The Fixer Mentality ?🤔

[Carlos1881]

So I recently read about a well-known comedian who had a light-bulb moment that he had a fixer mentality sort of like a white knight, often gravitating towards those he can rescue in relationships personally and professionally  does this connect with  you and do you think it is the  result of some events you  experience in early childhood ?

Hope this topic is ok for the moderators

Look forward to hearing your thoughts

Have a great weekend
 

Carlos 🙂

 

Edited May 12, 2023 by Carlos1881

[cheatingjock]

I feel like that sometimes in friendships. Try to prevent them from feeling pain/hurt so sacrifice myself so they don’t. 
 

in my case prob attachment issues young and reenforced later. 

[badjujuboy]

@Carlos1881Funny you should use the “white knight” wording.  I just had that realization with a family member and that exact phrase came to me. I’m a good position and have helped out with some financial issues for a family member until I found out that throwing good money after bad doesn’t help and only pisses me off… so I’ve decided to spend the money on myself and enjoy it. I’ll be sending postcards and pics from my trip to them. 

Edited May 13, 2023 by badjujuboy

[PigBoyDallas]

I sometimes work as a dancer at a gay strip club in town and get hit on by guys who want to do more than get a lap dance. They seem to thing I’m a wounded bird that needs to be saved or to set me up in an “arrangement”. I’m flattered but also a bit pissed as it’s condescending, like I need “saving” on account of what I do. If they got to know me as a person they’d find out I’m about to get my bachelors degree. And I get it. Some of the guys there play into that, accepting cash and gifts. They have it harder than I do and I don’t judge. But yeah, the “white knight” or savior complex isn’t a good look on most guys.

[akula]

I equate it to the daddy in me, I've always been the one to help when a friend is in need or a boy is kind of "lost". It's bitten me in the ass more then once though.

[Cravetoxic22]

I once was so smitten with a guy who was still not over a breakup with his ex earlier that year. I thought, foolishly, that I could offer him enough emotional support that he'd heal from his breakup and start loving me back. We spent over half a year together, he cried in my car, we were nearly inseparable, but he never got over his ex. It finally ended with him telling me that it wasn't gonna happen and that I deserved to move on and find someone who can give me what I want. He is a really good guy, but trying to be a fixer for him wasn't something that was ever going to work. I hope y'all can learn from my mistake. If a guy isn't over his ex it's not going to happen, at least not the way you'd want in my experience.