Gay sex videos and "exposure" (long & not sexual)

[PozToxVersPig]

I've recently become much less concerned with having videos taken during fuck sessions, as well as posting them online.  I really like it--and video is good advertising! 🙂  My face is never featured, and I definitely respect the boundaries of anyone participating.  That said, I have a substantial number of tattoos on my body which are all custom and incredibly distinctive.  Anyone that knows me would know what they look like and would identify me instantly based on the ink alone.   

So why wouldn't I just make and post videos that featured all of me - I'm not trying to be a porn star, but what harm is there in being able to see who I am?  If you think even more simply, why wouldn't every profile photo on sites like this, BBRT, etc. not feature a face pic?

Assuming I were "discovered" ---

Could my employer terminate me for having these types of videos?  Yes.  I imagine they'd face a pretty significant discrimination lawsuit - because what's the difference between someone having a channel about making cupcakes and me having a channel about having sex?  Both are legal.

Could it create professional challenges?  Sure, among my company colleagues as well as customers/partners/etc., this may shift their opinion about me and that opinion could stifle collaboration, or establish my "reputation."  If I were to apply for jobs, it could be used to disqualify me I imagine.

What would I say to my family and friends about this?  Most families don't have open, direct conversations about sexuality and this level of visibility would cause loved ones to either crawl immediately into their shell or trigger rare types of conversations.  

"Sex work," "pornography," and those associated with it (even the most vanilla versions) still endure substantial stigma and must accept that will be part of their life.  HIV positive people endure similar.  So even though it's not right that, it is reality.  

But why am I afraid of talking about these parts of my life?  I've been open about being HIV positive for years, but do I talk about being off-meds?  No, not yet.  Just an example.

So, if I'm engaged in consent-based activities and video them because I like to and don't care about sharing with others who might enjoy it, what's the problem?  Very few people who aren't in my gay-tribe would even ever encounter it, unless it was sent to "out" me.  But what am I being outed for?

This was triggered by a recent hookup - he liked being video'd and wanted it posted, etc. but gave a 10-minute tutorial first about the angles that would hide his incredibly generic tattoo so he couldn't be recognized.  Literally, there are probably 10,000 people in Denver alone with the same tattoo that are also gay....(compared to tattoos like mine).  And this was a vanilla hookup -- me getting my dick sucked and me fucking this guy.  But as much as he wanted to be recorded and to show-off, the fear of being discovered for exploring his sexual likes was terrifying to him.

This seems so similar to me being an open barebacker and unashamedly having sex with POZ guys while these things were still VERY [banned word] and maligned by the gay and straight community alike.  The early 2000s-2010s were a very different time.  

The, I let myself be slut shamed and, in some groups, ostracized.  I relied on my believe that truly loving people wouldn't care and would seek to understand over time.  Maybe starting to talk about being "off meds" and not worrying about my online identity being connected to my real one is the next way I'll step out a bit in front of what cultural norms accept while I wait for everyone else to chill out and let people live.

(P.S.  I'm also thinking about how hot it would be to have a video of me at Cumunion this weekend - or videos - and to not be concerned about framing things such my anonynimoty was maintained.  I can't make that decision for others but I can make it for myself.)

[PozToxVersPig]

If you at some point overcame any reservations to being super visible in online sex videos or similar, what got you over the hump of doing so?  What did you face in doing so?  How did you handle it?

[BootmanLA]

With respect only to your point about a discrimination lawsuit:

From a federal law perspective: there's only an issue for them if they fired you for a reason protected by law, ie race, religion, national origin, sex, etc. There's no prohibition against firing someone for his activities outside of the workplace. And they don't have to be consistent about that.

Some states might have a prohibition on employers taking action on this basis, but I'm not aware of any off the top of my head.

[Poz50something]

23 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

With respect only to your point about a discrimination lawsuit:

From a federal law perspective: there's only an issue for them if they fired you for a reason protected by law, ie race, religion, national origin, sex, etc. There's no prohibition against firing someone for his activities outside of the workplace. And they don't have to be consistent about that.

Some states might have a prohibition on employers taking action on this basis, but I'm not aware of any off the top of my head.

from what I understand, it's well within the law for a private enterprise to require its employees to behave in a certain manner, to have a morality clause on their contract, or for a member of the judiciary to be seen photographed supporting political causes such as Tibetan independence....

[BootmanLA]

15 hours ago, Poz50something said:

from what I understand, it's well within the law for a private enterprise to require its employees to behave in a certain manner, to have a morality clause on their contract, or for a member of the judiciary to be seen photographed supporting political causes such as Tibetan independence....

Private enterprises and judges, of course, have separate standards for behavior - and of course that's mostly because judges, being government employees/elected officials can only be disciplined by the government and that automatically implicates First Amendment issues.

But yes, in general, in almost every state, private employers can take into account activities and statements by their employees, EVEN IF a statement or action was protected from *government* action by the First Amendment. In other words, if John Doe burns his American flag at a rally, the government can't legally arrest him or charge him with anything, but if his non-government employer BigCorp finds out, they're free to fire him for that. 

The same goes for appearing in porn.