Been fooled to bareback then am stuck

[dldldl]

Hi everyone am a middle eastern 34 yo top 6ft I have always been scared to contract hiv even though I don’t bottom I hade few fuck buddys who love to take loads contracted chlamydia 2017 and been treated I know it’s was my boy I got scared absente for about 4 months then back that’s when I found this slutty prep middle eastern guy first time was safe but the second time was raw i contracted  Herpes was so painful I was down for about 15 months I hated my fucking life now am okay the shocking thing is I have never been tested I was diagnosed buy  visual I live in Paris  France if you know what I mean lol this kids taking prep and passing the rest of infections, now I don’t know what to do should i go get tested what if am infected my community is so different than my lifestyle anyway i want to get prep but also I had a risky blowjob he came in my throat and felt it like fire but ran and gargled with tooth based now I just can’t think right,I want to be more in a versatile side I wanna take dick but I will never let someone cum inside,herpes is fucking annoying now I have to deal with guilt if someone has to be in all that first outbreak I hade my question is what you think should I go get a blood work am absolutely not ready at all mentally.

Edited September 24, 2019 by dldldl

[Guest pozarnoldPGH]

or try celebrating EVERY experience; "pain" is a choice and MANY of US are thriving and surviving.  You are BLESSED by every Earthen experience of the Spirit Journey.  You into fisting!!? 😇

[viking8x6]

I think you should go see a doctor and get tested for whatever you are worried about, and treat it if you have caught something. Also, I think you are very worried and scared, more than you really need to be, because you don't know much about these things. My advice (worth its weight in gold!) is to try to relax, and educate yourself, and maybe find some people whom you trust to talk with about it. I realize that last thing might be hard (I'm guessing you are not out as gay?) but it can really help.

Here's how I think of it: All these STDs are just diseases like any other ones. Some of them are uncomfortable and some can kill you, but the same is true of all the other diseases you can catch in other ways. So there's no need to freak out, just evaluate the risk/reward equation and decide what is right for YOU. And I don't believe you have to feel guilty about passing diseases on to another person sexually, unless you do it deliberately and deceptively. The world is a dangerous place, and they decided to have sex with you.

[dldldl]

5 hours ago, viking8x6 said:

I think you should go see a doctor and get tested for whatever you are worried about, and treat it if you have caught something. Also, I think you are very worried and scared, more than you really need to be, because you don't know much about these things. My advice (worth its weight in gold!) is to try to relax, and educate yourself, and maybe find some people whom you trust to talk with about it. I realize that last thing might be hard (I'm guessing you are not out as gay?) but it can really help.

Here's how I think of it: All these STDs are just diseases like any other ones. Some of them are uncomfortable and some can kill you, but the same is true of all the other diseases you can catch in other ways. So there's no need to freak out, just evaluate the risk/reward equation and decide what is right for YOU. And I don't believe you have to feel guilty about passing diseases on to another person sexually, unless you do it deliberately and deceptively. The world is a dangerous place, and they decided to have sex with you.

Thank you (not openly gay or at least am trying)am more relaxed now than before no sex for almost 13 months but now back fuck buddies and apps, but still not self confident and that exited top I think herpes made my penis weaker am going to do it but for sure not now about talking to someone I saw a profile on a dating app that afford support and all std testing and prep and advices all for free that’s the good side of this country free medical services like a dream, when I started reading here in 2018 I got more courage to hit it raw because the bottoms insisted to get bred  both of them said they are on prep but both gave me un std shit I am mentally un balanced now still fucking itching I know the reason smoking and less food, 

off topic I swear boys in Paris are fucking raw like there is no tomorrow it’s un believable now a condom is a choice lifestyle in Europe not like the United States here this horny prep kids are fucking 24/7 lol

Edited September 24, 2019 by dldldl