Administrators rawTOP Posted January 31, 2010 Administrators Report Posted January 31, 2010 Click here to see original blog post on Toxic Twinks... Around the time that I started doing the inverview with the young cumdump, I got the following email from a guy who just wants to be identified as a 29 year old in California: "How goes it? Just wanted to write in real quick and say how much I love your blog. Chaser here, too. Started when I was 19. Culminated in a gangbang at a bathhouse when I was 22 in which I took over 20 loads - all anonymously. To be honest, haven't been tested since then. Don't know if I'm still poz or neg or what. But I can hardly turn down a load, and love giving them also. 29 here and love breeding younger guys too. Dump a load in to twinks at least 2-3 times a week. Again, just wanted to write and say how hot I think your blog is and how cool it is to read guys doing, today, what I was doing when I was in college :)" I knew that I wanted to find out more about this guy, so I asked him if he would do a similar interview. He emphatically agreed saying, "I love talking about it with fellow guys that understand and are in to it " First thing, give me a little introduction of yourself for my readers, like your stats, sexual interests, anything else interesting and unique we should know about you. Secondly, tell us about how, why, when you got into barebacking. "As for stats, just turned 29 exactly a month ago. I'm 6'0'', 190, brown hair and eyes, mixed race (3/4 white, 1/4 hawaiian), 7.5c and pretty thick. As for sexual interests - just about anything, apart from scat, blood and paid. Love groups, bb, ws, gloryholes, anonymous scenes, taking pics and vids, roleplay, public sex, exhibitionism, voyeurism. I don't do drugs, though, so no PnP. I work in the IT field. The very first time I got fucked, it was bareback. But it wasn't overtly bareback, really, which is to say it just kind of happened that way rather than was purposefully intended to be that way. At least, as far as I was concerned. I was 16 and it was with a neighbor who was about 35. I ran in to him out on the street, walking his dog in the middle of the night, as I was stumbling home drunk from a party. He offered to let me sober up at his place so that I wouldn't get busted by my parents and eventually was all over me and ended up fucking and cumming in me. I didn't do anything else with anyone until I went in to the military after high school, but by that point had become super paranoid about STDs so always did stuff safe. Even one time when I sucked some guys dick at an adult bookstore during a weekend liberty from base, I was freaked out for the next few weeks thinking I'd caught something. So I was pretty hardcore in to condoms for another year after that. Plus, I was super paranoid being in the military and so didn't have much sex anyways. At 19, I was still in the military but stationed in CA. And I had some independence, living with some friends instead of in military housing. So I was spending a lot of time online looking for guys. The first time I bb'ed at this point, it was with a guy who lived really close and actually worked at the same base I was stationed at (he was a civilian, though). He picked me up and took me to his place and fucked me without a condom. I remember thinking how odd that was but didn't say anything about it or ask him to stop. What was noticeably different, however, was that I didn't get all that freaked out by it. Not even afterwards. So it didn't turn me on fiercely, but didn't bother me much, either. Shortly after that, I met a guy online that opened me up to a lot of stuff. He loved having me come fuck him, but didn't top. So, instead, he'd invite guys over to fuck me after I got done fucking him. He was about 30 or so and really dug having some 19yo military guy around that was so up for trying out just about anything. In fact, one night he hosted an orgy at his place and invited me to it and I fucked about 3 guys that night and got fucked by 4 or 5. All bareback. I still didn't really get that bareback was this big deal or that all the guys at the party were expressly in to that and that's what they were there for. I just figured no one got around to pulling out condoms or that everyone was screened beforehand or something hehe. I was pretty clueless. It was really at that party that I first started to genuinely get turned on by having a guy cum inside me. It wasn't the cum shooting in to me so much as just the knowledge that a guy was cumming in me and having him continue fucking me to the point of cumming. It just tripped a switch in me, I guess. The previous times the guy would invite dudes over to fuck me before that orgy, it was hot and all. And always bareback. But more as a matter of routine than anything else. At that orgy, however, I really began to get turned on by cumming in guys and having guys cum in me and so I think that's really the point where I started to purposefully go out and seek giving and getting loads, rather than just happening to do so because no one got around to pulling out condoms. In fact, it was about 6 months later (had just turned 20) that I met a different guy in an AOL chat room that started to amp things up even more for me. He wasn't my usual type, but had a huge cock. At least 10''. And I'd made up my mind that day that I wanted to get fucked by the biggest dick I could find online and it was his haha. We didn't really talk about bb beforehand, but once I was at his place and we were working up to him fucking me, he started talking about it. He spend a good while playing with and rimming my ass and kept talking about how much he wanted to cum inside me. He got pretty graphic with it all and was really turning me on, and eventually I was begging him to "Breed me" and other things he was getting me to say. It hurt like hell when he fucked me and he was by far the biggest dick I'd ever taken, but I just took it nonetheless because I was so turned on. He kept talking about breeding me, filling me up, and other such stuff that I'd never really heard before but that was turning me on more and more. After he came in me and I had cum also, we chatted a bit before I left. He told me about barebackcity.com, which isn't around anymore, and said I should check it out. To give you an idea of how clueless I was still, I thought "bareback city" must actually be a physical place haha. Like a small town or something. I didn't realize it was just a hookup site (I also didn't realize what "party" meant and just figured if you liked to go to parties, you "paried" haha. And literally thought "watersports" was guys who were in to surfing and stuff. I was so naive and clueless on that stuff, yet such a hornball at the same time). Once I joined that site, though, I was hooked. About a week after I got fucked by the 10'' dick dude, I spent a whole day getting fucked by random guys. What I'd actually done was lined up a bunch of hookups for the day, and went from one guys place to another guys place, getting fucked over and over. All bareback. I spaced all the hookups out by about 45mins and just went from one place to the next. Most were from barebackcity.com, others from AOL and gay.com. If a guy would flake or I'd have some time to kill, I'd just run to the nearest Kinkos, get on one of their computers, and line up someone else. haha. So around then was the time I just started really going after BB and seeking it out and not wanting to use condoms at all. I got tested about 2 years after all that craziness (and 2 years full of even more bb) and was still neg. Kind of blew me away. But haven't been tested since then. Back then, I was still kind of making it a point to go after guys that said they were neg and play that game. But I can save the rest, including when that aspect changed, for the next e-mail I'd mentioned going to a bathhouse in my first e-mail, when I took a ton of loads. That was right after getting out of the military (I was discharged because of some sports-related injuries). But again, can save that for another e-mail if you're interested. So... there wasn't necessarily a full trigger. Just a progression in to barebacking, really. Various things that added up to it, with particular experiences really standing out." Wow.. that was quite the story! You implied that you're no longer just after the neg loads? "Thanks! I had fun reliving it and writing it out! Yeah, I no longer care about whether a guy is poz or neg. All I care about is getting the load. A couple times, I've even found myself more turned on knowing the guy was poz and wanting his load even more because of that. But, for the most part, it's more about just not caring either way. Neg, poz, unsure, whatever. I still want the load. I can't really say how many poz loads I've taken. I'd been in a couple group scenes where I've taken a few, as the younger bottom and center of attention where the whole point was to have the poz guys fuck me. And some other groups where I had guys hint that they were poz while fucking me or after they came in me. And even hooked up with guys that didn't tell me they were poz, but that I knew were through mutual friends or from having seen them online somewhere. It's not so much that I go out and actively seek poz loads. It's more that I will take just about any load from any guy I am already attracted to enough to hook up with (or sometimes even any load, no matter who the guy is, just because I'm feeling particularly slutty and want any load I can get), and have found myself even more turned on after finding out the guy is poz. Like, I already thought the guy was cute and was already arranging to hook up with him. And either before, during, or after we hook up, I find out he's poz and that just turns me on more, though I was going to hook up with him regardless. I'm hoping I'm expressing that in a way that makes sense haha." Do you remember when you first knowingly took a poz load from an openly poz guy? How did you feel before, during and after? "I do, actually. I was 22. It was from a friend of this guy I used to fuck. This guy was my age and an escort (I didn't hire him, but it's what he did for a living), and I'm assuming was negative (he said he was). We would get together quite a lot, and always flip fuck bb. I went to his place every other week or so, and would usually stay all night. Sometimes he'd even have a client over that we'd tagteam or have fuck us. But he also was friends with this other twink that was poz and who would occasionally come over to buy some weed. But we'd never fuck or anything. Just polite smalltalk. I knew he was poz before I ever met him, as my friend said something like "This cute twink friend is coming over to buy some weed. He's cute but poz." He was cute as fuck, though, and something about him being poz just turned me on. I remember the first time I met him, I kept looking at him and wondering how he became poz, running all these wild scenarios through my head, and it just turned me on immensely. He came over a couple more times (and actually, whenever I'd go hang out with my friend I'd always hope he'd be there or come by), but nothing happened. I even looked him up on an escort site, and his listing said he was poz. Though his real name was Josh, he had some cheesy porny escort name hehe. I didn't hire him though, and just kept hoping something would happen when we came across one another at my friend's. Finally, he ended up coming over one time, again to buy weed, and my friend didn't have any on him. He did arrange to go meet a client, though, and get paid in pot. So he left for an hour, and it was just me and the poz twink that stayed behind at his house. It was a bit awkward because we didn't know eachother too well, and so again mostly made smalltalk. He eventually started asking what me and my friend would do all day and night while hanging out, though. I was kind of embarrassed to tell him, thinking he wasn't in to the fact that we'd hang out and just fuck and exchange loads all day and night and occasionally have other guys over. Since he'd never participated in any of it with us - despite having been over a few times - I just assumed he wasn't the least bit in to that kind of stuff. Instead of reacting badly, though, he seemed to get a real kick out of it and once we started talking about that kind of stuff, we got way more comfortable with one another and actually started to have a fun convo. I asked him why he never joined us. He said something along the lines of, "You couldn't have your little bareback parties if i was there because I'm poz", but I just responded that I didn't care about that. He looked at me a little funny, and was like, "Oh, really?". I said, "Yeah. You're hot. I'd do it all with you". Mind you, none of this was like some pre-seduction conversation haha. It wasn't all hot and steamy in the room. Rather, we were kind of laughing and giggling while saying it all, as if just playing around and having fun. But there was clearly a bit of tension there and some truth to what we were each saying, despite the laughs and joking tones. He mentioned that Chris (the friend out getting the weed from the client) wasn't in to the poz thing, so I said back that we should have our own fun without him at some point. We ended up exchanging AIM names and cell #s, but not doing anything that day. We kept talking about it until my friend came back, though. By that point, we'd pretty much agreed we both thought one another was cute, and thought so when we first saw one another the first time he'd come over to buy weed, and wanted to hook up. We also (again, in a joking tone but with some real intent behind it) talked about how we wanted to fuck one another bb. He even mentioned he did similar things with other poz boys (spending all day and night hanging out and fucking raw), and sometimes neg guys that knew and were ok with it. Eventually, our friend came back, though, and so he ended up getting his weed and leaving, but giving me a look and mouthing, "Call me" as we said bye. I called him the very next day hehe. We just chitchatted, but neither of us brought up the bb stuff. We did talk about how we should hang out the upcoming weekend, though. He was going to Vegas with a client for a few days and so couldn't get together until he got back. While in Vegas, though, he was online all the time. I guess his client was there for a convention and so he had nothing to do during the day but sit around the hotel room (he wasn't 21 and so couldn't gamble or go out) and wait for the client to get back at night. It was during these daytime AIM conversations that we'd get all dirty. He would repeatedly ask if I really wanted to fuck bb, if I'd really let him cum in me, if I was really neg, and so on. We'd also share stories about wild shit we'd done before, and wild shit we still wanted to do. He mentioned not really having any idea who pozzed him, as he'd been doing all kinds of stuff for a couple years and so it could have been any number of people, from boyfriends to clients to total strangers or random hookups. Like me, he didn't party. Just weed. In fact, our little joke with one another is that we should get together "nP" - just the "and Play" part of the "Party and Play" thing, because we didn't do any hard drugs or party, but we still did the "and Play" portion involving hours and hours and perhaps even a couple days of just straight, raw, sex with a bunch of guys hehe. Our AIM convos were always full of things like, "I can't wait to breed you", "I can't wait for your load", "I want your poz load" and stuff like that. Pretty hot shit, actually. lol. Anyways, we set up a "date" for when he got back from Vegas, and ended up getting together at his place. He lived with a roommate who was also an escort, and also poz. A year or two older than he was, and also quite cute. I was actually the one that fucked him first, and came in him. Complete with tons of dirty talk. We took a small break after that, just watching some bb porn and going online to talk to other guys. We'd discussed possibly finding some other boys to have over during the course of the night so were feeling out prospects. A quick sidenote... at one point his roommate had a trick over. Josh and I were in the kitchen making drinks when the boy showed up, and I immediately recognized him. He was actually the ex boyfriend of another, fairly close friend. 20, super cute, and lived near me. So it was a bit awkward when he came in and we saw one another because we both knew what we were doing there. But he quickly went in to the other bedroom with the roommate to do their thing. Josh and I went back to his room, where Josh told me that boy would come over regularly, and would always leave with his roommates load in him. Josh had even fucked and cum in him once. The dude knew they were poz, and they assumed he was (though I'd never heard any mention of that, or of my friend that he was exes with being poz). It had quite an impression on me at the time, though, because I imagined all these cute guys I knew not only being in to taking or giving loads, but also possibly being poz or at least taking poz loads. Prior to that, I'd always kept my "friend life" and my "bb fuckbuddy life" separate. And actually feared what might happen if they came across one another or I ever ran in to some guy who knew what a slut I was while out with friends or something. So it was a cool moment, and a hot one. I was so turned on thinking about my friend's hot ex taking poz loads, possibly being poz, and even my friend possibly having done it all too. Back to me and Josh, though. hehe. I'd shot my load in him soon after getting to his place, but he'd had yet to cum in me or cum at all, in fact. We'd chatted with a couple guys online, and he pointed out some that he knew were poz or that he'd fucked around with before (turns out I recognized or knew a couple of them, too). We talked about possibly having some over later that night, but he wanted to fuck me first. There was no, "Are you sure you want it?" talk or anything like that. All that had been taken care of before I even showed up at his place that day. In actuality, despite how much we'd talk about the poz thing, that wasn't why we were hooking up - which is to say, I wasn't there to take his load because I wanted his poz load, and he wasn't there to fuck me because he wanted to cum in a neg guy. It was more like the poz factor was a non-issue, and we both just wanted to fuck and swap loads all night regardless of status. When we'd even bring up the poz thing or mention it, it was comparable to if we were just talking about big dicks or something. Just another detail about or aspect of a guy. It was more about the raw, marathon bareback sex, with the fact that he was poz and I was neg just being a non issue. As if we were both neg, or both poz. Granted, I definitely found myself turned on knowing I was going to get fucked by this hot poz boy. And he mentioned being turned on by knowing I was neg, knew he was poz, and that I was going to still take his load. But we didn't keep bring up the poz/neg stuff or any of that. We were just having fun. Funny enough... my first ever, known poz load is a bit anticlimactic. After this big, long story! We were playing with eachothers dicks while sitting in front of the computer looking at guys. I fingered his hole some, feeling the load I'd shot in there earlier. I'd even put my finger in his ass, pull it out, and let him suck on it. Finally, we moved from the computer to the bed, and he said he wanted to fuck me now. I was on my back, legs up, and he lubed his dick up and slid in to me. He was leaning forward and we were kissing, and after about a half dozen pumps he froze. He told me not to move either. He was so close to cumming but didn't want to yet lol. I guess he was so worked up that he hadn't even been in me for a minute and already was about to cum. It was incredibly cute and hot. "Don't move! I'm too close!" I couldn't resist, though, so started clenching my ass and moving my hips as I just smiled at him and kind of chuckled. "Fuck!! You fucker!" he half yelled/half laughed. I said, "Do it! Just do it!" and so he gave a couple quick thrusts, and started shooting his load in to me. I can't say I could feel his cum spraying in me. But I definitely felt his dick pulsing as he shot. It was awesome. He collapsed on top of me, his head on my chest, and we started giggling again. I poked fun at him for cumming so quick, and played angry at how I didn't stop moving like he asked. All very hot, but also very lighthearted. We were having tons of fun. He kept his dick in me, though, and was still fairly hard. We made out for awhile, with him on top of me like that. We made some comments back and forth about how I finally got his load and how he finally got to shoot his in me. Even a quick comment about how I could end up poz from it. We fucked a lot more that night, and even messed around with the roommate. We had 2 guys over that we found online, as well. Also, Josh and I got together probably 8 or 10 more times to have our little day-long sex sessions. I stopped meeting up with Chris because I figured he wouldn't want to get with me anymore anyways, since I'd been trading loads with his poz friend." Do you think you'll get tested soon? How do you think your life will change, sexually and otherwise, if you test poz? "Probably not. I have no real desire to or interest in getting tested. If I were to get in a relationship with someone and it mattered to them that I get tested, then I'd probably do it. I'm not naive about things and know that there are real implications to things and life couldn't help but change. That's just the reality of things. There would be health concerns, financial, social, etc. At the same time, though, I guess you could say that I've chosen to live life in a way that just involves doing what I want to do and disregarding status. I could go on and on and on about how I feel about the whole condom/HIV thing and peoples' mentalities and mindsets regarding that, as well as what we're almost conditioned to believe and think and feel about it all. How we're almost held hostage by it as well as how this insane focus on condoms!condoms!condoms! has really been, in my opinion, more detrimental than anything else. But I would imagine you're probably not interested in that, at least for your blog, so I'll skip all that stuff hehe. But I could go on and on about what I feel the deeper reasons are that barebacking has become so popular and how much of that came out of the obsession with safe sex and condoms. I know there are a lot of insanely fun things, as well as really awesome people, I never would have come across had I been obsessed with status. I simply disregard it - my own and others. And, I also make it quite obvious in my online profiles as well as the manner in which I speak to others that 1) I don't know my status 2) I engage in risky behavior. So, guys I hook up with know it's possible I could be poz already. Sex partners, at least. My "friend and coworker" associates have no clue hehe." More...
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