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If you gave up on apps (Grindr, Scruff, etc.), why?  

39 members have voted

  1. 1. If you no longer doing Grindr, Scruff, etc., why? Please, only answer if you really did give up, you've actually uninstalled the app. This is not about those frustrated with apps, but those who said "no more". If you think of another reason I will add it. Think of this as an informal epidemiological study. Thanks

    • Not gorgeous enough
      7
    • Not muscular enough
      6
    • Too old
      7
    • Dick not big enough
      5
    • Sick of racism
      5
    • Too isolated, no gays around
      7
    • Never get cruised
      10
    • Too many flakes
      27


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Posted

Even back in the early days (2000s?) I always scored better at saunas and sex clubs in person. Apps just seem about making money for the developers.

  • Like 1
Posted
On 8/12/2025 at 5:27 PM, SomewhereonNeptune said:

So I think I might have a different perspective. NKP has been a large miss for me, more talk than anything concrete. BBRT? That's  iffy but I've made more headway there than elsewhere. Adam4Adam seems to be treated in gay circles as their version of eHarmony, and it yields nothing at all. But I'd say I've had better conversations here that could have more potential for meeting than any of the other four (I totally gave up on Grindr).

Are you saying that the guys on these sites are falsely saying they're negative but are actually poz? Is this possibly a first step toward stealthing, or just a step to not reveal that until a more detailed conversation occurs? And of those Poz guys, how many of those you know are on meds/undectable versus detectable?

An individual's status is a fluid thing.  Granted, you know if you are poz or negative, or at least you should. But viral load, and being detectable?  Well, ask me after my next lab. I have gone from being virtually undetectable, to having a viral load over a million.   Now, do guys update their status on their profiles?  Probably not.  That profile may have been created six months ago - and their situation may have changed.  I don't ask questions about status and viral load, but I am honest when asked by a guy who I am going to hook up with.  NKP is like the wild, wild west.  No one seems to care, almost everyone is poz and their sexual interests vary.  Guys that are on more "mainstream" sites often have an account on NKP where they can express their wild side.  

In my geographic area, the guys on Sniffies, are also on NKP and possibly BBRT.  Do you think they bother to change their status after every doctor's visit?  Probably not.  So if you're concerned about that subject I wouldn't go by the profile, I would ask them directly before you hook up if it concerns you.  Because some guys just don't bother to let you know.....

Not saying they are all meaning to be deceptive, more like lazy.  If you have a concern, I would proceed with caution.  For me, I just don't care. 

Posted

When I was on Scruff I wasn't trying to hookup, but I wanted to find friends or even a relationship. I even stated that I wasn't looking for sex, but anyone that messaged me just wanted sex & anyone I tried to message ignored me. It got frustrating after 2 months, so I gave up on it. While I don't want to say there was racism on any apps, nor do I consider this racist by any means, but being black does limit my options. There are people that just aren't interested because of my race. Even other black people, and that's fine to have that preference. So I'm not bashing anyone for it, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I got irked occasionally seeing someone say they're not into black guys.

 

As for any other app I realized over time I was more into the anon public scene. There was less talking, less flaking & more action. It was easier to go to a bookstore, public restroom or park, than to try & set something up with someone I was attracted to.

 

Last time I went to a cruisy park around 10pm I took my clothes off when I noticed an older guy walking my way. I sucked him off, and when he wanted to touch my ass I arched my back. He saw the sign and had me bend over the table, and he stuck his small cock inside me. Regardless of the size it felt really good. While that was happening some Hispanic guy closer to my age approached us. I sucked him off while the old guy bred me. Then I gave my sloppy hole to the other dude. I was just being used by these guys, and it felt amazing.

 

Maybe one day I'll give the apps another try. There is a part of me that wants to be in a relationship.

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