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rape


nipplepigny1

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Lotta us seem to have the fantasy ... but I wonder if it ever actually happens to anyone for real?

It happens. Sometimes as a random attack, as happened to a friend of mine (and he got HIV as a result of the attack), sometimes as a result of a top overstepping a bottom's limits (I reference Nicehard1's tagline "It's okay to say no after we're naked"). The incidence of man on man rape is horribly under-reported, in part because of the attitude of many gay men that it's impossible to be raped: "you could have fought him off" "you wanted it, really" and so on. Fact is when it happens you can be in fear of your life. When it's not pretend fear of your life, it's fucking terrifying. I speak as the survivor of two rapes.

I've often thought of stepping into a playroom as a suspension of belief: everything that happens there is removed from the real world, so it's a safe space to act out rape fantasies, or any other fantasy you care to name. I've found acting out fantasies of rape have helped me recover from the trauma of the real thing - in fact I didn't realise I was doing it until my partner said that I consistently used the word "no" for "yes, please, more" when we were were fucking. He found it disturbing that although I seemed to be having a good time, I was vocally rejecting it.

That was quite a while ago and the fantasies have waned - I fully believe that being able to re-enact the trauma, but on my terms, has been instrumental in getting over the trauma. In the UK it's now recognised that a man on man sexual assault is rape (whereas previously it was merely "gross indecency" and all parties were liable for prosecution).

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