Code of conduct for bottoms / submissives

[Chuckybb]

For some time I have been thinking about a "code of conduct" for bottoms or submissives. In some way, this might hark back to the days of the pre-aids leather / S&M comminity in places like NYC, but this is not based on any type of fetish wear or leather scene. Purely, in my view as a submissive bottom, where I think my priorities lie. I would be interested in knowing if any Tops/Dominants want to add their perspective or "Code" to this or if any other bottoms/submissives want to add or comment. These are purely my thoughts and are based on my belief that a bottom must always submit to the wishes and desires of their top/dominant before their own needs. This is about putting their top first and any sexual gratification or satisfaction that the bottom recieves is secondary to that of the top.

1. A bottom must always submit to their top/dominant on demand.
2. It is purely the decision of the top to use protection or not. The bottom cannot refuse either protected or unprotected sex as this is not their decision. A bottom can take prep to avoid HIV infection, but the utlimate decision is made by the top. In my experience, I have had tops use protection to begin with and then remove the condom later on to release their load naturally.
3. When a top has engaged, e.g "docked" or entered the bottom, the bottom cannot halt the process until the top has either came or decided to stop. The bottom must remain in receipt mode as long as the process takes and work hard to bring the top to climax. The reward for the hard work of the bottom in remaining in this position is the receiving of the tops seed. Once bred and the top pulls out, the bottom may leave the area/situation unless the top has specifically stated otherwise.
4. If in a sauna/darkroom or other adult place where vision is restricted, when an unseen top enters the bottom then again, the bottom is in receipt mode. 3, above still appies.
5. If the top has decided that the bottom is to be shared with other tops, then the bottom must remain in receipt mode until all the tops have climaxed or have decided that the event is over.
6. Where possible, the bottom should orally clean the tops cock after receiving the load. This ensures that all of the seed is taken and as a mark of respect and gratitude for the top.
7. Again, in a group sex situation, where another bottom is in reciept mode to one or more tops, any other bottoms in the vicinity should assist the bottom, never hinder. This can be done by stimulating the bottom by kissing or securing their arms/head whilst the process continues. Never try and engage with the active top during this process unless instructed to.
8. Unless instructed by a top, any previous loads taken should remain n the hole to provide lubrication for the next top(s). Only shower areas that are required or where this will be physically off putting for the next top.
9. During breeding, the position is always designated by the top, e.g - lying on back, stomach, all fours, against a wall etc. The breeding process is dicated by the top for the enjoyment of the top. Remain in the required position until the goal is achieved - receiving the seed.
10. The bottom must show gratitude to the top once the seed is received. As stated before, this would start by falling to the floor and cleaning the tops cock of any remaining seed. Thank the top. If you are in a foreign country, learn basic phrases such as "Si, Senor", "Gracias, Senor". Use them often. Without the need for specifically telling them, let them know that they are the dominant party and that you are thankful.

[FunCheerSlut]

Why do we attempt to codify something as natural as sex? Dogs don't have a code of conduct for fucking...why do we need one? Am I missing something?

If people want or expect a specific type of interaction then I would think that would be left to the institution or the bricks and mortar facility to codify the rules of their membership. Humans would then have to find a corresponding "club" that promotes their shared ideals. Otherwise, it's sex and whatever happens, happens.

[badubydo]

If a bottom tells a top to stop,  and the top does not. At that point it is no longer consensual. 

 

I'm sorry but this shitty way of thinking that a sub/bottom must not ever tell a top to stop and to not pull out is ridiculous. 

Stop means stop. 

[VersGuyAnon]

3 hours ago, Chuckybb said:

For some time I have been thinking about a "code of conduct" for bottoms or submissives. In some way, this might hark back to the days of the pre-aids leather / S&M comminity in places like NYC, but this is not based on any type of fetish wear or leather scene. Purely, in my view as a submissive bottom, where I think my priorities lie. I would be interested in knowing if any Tops/Dominants want to add their perspective or "Code" to this or if any other bottoms/submissives want to add or comment. These are purely my thoughts and are based on my belief that a bottom must always submit to the wishes and desires of their top/dominant before their own needs. This is about putting their top first and any sexual gratification or satisfaction that the bottom recieves is secondary to that of the top.

1. A bottom must always submit to their top/dominant on demand.
2. It is purely the decision of the top to use protection or not. The bottom cannot refuse either protected or unprotected sex as this is not their decision. A bottom can take prep to avoid HIV infection, but the utlimate decision is made by the top. In my experience, I have had tops use protection to begin with and then remove the condom later on to release their load naturally.
3. When a top has engaged, e.g "docked" or entered the bottom, the bottom cannot halt the process until the top has either came or decided to stop. The bottom must remain in receipt mode as long as the process takes and work hard to bring the top to climax. The reward for the hard work of the bottom in remaining in this position is the receiving of the tops seed. Once bred and the top pulls out, the bottom may leave the area/situation unless the top has specifically stated otherwise.
4. If in a sauna/darkroom or other adult place where vision is restricted, when an unseen top enters the bottom then again, the bottom is in receipt mode. 3, above still appies.
5. If the top has decided that the bottom is to be shared with other tops, then the bottom must remain in receipt mode until all the tops have climaxed or have decided that the event is over.
6. Where possible, the bottom should orally clean the tops cock after receiving the load. This ensures that all of the seed is taken and as a mark of respect and gratitude for the top.
7. Again, in a group sex situation, where another bottom is in reciept mode to one or more tops, any other bottoms in the vicinity should assist the bottom, never hinder. This can be done by stimulating the bottom by kissing or securing their arms/head whilst the process continues. Never try and engage with the active top during this process unless instructed to.
8. Unless instructed by a top, any previous loads taken should remain n the hole to provide lubrication for the next top(s). Only shower areas that are required or where this will be physically off putting for the next top.
9. During breeding, the position is always designated by the top, e.g - lying on back, stomach, all fours, against a wall etc. The breeding process is dicated by the top for the enjoyment of the top. Remain in the required position until the goal is achieved - receiving the seed.
10. The bottom must show gratitude to the top once the seed is received. As stated before, this would start by falling to the floor and cleaning the tops cock of any remaining seed. Thank the top. If you are in a foreign country, learn basic phrases such as "Si, Senor", "Gracias, Senor". Use them often. Without the need for specifically telling them, let them know that they are the dominant party and that you are thankful.

I have to say I'm oozing precum, having read through this. 

I'm perhaps an odd one out in that I don't like to suck (for a couple of reasons), but otherwise I concur with pretty much everything else. There's a guy i run into at the sauna who, on a few occasions recently, pushed in while I was working on a guy's cock and taken over. It really pisses me off.

Re 5 & 8: Last Sunday I was being fucked in the darkroom by a guy and another guy was up close watching. As soon as the first guy bred me, he passed me to the other guy, who grabbed me by the hips and slid in, then dumped his load in me too. I kept as much of those loads (and one I took earlier) in me until the following day. 

Although I appreciate not all bottoms want it, my focus is getting as many loads in me as possible. This obviously means pleasing tops as much as possible. Ultimately, I'm there to please, to the extent they are happy shooting their loads inside a very hungry hole.    

[VersGuyAnon]

10 minutes ago, badubydo said:

If a bottom tells a top to stop,  and the top does not. At that point it is no longer consensual. 

 

I'm sorry but this shitty way of thinking that a sub/bottom must not ever tell a top to stop and to not pull out is ridiculous. 

Stop means stop. 

Having just replied to the original thread, I do agree that stop means stop and no means no. At times when the top might be too big or too thick to be comfortable, I try to keep letting him fuck me, but ultimately I'll move away (with no objection from the top) if it becomes too much. There's one thing in terms of horny role play and then another in terms of reality. 

[LetsPOZBreed]

I think this code is written for a very specific type of set-up which not everyone is into - so not really a good one for the rest of us to follow.

There has to be a mutual level of respect and consent involved in any play.  No top is entitled to my goods...I give it over willingly with trust - and I reserve the right to take that back if that trust is broken.  Any top that doesn't understand that before we start is not starting with me at all...no further questions asked.

I say that every connection is different, so what works for one guy may need to be tweaked slightly for another.  Further still, some connections may require a full rethink.  

[BootmanLA]

I think there is so, so much wrong with this entire post that I could write a book detailing it, but I'll spare everyone that horror.

Underlying the entire post is an outlook akin to misogyny - that the receptive partner (ie the bottom, which for heteros is the female role) is inferior to the insertive partner (aka the top, or the "real man"), and as such must defer to the insertive partner's desires/wants. Because of course the top is a "real" man.

Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. 

Insertive partners need to remember that if there weren't any receptive ones, they'd be fucking their hands to get off.

Normally I'd go into great detail about consent and how it must be obtained - and can be withdrawn at any time - but that's already been at least briefly addressed. What the OP is describing is someone who wants the right to rape without consequence.

Now - as the script for a "pretend" scene, willingly entered into by a bottom, sure - overall, I'm sure many (if not all) bottoms would be turned on by the idea of submitting this completely for sex to someone else's control. But it's a scene, not a way of life. Anyone who confuses those two probably isn't mature enough for actual sex.