I couldn't help myself

[cumcruzer69]

As a closeted guy trying to convince myself that I was straight and only fooled around with men when I got so horny I could not handle it any more I should never have spent all those hours on the local gay chat phone line. I would go for months with only jacking off (3 or 4 times a day) as relief but eventually I needed more. Going to the local Asian run mini-mart with the huge porn shelf I would but several girlie magazines with a gay article mag tucked in between them. I eventually found I could only buy the ones with men and women in them so I could jack to the vision of the hot male members. Then wait to cum while reading nasty stories of man to man play especially group play. It was the middle of the AIDS crisis so far too many of the stories included condom use which always made my cock go instantly go limp. In real life I was too scared to give into my real desires for raw cock and on the rare occasions I made a connection I always insisted on condom use. 

I was thrilled when one of the gay mags included an add for a local gay phone chat line. I called with my heart racing and when the recorded voice said "Welcome to the hottest gay chat line in the country my cock was instantly raging hard". When it asked for my name I was too shy and used my middle name David to try and hide myself. The honesty and perversion of many of the guys was driving me wild and I never actually talked with anyone the first few times just listening and jerking like a madman until I would spray a load of cum on the wall over my shoulder. Then the shame would hit and would have to hang up and clean myself off and feel guilty. The next night I would be back on line with my cock harder than before.

The best nights were when a guy who called himself "Barebacker" was on line I always had to send him messages and talk with the dirty guy. He would usually send a few messages back and forth with me, but after a while I knew he was loosing interest in me. In fear of loosing contact with him I finally invited him over to my place. He showed up with a goddie bag including dildoes, popers, a bong and bag of weed. At this point I had been clean and sober for 5 years and though I let him smoke a bowl (in my garage) and let him blow me, but I wound up too shy to go any farther.

The next weekend he was back on line. I apologized for my fear and asked him back scared I had blown it. Talking with him I asked him not to tell me his status because I was afraid his answer would scare me off. I felt so fortunate when he agreed to come over. I'm so thankful that though he was a top he really liked my thick 8" cock so he thought I was worth another chance. When he arrived I was still really nervous but I was too scared to blow it again so we started making out and went up to my bedroom to get naked. I was so nervous that I was practically shaking. He told me he had something that would help and pulled out a small glass pipe and bag with some white crystals. I reminded him that I was "clean and sober" he laughed and said "trust me you are going to like this". Something in me broke and I agreed  to smoke the "Coke" with him. He laughed again and said no for sex this is Tina and its even better. A couple hits later he was greasing my hole and I knew there was no turning back. Still something made me have to know and I said I had to know his status. He smiled and said I'm exactly what you need for your first bareback fuck. "I'm Positive"! 

Clearly the inner pervert had taken over because all the blood left my rational brain and filled my cock with my biggest erection ever! The pain of his 7" rod was intense but I knew I was going to have to take it. Within several strokes my ass felt better than ever before and I started moaning and talking like the pervert that I had become. As he got closer to blowing he asked me where I wanted his load. Of course I gay the only answer I could and begged him to fill me with his charged load. He said "I will, but you have to promise that you will never have safe sex again in your life. I was so turned on and shot an incredible load of my own as I said yes! 

That was the day my inner pig truly awakened. I broke up with the girl I had been trying to fake being straight with and have only had gay bareback sex ever since. My thanks to the stud who freed my inner pig!

[Petereater]

Oh, so many possibilities...great story!