I'm obsessing over letting my inner manslut loose

[mrbrdr]

I'm ex-catholic, ex-conservative and first-gen immigrant to the west. I was raised to always have my button done up and that's mostly who I am. I'm a boring professional type and you wouldn't even notice me in the street. I still live in a close knit Christian immigrant  community where everyone assumes I'm a 'God fearing Christian'.

But that's not at all who I am. I used to be a condom n*zi and wouldn't even watch bareback porn. But another top convinced me to try it out a few years ago. Since I bred my first bottom bareback, I've only used a condom once. And I don't think I ever will again. I go through long periods of celibacy and then I will finally get so pent up that I will go look for what I really like darkroom anonymous bareback sex with slutty bottoms. The sluttier the better. Especially when they've been collecting loads, that makes so horny. 

I have so many fantasies that I feel guilty about pursuing. I want to fuck proper cumdumps, sloppy holes. I want to be sucked off by strangers. I want to dominate sub sluts. I also want to be humiliated by bratty dom bottoms. I want someone to whore out my cock.  etc etc. I even want to bottom again, I haven't bottomed in over 7 years. And never raw.

I want to be sleazy but there's something holding me back. There's the fear of STI's. There's the fear that this might be a suppressed sex addiction and I'll really go off the rails. There's fear that this is something i'm doing as some kind of self punishment. I'm so afraid of getting disfigured from STIs.

But I also know it's going to be a big scandal when it all comes out. I don't necessarily want to hide but I also don't want to advertise it to family, friends or colleagues. 

I'd appreciate any advice or past experience you might have . 

 

 

[MuscledHorse]

First, you are being overly worried about STI's. Every sport has its hazards, STI's are the hazards of sport fucking. Get  tested frequently and treated if you test positive for one and you'll be fine. I have over 400 sex partners a year and always wind up getting a couple infections a year. If you're planning to bottom, getting on PrEP to prevent HIV is a good idea as well, though HIV is less of a risk for the top than us sloppy pig bottoms.

As for sex addiction. This is a made up unscientific concept that is built on the baseless religious ideas of virginity, abstinence and sexual monogamy. Their reasoning goes something like this: "You can't be sexually monogamous? You must not be able to be satisfied and thus have an addiction that needs treating." Just because you are sexually prolific--be it masturbation, toy play, hook ups, etc--does not make you an addict. On the level playing field anything can be an addiction, from alcohol to amazon prime shopping. but the clinical definition of addition only kicks in when whatever you are doing interferes with or damages the rest of your life, like your job, your friendships and so forth. If you are still holding down a job, have friends and a relationship and paying you bills, you are fine. And you can have all the sex and a relationship too. I am very lucky to have a husband who plays a lot himself, but he encourages my much stronger promiscuous appetites and even does camera work on some of my porn shoots.

IN the end, see the unscientific religious dogma for what it is in all its guilt and shame that it has beat into people practically from birth, and give yourself permission to be the Lust filled pig males are at our core. It's part of or DNA programming. Indulge and enjoy!

[VersGuyAnon]

1 hour ago, MuscledHorse said:

First, you are being overly worried about STI's. Every sport has its hazards, STI's are the hazards of sport fucking. Get  tested frequently and treated if you test positive for one and you'll be fine. I have over 400 sex partners a year and always wind up getting a couple infections a year. If you're planning to bottom, getting on PrEP to prevent HIV is a good idea as well, though HIV is less of a risk for the top than us sloppy pig bottoms.

As for sex addiction. This is a made up unscientific concept that is built on the baseless religious ideas of virginity, abstinence and sexual monogamy. Their reasoning goes something like this: "You can't be sexually monogamous? You must not be able to be satisfied and thus have an addiction that needs treating." Just because you are sexually prolific--be it masturbation, toy play, hook ups, etc--does not make you an addict. On the level playing field anything can be an addiction, from alcohol to amazon prime shopping. but the clinical definition of addition only kicks in when whatever you are doing interferes with or damages the rest of your life, like your job, your friendships and so forth. If you are still holding down a job, have friends and a relationship and paying you bills, you are fine. And you can have all the sex and a relationship too. I am very lucky to have a husband who plays a lot himself, but he encourages my much stronger promiscuous appetites and even does camera work on some of my porn shoots.

IN the end, see the unscientific religious dogma for what it is in all its guilt and shame that it has beat into people practically from birth, and give yourself permission to be the Lust filled pig males are at our core. It's part of or DNA programming. Indulge and enjoy!

The only thing I'd add to this (which is very well said, MuscleHorse) is that although the risk is lower, there is still a risk of contracting HIV when topping. It's definitely worth getting onto PrEP.

[BadBob214]

Blimey, I read the OP and had loads to say, but the previous two replies have said almost everything I was going to say. If I was to add anything, it would that you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed about what   you want, feel and desire within yourself. 

Edited June 14, 2023 by BeardyBearBob

[PigBoyDallas]

You're a top. Just start fucking willing bottoms raw. There's no shortage of bottoms who will GLADLY take your loads. Get out of your head and start fucking!

[faggot4play]

2 minutes ago, PigBoyDallas said:

You're a top. Just start fucking willing bottoms raw. There's no shortage of bottoms who will GLADLY take your loads. Get out of your head and start fucking!

well said......and as the very willing bottom i am, i'd say please pull your cock out and let me suck the bs out of your head.....i promise i will.

[mrbrdr]

On 6/14/2023 at 6:48 AM, MuscledHorse said:

First, you are being overly worried about STI's. Every sport has its hazards, STI's are the hazards of sport fucking. Get  tested frequently and treated if you test positive for one and you'll be fine. I have over 400 sex partners a year and always wind up getting a couple infections a year. If you're planning to bottom, getting on PrEP to prevent HIV is a good idea as well, though HIV is less of a risk for the top than us sloppy pig bottoms.

As for sex addiction. This is a made up unscientific concept that is built on the baseless religious ideas of virginity, abstinence and sexual monogamy. Their reasoning goes something like this: "You can't be sexually monogamous? You must not be able to be satisfied and thus have an addiction that needs treating." Just because you are sexually prolific--be it masturbation, toy play, hook ups, etc--does not make you an addict. On the level playing field anything can be an addiction, from alcohol to amazon prime shopping. but the clinical definition of addition only kicks in when whatever you are doing interferes with or damages the rest of your life, like your job, your friendships and so forth. If you are still holding down a job, have friends and a relationship and paying you bills, you are fine. And you can have all the sex and a relationship too. I am very lucky to have a husband who plays a lot himself, but he encourages my much stronger promiscuous appetites and even does camera work on some of my porn shoots.

IN the end, see the unscientific religious dogma for what it is in all its guilt and shame that it has beat into people practically from birth, and give yourself permission to be the Lust filled pig males are at our core. It's part of or DNA programming. Indulge and enjoy!

Thanks this is great. I always imagine the worst case scenario of sti's. Right when I was getting over the covid mindfuck monkeypox started happening and that just made me even more worried. What you said makes sense but I should mention I've been addicted to alcohol before, and gambling and internet. But I think I'm just getting in my head. Great advice,

[mrbrdr]

10 hours ago, PigBoyDallas said:

You're a top. Just start fucking willing bottoms raw. There's no shortage of bottoms who will GLADLY take your loads. Get out of your head and start fucking!

Haha just do it