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Hello all my name is Vivian Blake and I am a 40 year old transsexual currently living just north of Boston in a town called Chelsea. I definitely know that I am a transsexual according to the psychological definition but I will freely admit that most common people would probably define me as a cross dresser.  My average daily outfits are definitely a mix of both genders clothing and even though I have been in about thirty different shoe stores I have yet to find a pair of women's shoes in my size which would be a 12 that at all work as a winter shoe. All the women's shoes I have are summer shoes. Anyways I am a total bottom bitch here love getting fucked when dressed like a woman. I finally got my approval to start hormones about four months ago and so far the biggest change was that they completely and totally broke dick. I can't get hard anymore at all. About a month ago I tried taking a Cialis and a viagra at the same time and still nothing happened. I miss my  dick already too I was a tad bit over 7.5 decent thickness around the shaft and a real fat mushroom head. All the times I got to fuck a girl or a guy with it and of course all the times I managed to hookup with people and have them give me just head. Now that was the best of times me and my dick had. However even if I never get full use of my dick back I am hoping that in five years when I finish taking the hormones it was all worth it. Hopefully the hormones will leave me appearing much more feminine than I could have ever imagined and giving up my dick will have been worth it. Now back to why I joined this forum today. I have had a fantasy of being the center of a forced feminization totally raw ten on me gangbang going back at least ten years now and there were certainly other occasions where I came very close to not using protection and there was also a time period of a few months ending around seven months ago where I had been so drunk during the last two or last grinder or Craigslist hookup of the night that I was only just hoping I used them but I probably did. That extended period of drunken decision making was the reason I got myself on prep. Now I have been taking prep faithfully every day now and every day that I shove one of those horse pills in my mouth I have the same thoughts every day. I start thinking about how much I love to bottom and then I immediately start wondering just how good it could possibly be to be getting a good fucking and then as you hear the top climax you feel what? A warmish hotness begin to fill your insides?  Later on maybe a couple hours after you get cummed in do you feel it leak out at all? It just leads me to so many questions and I am convinced that it must really feel much better than fucking with a condom does. If it felt exactly the same then people would just always use condoms. So now about the end of last August I quit drinking so my late late night grinder and Craigslist hookups slowed down right away. Then as winter set in my work schedule began adding more and more hours every week until now I am at the point where putting in eighty hours for me feels like I am slacking now when you combine no more drinking with long work hours and then maybe you factor in that so many of the dudes that hit up gurls like me on Craigslist are really just hoping to chat a bit flirt exchange pictures and generally be nothing to the gurl but be a complete and total time vampire. I am telling you that a solid 70%of the guys that have chatted me up from Craigslist would not come fuck me even if I actually paid them. They would never let their small gurl fetish to ever go so far that they might really rub up against a penis. So when you combine all those together you get no sex in my pussy for almost five months. Seriously I went from up to four grinder hookups a night to an almost five months dead spell. Imagine how high the sexual frustration inside me has grown as I went longer and longer with no sex. The last two months in particular have been brutal I started fucking around and smoking tina A bit and I don't know how many of you out there have any experience with Tina but Tina seems like someone invented a drug that is fun to smoke and was specifically designed to make being a bottom bitch five times better than it was to begin with. When I smoke tina I feel immediately happy bordering on elated it also makes you feel confident maybe a bit too over confident it makes me at least 60% more gregarious than normal and I am easily a bare minimum of 70% more horny than normal when I am high on tina it's like I can hear my pussy hole asking me to feed it some cock that is the strength of the sexual urges it produces in me. There is also a feeling of being more uninhibited than normal. Let's not leave out the mental focus and ability to concentrate it  gives you and last but not least you can stay awake literally for days while smoking it. This past week during the week I was wide awake and alert for between four and five days I totally lost track exactly how long it was but I can say for sure that I wanted to be getting my pussy fucked the entire time I was up on tina. Just to sum up here I was just trying to explain how all these things that were making me horny were driving me further towards trying bb sex. Now I am on prep so there is almost no chance I would ever get hiv from unprotected sex. However it does nothing at all to save you from things like herpes or warts and now that is really what scares me. Who would want to fuck a gurl with herpes and warts on her pussy? I wonder if it's possible to find me some tops that are on prep? Wouldn't they be safer? Is there any hope I could find some tops from this site willing to go to the clinic with me and get tested for everything together before I give up raw pussy?  I am trying to come up with a way I can get fucked raw and be sure I'm safe. Anyway I will check back here to see what if anything you guys have to say. Now I'll try to figure out how to post my pictures here and if you like me pm me or something. 

  • Upvote 3
  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Hell gurl, most of my crap is written when I am seriously fucked up. That helps the good stuff cum out. Hope you enjoy the cock you find. But, there is no fully safe raw sex. Sure PReP can help with HIV, but the other stuff is still out there. And perhaps PReP cocks are driven by guys who feel "safe" they might be more likely to carry other bugs.

  • 2 weeks later...

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