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Fears are finally gone


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I have been dabbling with cumdumping for several years now and never fully accepted my role.  For some reason I always felt guilty or ashamed after whoring myself.  Well finally the planets have all lined up apparently and I have finally shook this every persistent feeling of remorse.  I am finally feeling good, proud and accomplished after taking annon loads.  And more importantly I am wanting more when its over.  It is like a switch just flipped in me overnight, Has anyone else experienced this sudden extremly quick feeling of enlightenment?

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Can you identify any particular event, observation, or realization that brought about this change of perspective? I imagine there are many in a similar situation who might benefit from the insight. I congratulate you on your accomplishment.

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8 hours ago, happynleather said:

I have been dabbling with cumdumping for several years now and never fully accepted my role.  For some reason I always felt guilty or ashamed after whoring myself.  Well finally the planets have all lined up apparently and I have finally shook this every persistent feeling of remorse.  I am finally feeling good, proud and accomplished after taking annon loads.  And more importantly I am wanting more when its over.  It is like a switch just flipped in me overnight, Has anyone else experienced this sudden extremly quick feeling of enlightenment?

Yes, exactly the same for me! Earlier this year that switch flipped and I decided i just wanted as much raw cock and cum in me as possible. I'd always disliked darkrooms, but that changed too. Now, I'll happily get on my knees for ages, arse in the air or to suck random cocks, before backing onto them.  

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16 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Can you identify any particular event, observation, or realization that brought about this change of perspective? I imagine there are many in a similar situation who might benefit from the insight. I congratulate you on your accomplishment.

I do believe so.  I am a single father who has raised my son totally alone since he was 13 months old.  He is now grown and for the first time is in a very serious relationship.  I think i always felt guilty that if i was taking time for myself then i was taking time away from him.   He was the number one priority for me.  Now for the first time in many years i can live for me.   

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It’s a progression.  When I started taking anonymous loads at bathhouses I would get caught up in the moment.  Afterwards I would feel guilty and ashamed.  I would then play safe for a few visits but the urge for bare would build up and then I would give in again and repeat the cycle.  Over the course of a few years the guilt and shame decreased. Then one day I took several loads and had no guilt or regret.  After that day I never used a condom again.

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