To fuck raw or not to fuck raw - advice sought

[Guest wl101]

Alright guys. Got myself in a major headache and would appreciate some sound advice.

I'm in my mid-30s, live near Manchester, UK, happily engaged (to a woman). But for as long as I can remember I've always looked at guys differently. My porn collection is 99% gay and of that almost all of it is bareback. I don't find anything hot about watching two guys fuck with condoms.

Summer 2010 I finally got the balls to see a guy and now fucked around a dozen times thanks to various cruising sites / apps such as Grindr. I'm an exclusive top but stocky/chubby in appearance with an average cock but one that does spunk 10 or more ribbons of cum. As I'm not a ripped cutie and I'm also quite fussy who I get with the opportunity for gay sex isnt that often and as I have a high sex drive and i crave both male and female sex I find my cock head dictates my other head n

I'm fairly addicted to bareback porn and for the last 5-7 years have thought of little else other than wondering what it's like to fuck a guy raw and spunk my big load deep in his ass.

Over these last few months I've been hit up a few times by guys requesting I fuck them raw but I've always taken the view such guys were either already poz or didn't give a fuck what they were. As a result I've declined. But it's getting a harder and harder decision to say no.

A week ago I was hit up by a guy who instantly made my hard. Bit younger than myself and over the course of chatting to him he revealed he's a massive cum whore and has been taking raw loads for 15 years. He also takes up to a dozen a week. He was last tested a couple of years back and admitted to being surprised he was neg but he fucked raw from sexual maturity and says it's too addictive to give up.

Dilemma is this.

I get massively turned on by raw man sex and have dreamt about doing it for last few years. I would go as far as to say it pains me I want to do it that bad. Seriously. I wanna feel what it's like to have a guys ass enveloping my raw prick, that skin on skin feeling. I'm pissed off having man sex with a condom because some science guys recommend I do. I fully appreciate the risks and particularly with a guy who takes on average 2 raw loads a night. But a few days ago I was content in my decision to say fuck it, allow my fantasy to finally happen and live with the consequences.

But then again at the back of my mind is the common sense, my gf, rest of my life etc.

In short I'm a guy desperate to have raw sex but undergoing massive conflicts of interest in my head.

And for the record the guy in question has been really great about this and even suggested he'd be happy with me being rubbered, pulling out, coming on his hole, rubbering up again and fucking it back in again. So there's absolutely no pressure from him at all. It's all pressure on myself caused by me.

If only life were simple!

[tin]

IMO if you have a girlfriend involved, don't do it. While you may be willing to accept the risks for yourself, you have no right to make that choice for your girlfriend and risk bringing something home to her, even if it is something that is treatable.

That is, unless you have a kinky-open relationship with her and make her aware of what you are planning on doing, but for some-reason I doubt that's the case.

[Guest GoodExercise]

Live your life. Embrace your need for real sex. Latex destroys sex. It will all work out. You need to be free.

[Pig Bottom]

If you want to stay engaged and possibly marry a woman and cheat on her find a man who is negative, with tests to prove it, to bareback.

[HungLatinDom]

Tests are not reliable sometimes. You can be positive and still get a negative, having a very high viral load.

My advice is sit down and think what you really want. Because not only you cannot have both, you can destroy her life and your own life too. you might end up in jail. Life is making choices, sometimes very hard ones, it seems your time to decide has arrived.

Bes of lucks finding out what's best for you.

[Pig Bottom]

Tests are not reliable sometimes. You can be positive and still get a negative, having a very high viral load.

.

It's much safer than taking someone's word for it. Also a top is much less likely to get infected than a bottom is.

[HungLatinDom]

Not safe enough to risk jail and destroying the life of another person if you are wrong.

Plus, you can also be infected as a top, and worse, be confident that you are neg, because you are only topping.

[Guest wl101]

Cheers for the comments above peeps. Some very valid points raised. As none of my friends or family know about this side of me, I had nowhere to turn to for some impartial advice and I'm really pleased with the comments made.

Thinking with the head on my cock rather than the one at the top of my body, I had almost convinced myself fucking this guy raw as a one off would be a thrill and the chance of catching anything as a top on a one off wouldnt be great. Thus I could have my fun and return home carrying on as normal.

I strongly suspect there's an element of truth to this but I also know there's certainly the chance of something for more serious happening.

I guess it really is D-day.

[surreybb]

I wouldn't believe all this guy tells you. I agree BB sex is the best nothing better than cumming in a guy.

If you're in a sexual relationship with your woman and you still play about, then to be honest you need to play safe. I guess if you're engaged you enjoy raw sex with your female partner. To put her at risk is fucking stupid, selfish and you could look at a charge of GBH with intent, in other words at least 10 years in prison. While she loves you now, if she discovered she became poz cos of your hormones well you're cunted aren't you?

Either dump her and fuck raw, or keep it fantasy. I totally get where you're coming from here in relation to a female partner. Fine if people know the risks and want to convert, but convert an innocent person who trusted me 100%, I couldn't live with myself.

[Guest slobbvers]

The majority is right. Wouldn't be English to affect an innocent like that.

[Guest diapbttmboi]

Mate while there is doubt, don't do it.

[RedPhillip]

You are at much lower risk for contracting HIV if you top exclusively, but it is none the less possible. The lowest risk is, of course, topping a negative bottom. The next, and nearly as low risk, is topping a poz guy who is on effective antiviral treatment and has a consistently undetectable viral load. These two lower risk situations presume that you can trust the men in question. You remain at whatever the relative risk would be for all the rest of the STIs. If you are committed to marrying your fiancee and are equally committed to pursuing barrier-free sex (whether with men or women), you must be willing to accept the consequences of bringing an STI home and possibly infecting your partner.

I do not advise trying to conduct a secret life. The duplicity necessitated by doing so corrodes all the relationships you have, most especially those which are emotionally close and/or physically intimate. With regard to your fiancee, you'd be better off having a frank and honest discussion and negotiate the ground rules for your future together. If she can't deal with your need for sex with men at all, your relationship will have huge handicaps going forward. She ay be able to accept it on condition that she doesn't know about it, that it doesn't intrude on your lives together. She may accept it but only if you promise to use safer sex practices (which will put you in a bind yet again). Whatever her position on your extra-marital needs, getting everything laid out and settled before you're married is absolutely the best course for both of you.

[Guest wl101]

Sound advice people. Many many thanks to all the respondents. Given the nature of this forum I'm kind of (pleasantly) surprised how much common sense has come out of this.

It seems I have been very selfish and maybe even possibly criminally insane to consider letting my hormones run away with me and my dick. The possible criminal charges never even crossed my mind. That really hit home along with the comments about how I'd feel if I infected the missus.

Sadly, I'm one of those guys who is never gonna be able to reveal his true self to anyone. My missus had an ex once who revealed he was bi midway through and she dumped him there and then. So telling her I like to fuck men on the side ain't gonna do it for her as I love her too much to risk losing her and/or seeing her upset.

My brother is gay and this caused and continues to cause massive ructions with my parents as whilst my Mum can accept my bro's position my Dad is too old skool and can't. They've not spoken now for years and family events have never been family events because my bro is always missing when my father is involved. For the sake of my poor mother caught in the middle of it all, and my dad, Im not going to reveal to them both of their offspring like men to varying degrees!

So I'm firmly in the safe sex arena with the guy on Saturday even if it ruins things slightly. I just hope my cock doesn't get the better of me in the heat of the moment.

So thanks for putting things in black and white.

One final question, out of curiosity, any other exclusive tops on here who do fuck exclusively raw remained STI/STD free? If so do you put that down as much to luck as anything else?

[Pig Bottom]

Also remember you can also bring home Chlamydia, Syphyllis,, Herpes and Gonorrheah. (Can't spell em but you know what I mean)

[spunk_mutt]

It's unfortunate that you have to make a choice of hiding what you want based on the opinions and approval of your family and fiancé. Fucking raw is the last thing you should be thinking about while you hide who you are from those that love you based on their thoughts about an identity that's not truly yourself. If you cannot be honest with the woman you intend to marry you deny her and yourself the love and life you both deserve. Eventually your needs will win and her life will be torn apart because your inability to face the truth. This story has played out countless times leaving broken families and heartbreak. She deserves a better life than what you can provide. Marriage based on fraud is doomed before it begins. It's time to man up!