What is real ? 🤔

[Carlos1881]

What is more real: how you perceive yourself, or how others perceive you? 
 

Have fun with this on guys 

Karl 😀

[Philatanus]

I think of myself as selfless and altruistic. I appreciate most all in my life, and am rather happy.

How others perceive me, has never been a concern for me.  Remain positive, be glad and thankful for all.

Having a cute Twink boyfriend, helps, too!

Karl, I noticed you did not write an answer to your own question!  😃

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Philatanus said:

Karl, I noticed you did not write an answer to your own question!  😃

You noticed that too huh?

Karl seems to give no information about himself yet is very interested in getting others to share about themselves. 😏

[GarrettParker]

My admiration for Karl's abs and a longing to tongue them for a good long while is real! 😉 Though I envision myself as a strapping 6'2'' lad with an insatiable appetite for raw sex, I sometimes am surprised when I see a 5'9'' fellow looking at me in the mirror. Though I don't have nearly as much sex as I'd like, my partners and I always seem to have a good, sweaty, spermy time. 

[ErosWired]

Your question boils down to whether others understand you better than you understand yourself just by observing you. I don’t see how that can possibly be true. While others may discern things about you of which you are unaware or the reality of which you may resist, the number of things that you know about yourself that they don’t will always be far greater. You will always have more information on which to base an evaluation of yourself.

That’s not to say that others’ perceptions aren’t revealing, and useful, even when (and especially if) at odds with our own. As an autistic person, I don’t have the ability the average neurotypical person does of automatically being able to understand how a person is feeling from his body language. So when I’m around other people I have to constantly pay very close attention to their gestures and expressions, as well as what they say, to try to decode the things they are unconsciously signaling about their response to how they perceive me. If I don’t, I invariably manage to get it wrong and unwittingly say something that offends someone.

But what I’ve learned from all this careful study is that other people perceive you not clearly, but through the filter of themselves. That means that the way another person sees you will never be a straight-up picture of you; it will always be a picture of you-as-interpreted-b-them. It’s kind of like a book translated from one language to another: The two may be very close in meaning, but there will always be places where something doesn’t quite translate. When you perceive yourself, you perceive in a language all your own.

[Loveitraw]

I've spent a relatively long time learning not to be too concerned with other's perceptions of me. This is for several reasons the not least of which is that I don't want to shape myself based on what I believe people think of me.

I am neither a good or bad person, just a person who in any given situation will react according to the situation. If I find money in the street I consider myself lucky. If I find a wallet I'll try to return it to its owner. In either circumstance I act according to my own moral code, not a desire for the approval of others. If I am liked cool; If not alright then. I hope neither outcome changes me.

We are all little universes wrapped up in a few pounds of flesh.  Shaped by memory and experience and bound only by imagination.  In slightly less poetic terms this means that it is impossible to truly know someone else. It is entirely possible to share as much of yourself as you are able and hope to find others willing to be as open. Self awareness is, of course, key to doing this. The only person who genuinely knows you is you.

 

 

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

10 hours ago, Karl8181 said:

What is more real: how you perceive yourself, or how others perceive you? 
 

Have fun with this on guys 

Karl 😀

How very Zen Karl!

it’s a similar principle to “If a tree falls in a first and there is nobody there to hear it - does it make a sound?”

My attitude to myself (perception is a whole different thing as I am never happy with how I perceive myself, I am too self critical for that) is that people can take me as I am, or they can fuck off.  Over the years I have changed my demeanour and done things to suit others rather than myself and, at 45, I’m not doing it any more.  I’m all for being flexible but some people take flexibility as an invitation for them to dictate.

I do have a strong compass between wrong and right and won’t deliberately do anything to wrong anyone, the same cant always be said of others and having been a “pushover” in the past I don’t let that happen now. If I am wronged now I have a simple mantra “don’t get mad, get EVIL”!

 

[cosmaz]

I don't believe that how others perceive me is any more or less real than how I perceive myself.  

I think the premise of the question is faulty and that neither is more real than the other. 

I do agree with GarrettParker perceiving that Karl's abs would be nice to tongue, lick and worship for a good while. 

Edited July 16, 2021 by cosmaz