Not using condoms vs. Bareback sex

[amanwithaplan333]

I just wondered if anyone else felt this distinction. 
 

There’s so many guys now who, for whatever reason, are fine to fuck without condoms. I love sex, so that’s great. But I feel like that’s not the same as true barebacking.  I feel like there’s a particular lust for cum, a sense of risk, a real slutty-ness, and a love of that most intimate bond men share when we cum in each other that’s not the same as just “not using condoms cause we’re on prep” or something. 
 

it’s like, there’s sex without condoms, 

and then there’s cum-filled, intimate, slutty sex between men who actively choose to never wear protection. 
 

anyone else feel like this?

[Alwayscurious01]

I think you are right and I couldn’t agree more. Barebacking, to me, implies an urgency or drive, an intoxicating sexual high. 

[PigBoyDallas]

I kinda get where you're coming from. Me personally, I never use condoms and don't want a guy fucking me to wear one, it's just how I'm wired. I start conversations with guys implying it's gonna be raw and I want their cum in me, or I'm gonna put my cum in them. I don't even mention condoms, its all bareback and presumed bareback, that's my norm. When a guy asks me about condoms, I know bare isn't their norm. I know they're a worrier and gonna ask lots of questions. Maybe they're on prep and being overcautious, maybe not on prep. Barebackers are in it for the carnal fuck of no-holds fucking. The condom crowd is inhibited, restrained, holding themselves back. Even if they let me fuck them without a condom, they want me to pull out to cum instead of the pleasure of getting bred raw. And I get where they're coming from, its just a lot more to navigate and work out. It's different mindsets.

[BootmanLA]

20 hours ago, amanwithaplan333 said:

it’s like, there’s sex without condoms, 

and then there’s cum-filled, intimate, slutty sex between men who actively choose to never wear protection. 

anyone else feel like this?

I'm not sure I understand the distinction you're drawing. Are you saying there's a difference between person A ("I will have sex without a condom sometimes") and person B ("I refuse to wear a condom")?

If you mean there's a physical difference in the sex, of course there isn't. Fucking without a condom is fucking without a condom, period.

If you mean there's a difference in the mentality of person A and person B, that may be reflected in the particular style, vigor, whatever of the fucking they do? Possibly so. But I think that's not dependent on what you think it is. I know guys who always bareback but who do not, by any stretch of the imagination, "particular lust for cum, a sense of risk, a real slutty-ness".

Separately, you touch on "risk" and then on "barebacking because of PrEP" - which suggests another possibility: are you distinguishing barebackers who do NOT use PrEP (ie "risk") from barebackers who do? If that's the case, there could well be a difference in that those who skip PrEP but bareback anyway may indeed be more risk-prone and that could reflect in their sex. I think they're fucking stupid for risking getting an incurable disease that's easily preventable, but yeah, I can see why some people out there would say "far out, man, that's so rad" and think it's a plus. 

[barebackbro]

In some English-speaking countries, male-male anal sex without condoms is now overwhelmingly the norm. Most of the people posting here are probably from those countries (though there are plenty of exceptions and everyone's welcome!). Given that, we might question why the site still exists - yet it seems to be thriving!

We are all struggling for precision, but I think what @amanwithaplan333 has identified is a devotion to bareback sex.

Some of the signs might be:

• barebacking without prep
• refusing hot guys if they want a condom to be used
• feeling there is something sacred about bareback sex
• obsessing over bareback sex
• enjoying the risk of bareback sex
• and as @amanwithaplan333 mentions, 'a particular lust for cum'.

[BootmanLA]

9 minutes ago, barebackbro said:

In some English-speaking countries, male-male anal sex without condoms is now overwhelmingly the norm. Most of the people posting here are probably from those countries (though there are plenty of exceptions and everyone's welcome!). Given that, we might question why the site still exists - yet it seems to be thriving!

We are all struggling for precision, but I think what @amanwithaplan333 has identified is a devotion to bareback sex.

Some of the signs might be:

• barebacking without prep
• refusing hot guys if they want a condom to be used
• feeling there is something sacred about bareback sex
• obsessing over bareback sex
• enjoying the risk of bareback sex
• and as @amanwithaplan333 mentions, 'a particular lust for cum'.

I think what I find confusing is how PrEP figures into this. Other than the fact that someone on it can't contract HIV, every other aspect of this is identical whether either party is on PrEP or not.

I think it's very disingenuous to claim "bareback sex" (or a devotion to it) isn't real if there is PrEP involved. 

[barebackbro]

4 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

I think what I find confusing is how PrEP figures into this. Other than the fact that someone on it can't contract HIV, every other aspect of this is identical whether either party is on PrEP or not.

I think it's very disingenuous to claim "bareback sex" (or a devotion to it) isn't real if there is PrEP involved. 

I agree that not using prep isn't an essential condition for being a dedicated barebacker. (Eager bareback fucking without prep is probably a sufficient condition, though!)

Apart from the fact of not using a condom, the distinction seems entirely mental.

[amanwithaplan333]

To clarify, I’m PRO prep, and that has nothing to do with how raw it feels. I think it’s the mindset we enter in with. I was only suggesting that because if prep, lots of guys are fine to have sex without condoms. I just feel like that’s different than guys who (whether they are on prep or not) crave cum.

[BootmanLA]

1 minute ago, amanwithaplan333 said:

To clarify, I’m PRO prep, and that has nothing to do with how raw it feels. I think it’s the mindset we enter in with. I was only suggesting that because if prep, lots of guys are fine to have sex without condoms. I just feel like that’s different than guys who (whether they are on prep or not) crave cum.

It's possible that it's different. But I also imagine quite a few guys on PrEP *already* craved cum, as you put it, and in fact that's the very reason they went on PrEP in the first place - to get the benefits of barebacking without the risk.

Some of the people on PrEP were barebackers long before PrEP was a thing. You might have a better argument for the idea that those people who switched to barebacking only AFTER getting on PrEP are different.

 

[amanwithaplan333]

10 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

It's possible that it's different. But I also imagine quite a few guys on PrEP *already* craved cum, as you put it, and in fact that's the very reason they went on PrEP in the first place - to get the benefits of barebacking without the risk.

Some of the people on PrEP were barebackers long before PrEP was a thing. You might have a better argument for the idea that those people who switched to barebacking only AFTER getting on PrEP are different.

 

Not trying to making an argument. Just trying to have a fun topic on a site for guys who love cum. 

[BootmanLA]

I meant "argument" in the sense of "debatable point". Without debatable points, discussion forums quickly become cesspools of "post something provocative" and everyone answers "me too but even more so". I actually like posts like yours better, because they exhibit a perspective and invite discussion of actual differences of opinion. 

[PozBearWI]

13 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

I think what I find confusing is how PrEP figures into this. Other than the fact that someone on it can't contract HIV, every other aspect of this is identical whether either party is on PrEP or not.

I think it's very disingenuous to claim "bareback sex" (or a devotion to it) isn't real if there is PrEP involved. 

Unless of course HIV is the objective more than bareback sex itself.  

[Guest]

Splitting hairs and confusing things: barebacking is sex without condoms, i.e. no condoms. 

What you are questioning is if the notion of barebacking implies a degree of lust, perversion, kinkyness, etc. Maybe, or maybe not. When you crave cum you do just that. And barebacking implies fucking without condom. How horny you are every time and how kinky you are, it is not reflected in the concept of barebacking. Sure, if you, or/and someone else want to attach that meaning to it, fine. But for now, barebacking means sex without condom. And that includes concepts such as sex with no condom vs, condomless or some other 'lawyery' fine differentiation. 

And the number of times that you fuck without condom has nothing to do with the concept of barebacking. You can say that you are a regular barebacker, an exclusive barebacker or an occasional one. You cannot choose to actively be a barebacker because that would imply that you can be a passive one (not to be confused with the role of the bottom). If you are fucking without a condom you are a fucking bareback. Frequency, level of desire, intimacy, horny-ness, kinky-ness, are not attributes related in a meaningful way to barebacking. Barebacking and 'fucking with no condoms' are synonyms. 

 

[Guest]

18 hours ago, barebackbro said:

In some English-speaking countries, male-male anal sex without condoms is now overwhelmingly the norm.

Prior to the pandemic I traveled regularly for work to meet clients, perhaps 3-4x a month. These were normally short trips for 2-3 days but I have had instances where I resided in the area for weeks due to projects. One thing I learned from my travel is how common sex without condom is in places that are poor, either rural areas or urban. I was surprised to come across men who were ok with raw sex and I was also surprised to how many men that were poz and lying about it. I was also surprised how so many men were having raw sex and NOT on PreP. 

I learned that for many of these places men do not have access to LGBTQ care, PreP is not easily accessible, and also how so many men were clueless about HIV. I can’t tell you how many times I came across someone repeating false statements about how one contracts HIV. I’ve had one top tell me HIV is a white gay disease. I’ve had a top tell me he can’t get HIV because he isn’t a slut. Overall it’s kinda sad and makes sense why HIV is so prevalent in poor areas. On one hand I find myself shocked yet on other hand it makes it easier to hook up in these areas 

[funpozbottom]

On 9/12/2022 at 11:31 PM, amanwithaplan333 said:

I just wondered if anyone else felt this distinction. 
 

There’s so many guys now who, for whatever reason, are fine to fuck without condoms. I love sex, so that’s great. But I feel like that’s not the same as true barebacking.  I feel like there’s a particular lust for cum, a sense of risk, a real slutty-ness, and a love of that most intimate bond men share when we cum in each other that’s not the same as just “not using condoms cause we’re on prep” or something. 
 

it’s like, there’s sex without condoms, 

and then there’s cum-filled, intimate, slutty sex between men who actively choose to never wear protection. 
 

anyone else feel like this?

Is there a difference between sex without condoms and barebacking?  Let me ask you this: Is there a difference between an afternoon tea party and a pre-game tailgater?  Of course there's a difference. You participate in one when you are feeling posh and trendy, and you participate in the other when you're too wasted to realize that sliding a hot grill under your car's gas tank isn't a good idea.  It's exactly the same with bare sex.

... but seriously ...

I think I understand the distinction you are making.  As prep has become more available, more guys seem to be willing to go without a condom, but with conditions or only in some circumstances. For example, they might do it bare with regular partners but not random / anonymous hook-ups. These guys are probably still in the process of assessing the risks / rewards of going bare. Contrast that to regular barebackers who have already decided that the rewards outweigh the risks, and will always be willing to fuck bare.

While I see that there may be some distinction to be made, it doesn't make a difference to me when deciding to have sex. I don't care about the guy's rationale for using or not using a condom.  All I want is to make him cum.