Beating my dick to Rawtop

[Bearhole4pole]

When he was done "using the bathroom" in my ass, there was no way I was just gonna get up and shit all of that cum and piss out of my hole.  So I informed him that I wanted to take it home with me when he told me where the bathroom was.  He was very pleased with my piggieness, so he gave me a business card and sent me on my way with a promise of a repeat.  I found out quick that that was not a good idea LOL.  I got about two blocks away and piss just started leaking out of my used hole.  I tried to clench it off but it just wasn't working.  I actually had to duck behind some bushes and a dumpster to shit his cum and piss out.  My cock was so hard as I squatted down trying to be quiet.  I felt so nasty and alive!  I felt like a true cum pig.  I felt as if I had started my climb to being like Dawson, Ian Jay or Ryan Cummings.  A hole that guys wanted to nail.  Never in my life had I felt so hot and attractive.  But hey, I'm a big dude with some tattoos and a shaved head in Seattle.......who wouldn't want some of that right?  LOL

 

  When I got home, I took a shower and got cleaned up.  I jumped online and went to Rawtop.com 

I LOVE his blog!  It has really been a true resource for all things Bareback.  The messaging board always has some good stuff to read.  Now, a few years back, he had come under some fire in a few blogs because he openly discussed the HIV status of the models on his site.  Some of it came with proof because some of the models, such as Titpig and Dawson, were completely open about being poz.  But then he would make comments about other models like "he has that look" or when he would point out that such and such took a load from this poz model so 2+2=4, and guys would say he is going too far and blah blah blah.  

That all lead to an unfair stigma in bareback porn because you would hear about how everyone in the films had to have it and just assume everyone who barebacks has everything and if you do it so will you.  And Rawtop was actually the first person to break that stereo type.  He himself being a negative barebacker, he pointed out the things that poz guys didn't know about "the other side".  That is, the negative guys who were apart of the bareback community.  The exact same community as our poz counter parts.  Rawtop helped an actual community develop.  Barebacking was no longer just poz guys hooking up together because they felt like they could.  It had evolved into a bunch of guys enjoying raunchy pig sex and learning to manage everything that came along with it.

 I loved all of his stories about his trips to IML and how he reluctantly barebacked Dawson.  He later pointed out that only half of the guys who bred Dawson in his 20 Load Weekend video were poz.  People thought he was glorifying HIV, but he wasn't.  He was pointing out that negative guys barebacked.......A LOT.  Getting to watch Brad Mcguire pull his negative cock out of a poz hole that had a bunch of cum in it, that made me want to watch him even more.  I could identify with him and Rawtop and all the other guys who he busted out for being an "I don't care" negative fuck pig.  And the BB porn studios eventually took notice of the trend and stepped their games up a little.

Fast forward to now, and you can get online and see gorgeous negative men like Charlie Harding raw fucking openly poz bottoms like Mike Dozer.  There is even a hot video of him taking his poz husbands cum load up his negative ass and exclaiming "just like we do at home."

 

  We can read about guys like Antonio Biaggi, who uses condoms with his boyfriend at home.  But in his professional life, he is a negative top who breeds loaded cum holes and doesn't care about his own status changing.

The video's themselves are marketed as "instruction videos".  So if that is truly what they are and I am expected to pay for some sort of legitimate instruction, then I need to know what I am looking at.  Especially when it comes to barebacking.  Studios such as Treasure Island Media definitely caught on to this reality.  They have films like "Viral Loads" where you can watch them take a jar of cum, with the word POZ written on the top of it, and inject it up a bottoms ass just before a room full of guys fuck it in and add to it.

 

 

 And scenes with super hot fuck Daddies like Drew Sebastian asking a little bottom twink if he wants his "Toxic load" up his ass.
I mention all of this, because I spent several hours on Rawtop.com going over and over and over in my head what was going on in my sex life.   There were a lot of break-throughs with HIV meds going on at the time.  PreP was still not around yet, but this whole Undetectable and low viral load stuff was in full swing.  I read comments from guys about what all that meant and how sero-sorting could reduce certain risks.  There were very informative things about what to do if and when you became poz.  What were some expectations and what was bad and not so bad about it.  Rawtop made a very profound and obvious statement that stuck with me.  He said; "a bareback bottom equals a poz bottom.  That is just a fact of life.  So if you are going to bareback, make sure you make the most of your sex life."  And that was what I knew I needed to wrap my head around.  I was not going to stop having pig sex and I needed to be realistic about how being poz would effect my day to day life.  Hell, I needed to fined out if I was even still negative at that point.  I had changed my status to "I Don't Know" on Barebackrt.com and that was the honesty of the situation.