Folding BB into Monogamish

[sugarintheraw]

I've been with my partner over three years. It's great, we love each other. We met as a Scruff hookup when I was in an open relationship with someone else, but that fell to the wayside. Before we became official, I had embraced being a bareback bottom. I haven't been fucked wrapped since 2015. My partner and I never used condoms, even when we first started having sex, though I know it made him uncomfortable.

I recognized I had a habit of cheating on previous boyfriends, so once we were official, I deleted everything except BBRTS - I figured he'd have to do a deep dive to find it. The sleazy side of my sexual nature was suppressed. He knew I loved having his cum in my ass, but I never really emphasized that it's the primary component of anal sex to me.

Over that time, I chatted with guys on BBRTS but always made an excuse to avoid meeting up with them. It kept the cumslut spirit alive. I wanted to cheat, badly, but I knew a single mistake would destroy my relationship. Eventually we became friends with a guy I had been chatting with online, and at a party he let slip to my partner that we had been having sexually charged conversations on BBRTS. He found my profile and I had to fess up.

It was a rough week of emotions and my partner feeling betrayed, though I was clear I had never hooked up with anyone. He doesn't want an open relationship but is open to having sex with others as long as we're both involved and it's safe.

So here's the rub. I explained that all of my sexual activity for the past 6 years had been bareback and I didn't want to return to wrapped sex. I love having cum on me and in me; it's the #1 thing I want when I have sex. I have long acknowledged and accepted the risks involved with this behavior (he was aghast). I don't want to thrust him into the same behavior, but I was clear that if our exploration is going to involve condoms, I'd rather not hook up with other guys at all.

Of course the first guy we hook up with, the three of us agreed to go bb. He got to watch another man breed my ass and I got to watch him breed that man's ass. It was incredible. I loved it. Then he freaked out over what happened and how I didn't regulate the situation. Well, neither did the two of you, and we all consented to fuck bare, so...

We haven't had penetrative sex with others since. Now that he knows my cumslut side exists, I want to reawaken it. I also want to top again! I love fucking a hairy hole. I want him to pimp my ass out. I want him putting tally marks on my back with how many loads I've taken. I want him to feel my cum as he slides into a guy's ass. I miss all of this. I need some component of our sex life to feel transgressive - having secrets was hot to me, but now it has to be full disclosure, everything shared. Fine, I guess. So how do I approach this again? I'll help him get on prep (I've been on it for 4 years) - I'll do what I need to do so he and I can have a raw dogging good time with others. How do I do this responsibly and ethically, while sticking to my insistence that raw is law if my body is involved?

[viking8x6]

15 hours ago, sugarintheraw said:

He doesn't want an open relationship but is open to having sex with others as long as we're both involved and it's safe.

OK, he has told you his boundaries. Options are: You convince him to move them, or you move yours, or you cheat (with concomitant risk), or you pack up and get out of Dodge.

My choice (and it's just my personal one) would be #4. It would hurt, but I've been there and it didn't get better - I kept it in my pants and he got all jealous anyway and the end was just ugly.

But if you're inclined to #1 and/or #2, I'd look at his boundaries carefully.

...as long as we're both involved...  Probably that's not going to change, but if it does it will likely be a gradual process. I wouldn't push it.

...and it's safe... This is where I think you have some room to change things. Fact: There is no safety this side of the grave. You could be hit by a bus! (thanks Cher!) PrEP and vaccines mean your risk of getting something incurable and nasty from sex are really pretty low. Getting something curable is less likely with condoms, but as someone who has acquired STIs more than once while using condoms every time for anal intercourse, it's pretty easy to do anyway. Education may be your best strategy here.

[theplayerking]

Get him on PrEP. If you met him on Scruff, his issue might be more about safety than casual sex per se.