Help & advice

[Guest]

Ok, so since my early 20s I had thoughts of sex with a man, an older bigger man, I don’t know why but that’s what happened, I just watched gay porn and never really done anything, had girlfriends etc and that was that, when I got to late 20s I joined a site, hooked up with a top and had sex with him, he used a condom, I enjoyed it, then left it there for about 4 years. Very recently, I rejoined a site, this time arranged a meet up with my exact type, older, bigger, dominant etc and let him fuck me bb, I didn’t even think about it, I went to his house, sucked his cock and let him rim then fuck me bb, without a doubt the sexiest thing I have ever done, I mean, I was bent over his bed, he’d fuck me, pull my cock back and suck it and I felt to open and helplessly turned on, I can’t stop thinking about it, lately, I haven’t been able to get him out of my head, I want to meet him again, but I feel I need to make the choice to be gay and enjoy the things he does openly and freely, or leave the urges alone and be straight, any advice would be so welcome. Thanks 

[Guest]

Being gay isn’t a choice. 

I understand that you’re confused and we each must make our own journey — where that journey leads is different for each person. 

That said, if you enjoy and are fulfilled by sex with men, it’s a good bet you’re not “straight”.  But I’d spend less effort focusing on labeling yourself, and more time learning to love yourself — whoever, and whatever, you may be. 

After that, if you want to come out to yourself and/or others, you can and should. Just go at your own pace and lean on others who support and love you.  

And in the meantime, don’t feel you need to choose. Take as much raw dick as you like and let your dom bring you (and him) as much pleasure as possible, stud!
 

[viking8x6]

4 hours ago, NewBottom90 said:

I want to meet him again, but I feel I need to make the choice to be gay and enjoy the things he does openly and freely, or leave the urges alone and be straight

It seems to me that the labels "gay" and "straight" are contributing to your confusion. Why not let them go and think about what is real for you?

You have enjoyed sex with men, and with this man in particular. You want to do it more. There's nothing wrong with that, and it is one of the blessings human beings can enjoy on this earth - go for it!

Perhaps you are worried that you must behave a particular way or acknowledge to the world that you enjoy sex with men and indulge in it. That is a completely separate decision, and you can make it based on your own feelings and circumstances. You can keep it to yourself, or share it only with people whom you trust, or wear it on your sleeve - all of these options are valid, and each has different consequences. But you don't have to rush into it, either.  You can share it with one person you trust and see how that feels. You can share it semi-anonymously in a friendly group setting and see how that feels (indeed, you already have, right here!). My advice (worth its weight in gold!) is not to allow the potential judgments of others lessen your enjoyment of life. Whatever approach fits that best for you is the one to choose. Because life is too short already, and allowing others to make any part of it miserable is a great shame, and in my view of the world a sin.

[Guest]

On 8/10/2022 at 5:24 AM, viking8x6 said:

It seems to me that the labels "gay" and "straight" are contributing to your confusion. Why not let them go and think about what is real for you?

You have enjoyed sex with men, and with this man in particular. You want to do it more. There's nothing wrong with that, and it is one of the blessings human beings can enjoy on this earth - go for it!

Perhaps you are worried that you must behave a particular way or acknowledge to the world that you enjoy sex with men and indulge in it. That is a completely separate decision, and you can make it based on your own feelings and circumstances. You can keep it to yourself, or share it only with people whom you trust, or wear it on your sleeve - all of these options are valid, and each has different consequences. But you don't have to rush into it, either.  You can share it with one person you trust and see how that feels. You can share it semi-anonymously in a friendly group setting and see how that feels (indeed, you already have, right here!). My advice (worth its weight in gold!) is not to allow the potential judgments of others lessen your enjoyment of life. Whatever approach fits that best for you is the one to choose. Because life is too short already, and allowing others to make any part of it miserable is a great shame, and in my view of the world a sin.

Amen !

 

On 8/10/2022 at 1:14 AM, NewBottom90 said:

Ok, so since my early 20s I had thoughts of sex with a man, an older bigger man, I don’t know why but that’s what happened, I just watched gay porn and never really done anything, had girlfriends etc and that was that, when I got to late 20s I joined a site, hooked up with a top and had sex with him, he used a condom, I enjoyed it, then left it there for about 4 years. Very recently, I rejoined a site, this time arranged a meet up with my exact type, older, bigger, dominant etc and let him fuck me bb, I didn’t even think about it, I went to his house, sucked his cock and let him rim then fuck me bb, without a doubt the sexiest thing I have ever done, I mean, I was bent over his bed, he’d fuck me, pull my cock back and suck it and I felt to open and helplessly turned on, I can’t stop thinking about it, lately, I haven’t been able to get him out of my head, I want to meet him again, but I feel I need to make the choice to be gay and enjoy the things he does openly and freely, or leave the urges alone and be straight, any advice would be so welcome. Thanks 

Good luck bro.
Hope you are and will be happy with whatever you do and find in your life.

Good for you reaching out. And I hope you have or find in your personal life people you can confide in. There are lots of people who don't care who you are attracted to, or who you love for that matter.
Having something that is secret can - I'm only talking from my personal experience - make someone lonely. 

And perhaps, you might want to talk to your general practitioner or a local (sexual) health clinic about safer sex, the use of condoms and perhaps PrEP.
Look out for yourself bro.
There's only one of you and that makes you unique.

[Bruce999]

Don’t let labels guide you if it feels good do it as that’s what life is about feeling good having a good time and enjoying life to its fullest

[Padrick]

Being gay isn't a choice, being bisexual isn't a choice.

It's how you and you alone feel deep down, without any hindrance. Forget labels, be who you want to he and how you feel.