Why are we hating each other?

[PozToxVersPig]

A guy came up on my BBRT - he looked sexy, so I sent him a message.  TBH, between BBRT, NKP, and other platforms, the geolocation isn't something I rely on.

Then I got this response.  I tried to be kind.  So, I sent this and blocked him.

I don't get why we're fighting each other.

-----------------------
 

this is the rudest thing ever.  I can't even imagine what would make you write this.  Sad for you.
This site isn't perfect - I wasn't trying to make you succumb to something.

i can't imagine who would actually want to be around you.  

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: WellNell
Date: 09-17-24 21:39
Subject: RE:fuck!
Message: Super fucking duper guy 613 MILES AWAY. WHAT THE FUCK HAS IT GOT TO DO WITH ME YOU FUCKING IDIOT. 
FUCK OFF BOTHER SOMEONE IN YOUR OWN ZIPCODE, YA CUNT

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: PozToxVersPig
Date: Sep 17, 2024 11:24 AM
Subject:
Message: I really like your profile.  poz vers dude here off meds.  take a lot of anon loads, fuck anon hole.

love getting dirty loads when possible and breeding really slutty bottoms; vid is hot for posting, very verbal poz talk

tele = bbturnerslut got more vids and pics.  hope your day is going great.

[BootmanLA]

I agree geolocation isn't perfect, though it's *generally* accurate for guys not using a VPN (and BBRT blocks my VPN (Nord), so I can't use that site while VPN'ing anyway).

My general rule, though, is to ignore profiles from people who have geolocation off AND who fail to list a location in their profile. To me, that's a sign someone has zero intention of actually meeting up, and is just looking for some kind of cybersex.

When a location IS specified, and the person is hundreds of miles away in a location I have no plans to visit, I try to start off nice - thanking for the interest shown - and if the conversation continues, I generally discourage things moving in "that" direction.

I only get rude when I get a message from someone who clearly has NOT read my profile (or didn't comprehend what I wrote). 

[Davidc]

Or just tap back and say “OK, I’ll put you down as a maybe”

 

on a more serious note don’t let him live rent free in your head - he’s absolutely not worth it !

[SomewhereonNeptune]

On 9/17/2024 at 5:56 PM, PozToxVersPig said:

A guy came up on my BBRT - he looked sexy, so I sent him a message.  TBH, between BBRT, NKP, and other platforms, the geolocation isn't something I rely on.

Then I got this response.  I tried to be kind.  So, I sent this and blocked him.

I don't get why we're fighting each other.

-----------------------

Totally feel you. I got an unsolicited message on NKP that went like this:

Let your black son dominate, fuck and breed you.

Pretty blunt. And rude. Absolutely nothing in my profile would indicate any interest in that direction since I'm listed as "Top" for preference. So I responded:

Ummm...how about no?

A week goes by and I get a tirade from him -- on a completely different site so that I'd need to block him in even more places -- that called me "old", "ugly" and a "racist" because I declined any interest. Remember, he reached out to me, so this is purely very sour grapes. Just a response asking to be schooled. So I sent this and blocked him. I was kind but direct:

So let's be clear. I didn't block you because you're black, so you can drop the racist crap right here because I don't care what color anyone is.
I blocked you because your first message was assuming that I wanted my "black son" to "dominate, fuck and breed" me. First, I'm not a bottom, and to assume that's going to be a good approach is a bad idea. Maybe not lead off with that. Second, you are the ONLY person who brought up race in the messages. Race play to me is ugly. Period. I didn't see anything otherwise to suggest I'd be interested in continuing with you, and after your email on Adam, I stand by that choice. 
No one owes you an explanation if they aren't interested. If you're butthurt because you're blocked, it's your issue not mine. And I'm glad you showed this side of you. And if I blocked you, it's because I won't encourage ugly behavior.
Good luck in life, but let's not cross paths again.

I think people are "fighting" each other because they became keyboard warriors who forgot how to be civil to another person. (Still shaking my head). Maybe I should have closed with "Who's your daddy now?" 🤣

On 9/17/2024 at 8:01 PM, BootmanLA said:

I only get rude when I get a message from someone who clearly has NOT read my profile (or didn't comprehend what I wrote). 

Exactly, man. If I don't miss my guess, you're pretty clear in your profile so that people won't get it confused if they read. Maybe that's the problem. In a world of left-and-right swiping, nobody reads.

[BootmanLA]

18 hours ago, SomewhereonNeptune said:

Exactly, man. If I don't miss my guess, you're pretty clear in your profile so that people won't get it confused if they read. Maybe that's the problem. In a world of left-and-right swiping, nobody reads.

Exactly. On one of the "apps" the other day, a guy from my general area (ie within 60ish miles, it is what it is down here) messaged me. The conversation was pretty disjointed (we'd leave messages for each other, and each took a while to respond, I get it), but he wanted to know what city I lived in, whether I was single or married, what I'm looking for, and whether I'm a top or bottom - ALL OF WHICH are clearly indicated in my profile. And after EACH of the first three questions, I responded "As it says in my profile, I'm...."

By the fourth one I had just about had it. I asked him "You really didn't read a single word in my profile, did you?" He answered with "Yes" and a smiley emoji, and that's when I lost it. I told him "I'm just wondering why you keep asking questions that are clearly answered there. Where I'm located, relationship status, what I'm looking for, role preferences - all of that's in my profile, and yet you keep asking as though it all went over your head. Maybe some reading comprehension classes might help?"

I'm sure that torched whatever opportunity for fun might have existed, but honestly, someone that fucking lazy is almost certainly a shitty fuck. 

[SomewhereonNeptune]

11 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

Exactly. On one of the "apps" the other day, a guy from my general area (ie within 60ish miles, it is what it is down here) messaged me. The conversation was pretty disjointed (we'd leave messages for each other, and each took a while to respond, I get it), but he wanted to know what city I lived in, whether I was single or married, what I'm looking for, and whether I'm a top or bottom - ALL OF WHICH are clearly indicated in my profile. And after EACH of the first three questions, I responded "As it says in my profile, I'm...."

By the fourth one I had just about had it. I asked him "You really didn't read a single word in my profile, did you?" He answered with "Yes" and a smiley emoji, and that's when I lost it. I told him "I'm just wondering why you keep asking questions that are clearly answered there. Where I'm located, relationship status, what I'm looking for, role preferences - all of that's in my profile, and yet you keep asking as though it all went over your head. Maybe some reading comprehension classes might help?"

I'm sure that torched whatever opportunity for fun might have existed, but honestly, someone that fucking lazy is almost certainly a shitty fuck. 

One of the "apps" seems so unmoderated that easily 90% of the profiles are just bots and it's like a game of whack-a-mole to get them flagged. The remainder seem to be Nigerian 419 scams -- it's pretty obvious when you look at a hookup site like Adam4Adam that a profile seeking romance, a relationship, life partner, yada yada, is going to wind up being totally fake. They're sleep inducing now so a few minutes of those and I'm drifting off. But I get the same low-effort profiles that haven't bothered to read or are totally illiterate in a Beavis & Butthead sort of way. So I'm less inclined to think I'll find anything meaningful via swiping left-and-right of low-effort profiles that tell me nothing.

And paunchy, balding guys in their late 50's are not the 'new black'. 🤣 I just treat it as something for comedic effect now.

[BootmanLA]

1 minute ago, SomewhereonNeptune said:

And paunchy, balding guys in their late 50's are not the 'new black'. 🤣 I just treat it as something for comedic effect now.

Everyone has his own preferences, of course, but I still find that kind of dismissal offensive. Just say no thanks, and move on, instead of acting offended that ermahgawd someone OLD hit on me. 

[SomewhereonNeptune]

37 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

Everyone has his own preferences, of course, but I still find that kind of dismissal offensive. Just say no thanks, and move on, instead of acting offended that ermahgawd someone OLD hit on me. 

Dude? I was describing myself. I'm the paunchy, bald guy in his late 50's. I've lived that many trips around the sun that I think I can self-describe as not Adonis nor do I claim to be. I can be pretty self-deprecating.

But if I'm ever asked about cock-size, I do a great Craig Shoemaker "The Lovemaster" imitation. (Lookup that one on Youtube for gits and shiggles). 🤣

Edited Thursday at 01:57 AM by SomewhereonNeptune

[ellentonboy]

8 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

Exactly. On one of the "apps" the other day, a guy from my general area (ie within 60ish miles, it is what it is down here) messaged me. The conversation was pretty disjointed (we'd leave messages for each other, and each took a while to respond, I get it), but he wanted to know what city I lived in, whether I was single or married, what I'm looking for, and whether I'm a top or bottom - ALL OF WHICH are clearly indicated in my profile. And after EACH of the first three questions, I responded "As it says in my profile, I'm...."

By the fourth one I had just about had it. I asked him "You really didn't read a single word in my profile, did you?" He answered with "Yes" and a smiley emoji, and that's when I lost it. I told him "I'm just wondering why you keep asking questions that are clearly answered there. Where I'm located, relationship status, what I'm looking for, role preferences - all of that's in my profile, and yet you keep asking as though it all went over your head. Maybe some reading comprehension classes might help?"

I'm sure that torched whatever opportunity for fun might have existed, but honestly, someone that fucking lazy is almost certainly a shitty fuck. 

Did you ever think of shutting up and letting people express their opinions before you try to prove them wrong? It might make some posters more willing to “share” before you get on your high horse  and start judging people?

Don ‘t think that your constant correcting of people has not been  brought to the attention of those above you?

You work for free, and I respect that… but  I know of a number of posters who are going to the OP of this forum and tell him either you go or we go. Be  careful Missy!

 

[SomewhereonNeptune]

7 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

Did you ever think of shutting up and letting people express their opinions before you try to prove them wrong? It might make some posters more willing to “share” before you get on your high horse  and start judging people?

Don ‘t think that your constant correcting of people has not been  brought to the attention of those above you?

You work for free, and I respect that… but  I know of a number of posters who are going to the OP of this forum and tell him either you go or we go. Be  careful Missy!

This. 👍🏼 Thanks @ellentonboy for pointing this out. I don't want to hijack this thread, but as an LGBTQIAS++ community, we're diverse. That means that all of us have different views, perspectives and experiences that formed those views. @PozToxVersPig's original point was not getting why we're fighting each other. Enabling keyboard warriors isn't the answer. Tolerance is.

There's already so much infighting among factions of the LGBTQIAS++ community that outsiders view us as being divided. It'd be nice to see us as a more united community that can occasionally have differences of "opinions". 

Edited Thursday at 02:14 PM by SomewhereonNeptune

[Alias]

The apps are dehumanizing garbage by design. The majority of them are set up like you’re at a market browsing the available products. That encourages real shitty behavior. 
 

I’ve been hooking up more than usual lately and it has made me miss the sex parties and dark rooms and bathhouses and even the ABS/AVS options.  The guys there are DTF without suffering from the induced ADHD of online hunting/shopping. And you can meet great people and have good conversation in real time. 
 

I blame the apps for a lot of it. When you meet in person you are usually mindful of etiquette, but that goes out the window on Grindr et al. Once an interaction is mediated by the apps it has a tendency to encourage pretty rude behavior. You can extend the principle to most online settings.