First time in a harness

[Guest PigBruderChi]

2 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I did not say - or imply - anything of the kind. I said absolutely nothing about Tops viewing harnesses as permission to do anything without consent, and I have never experienced such a thing. I only said that in my personal lived experience Tops tend to fuck rougher when I wear a harness than when I don’t. I don’t claim that every Top does that. I don’t claim that every Top does anything. So, yes, harnesses can change the way a fuck goes. Sorry if that doesn’t match your theory.

As to ‘Top harnesses’ and ‘bottom harnesses’ - sez who? I’ve been around a lot of men strapped up in leather and I’ve yet to encounter anyone who got his nuts in a tangle because somebody was wearing the ‘wrong’ harness. That sounds like some very local thing to me. The Fistfy.com “Complete Guide to Harness” makes no mention of a difference. Across Reddit it seems to be considered an ‘anybody thing’. Style is highly variable between groups, codes are even more so, and the Internet can provide an exception to every Rule, so there’s little point in making a fashion statement sound like a creed.

The bottom line is that harnesses began as bondage restraints. All but the most minimal still are. Suggesting that a bondage restraint of any kind is unsuitable for a bottom - when the bottom is involved in scenes where such gear is worn - is absurd.

yes you did. a top shouldn't just assume they can fuck rough when someone is wearing a harness. HARD NO. 

[ErosWired]

41 minutes ago, PigBruderChi said:

yes you did. a top shouldn't just assume they can fuck rough when someone is wearing a harness. HARD NO. 

One gets the impression that you haven’t actually spent much time in a harness. Come back and talk to me again after you’ve spent ten years as a bondage sub. We’ll compare notes.

[Guest PigBruderChi]

1 minute ago, ErosWired said:

One gets the impression that you haven’t actually spent much time in a harness. Come back and talk to me again after you’ve spent ten years as a bondage sub. We’ll compare notes.

Come back to me when you have learned from the best leather elders in the leather community. 

[ErosWired]

47 minutes ago, PigBruderChi said:

Come back to me when you have learned from the best leather elders in the leather community. 

For God’s sake. There is no Leather Authority. There is no “leather creed”.

Here, educate yourself. From sfleather.org, an explanation of what Leather is from the late Robert Davolt, who among (many) other things was in its last years the CEO, Editor and Publisher of the original Drummer Magazine, arguably the most recognized journal of Leather culture in America from 1977 to 1999. He’s about as ‘elder’ as anybody could ask for on the subject.

[think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.sfleather.org/Robert_Davolt/Myths-101.html

Edited August 10, 2021 by ErosWired

[Spunkinmyarse]

Thank you @ErosWired for your insight- such a shame that what was intended to be a light-hearted topic took a sour turn so quickly.

I agree with pretty much everything you say.  I hope that by wearing a harness I am indeed signaling to certain tops that I would like them to use it to penetrate me harder and deeper than they could if I wasn’t wearing it, particularly when I am bent over a fuck bench in a fuck club with my arse in the air.  Presenting myself in such a position in such a location is providing the top with all the consent he requires: to suggest that he also needs my verbal consent to fuck me harder than he would if I weren’t wearing the harness is absurd! Of course, I reserve the right to tell him to stop at any point, and if he doesn’t, that that’s the point where his fucking me becomes rape...

[Spunkinmyarse]

Update: harness gave me an underarm rash 😢

It’s either that or I’ve got syphilis 🤔

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

I’ve got a couple of harnesses, full and just chest, depending on the scene I tend to wear them with leather jeans/chaps and a waistcoat as it’s less bulky and less warm than full leather gear (full leathers in a bar is fine but in a busy club you end up melting, so a reduced wardrobe is easy, plus with chaps and a jock easier to play.

A harness is a good anchor point whether giving or taking, if you have someone behind you then can use it to pull you close when pounding you and if you are riding someone they can use it to pull you in closer.

[badjujuboy]

On 8/18/2021 at 2:27 AM, WelshBBCigarFuck said:

I’ve got a couple of harnesses, full and just chest, depending on the scene I tend to wear them with leather jeans/chaps and a waistcoat as it’s less bulky and less warm than full leather gear (full leathers in a bar is fine but in a busy club you end up melting, so a reduced wardrobe is easy, plus with chaps and a jock easier to play.

A harness is a good anchor point whether giving or taking, if you have someone behind you then can use it to pull you close when pounding you and if you are riding someone they can use it to pull you in closer.

Definitely on point.  The only thing that bothers me is when I see a guy with a loose harness.  It's meant to accentuate your pecs. Otherwise, you've got some leather straps just hanging there.

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

4 hours ago, badjujuboy said:

Definitely on point.  The only thing that bothers me is when I see a guy with a loose harness.  It's meant to accentuate your pecs. Otherwise, you've got some leather straps just hanging there.

Yeah, a harness needs to be tight fitting and secure, otherwise it looks wrong, feels uncomfortable and serves no purpose

[Guest]

Getting fucked with a harness on makes me really feel like a sub. Unfortunately I bought one of those nice leather bicolor harnesses with rivets, and when the top mounting me gets a little too rough, rivets come off...