Dumped for telling the truth

[gwmxyz]

I agree with others - you were right to tell the truth. It's the right thing to do - and much better from his point of view than the one he had feared. Anyone who bb's knows there's a risk. Your answer - at least to anyone rational - puts his risk with you as low as its ever realistically likely to be. It's not just about the answer but also about whether the answer given is true.

The problem is we are not really at our best when sexual desire tells us to do one thing, and fear tells us that death and disgrace will follow immediately if we do. Regular fucks may vanish for no reason - or pop up again - regardless of anything we say or do. 

I remember there was one guy I would regularly meet for a suck - never more. That was fine with me - he seemed clearly the condom type, and I suspect I just as clearly bb. He was a nice guy - someone I'd known for years and sucked on countless occasions, and by the end, I saw him as much as a friend as a FB. 

Then one time - to surprise and delight - he decided to fuck me, bb.

Only after that he never wanted to see me again - not even to suck. We did eventually arrange a (brief and slightly awkward) meet for a chat - which didn't shed much light on things. My guess is that he knew that if I let him fuck me, bb, he knew I would let others do it too. Allowing him to fuck me turned him on at the time, but it also made me seem too much of a risk.

A far more rational approach - would have been to ask about my status and bb at the very outset and make a decision accordingly rather than trying to piece things together in this way. But neither his reasons for starting - nor his decision to stop was remotely rational it was never very likely.  As I say, he was a nice guy. He knew his reaction was both irrational and unfair.  And that made him feel bad. But it wasn't going to change how he felt.

Or another time, a guy responded to my CL post looking to be fucked, bb and anon. Only he said it couldn't be truly anon because he knew me. I asked if he wanted to fuck even so. (Sightly disingenuously - if it had freaked him out that he knew me, he would have gone quiet; if he was still sending me messages, it he clearly still wanted to fuck).

His reply duly confirmed this, so I went to his place, put on the blindfold and got fucked. Only as soon as he had cum, he starts lecturing me on how dangerous and wrong it was to get bb fucks from strangers.

Anyone remotely rational would see that the fuck and the bollocking were alternatives. He could do either - but choosing one did realistically rule out the other. They would also skip the lecture. Even if it were true, he would seem in an exceptionally poor position to give it - not just because it was his cum dripping from my hole - but also because I was in an open relationship, and he was not. But as it wasn't rational, there was no point. His views on filthy sluts varied wildly according to mood. Now they seemed irresponsible and diseased - but when he was back in the mood, they would still be who he wanted to fuck. So I nodded and tried to look serious as if I thought the same - and if his cum in my hole filled me with concern, not delight.

As everyone has said, this isn't about you. Nor is there any reason to think any answer would have had a different result. Trying to guess what lie might have "worked" and giving it seems as pointless as it is wrong. He is also (probably) slightly more likely to change his mind if his fear comes from the truth you told him, not the comfort of the  "right" answer combined with a fear that it might not be true.