Weight issues...

[Dirtysouth]

So I'm a fat guy, haven't always been, but the deep Southern cooking and party atmosphere have really changed my physique from being around 180-205 to 260.

Just as I've found it harder to snag chicks, now that I've entered the realm of sex with men, I'm not getting as many responses on BBRTS as I'd like. I guess I'm honest about my looks, average cock, hairyness, but when I am out at a club or bathhouse I get a lot of attention because I'm a thick top who has played sports all his life, so my 260 while definitely unhealthy and not as hot ass a solid 180, holds on me different than some 260lbder who sits at a computer all day. Does that make sense? Anyway, I'm finding very few true cumdumps, and I understand that looks play a part, but I've fucked a few really handsome thin guys that just want cum, while others who are chubby or even fat bottoms want ME to be a certain hotness.

Anyway, just as with fucking women, I want to be wanted more within the bottom community (if I could seed a different ass or mouth a week or even every other day/night I'd be a happy pig), so at what weight do I need to get to to do this? What I mean is when seen in public by bottoms they offer it up pretty easy, but online I have limited luck.

Again, I want to lose weight anyway, but wondering at what point do you think the bottoms who insist they take ALL loads will really come out to play? 220? 210? Lower???

I had a guy on CL who wanted to drink cum and piss for all str8 guys, when I was honest about my weight he said I was bigger than he wanted. Fine, I understand, but I wonder at what weight threshold will I get more attention online versus none at all as it stands now.

[Ingulphus]

Welcome to one of the many pitfalls of having sex with other men: trying to fit everybody's description of "hot". It can't be done, simply. You can crave all the pig sex you want, but you have to be comfortable with your body, and so do the men who you have sex with, and that will never be as many as you want. If your weight is an issue to you, without outside considerations (like what other men may find attractive), then make the effort to lose it via diet and exercise (and it takes time, so be patient).

On the other hand, if you are comfortable in your own skin, so to speak, then accept that everybody has their own tastes, and if they don't find you attractive, they're not worth worrying about. The best sex comes when neither person is thinking about extraneous issues like weight, hair color, dick size, etc., but just being in the moment with each other and getting off on the pleasure.

I entertained a beautiful cub last week - 5' 11', 250 lbs., red hair and the most beautiful green eyes. I didn't see him as fat - I saw him as voluptuous, and it was intensely pleasurable and extremely sensuous to feel myself surrounded with his flesh. (The fact that he was an indefatigable and dedicated cocksucker didn't hurt, either).

I'm 6'4" and 235 lbs. My 55 year old body isn't bad - nothing sags, and I have the ass of death. But I have a belly that I hate, and have had little success in controlling (I'm far too good a cook, and I never had much self-discipline). For quite a while I felt distinctly unsexy, but then I started to discover the men who love Daddies, and found that they think I'm very hot, indeed (think of the high school coach you secretly wished would molest you in the shower, or teach you how to jack off). They are a small part of the greater cruising population, but they are so well worth waiting for, and knowing they are out there gave me back my self-confidence. Like what you see - fuck me! Don't like it - fuck off.

And a purely practical note: You only have one public photo on BBRTS, and it doesn't convey much of anything about you. Add some body shots and better photos of your cock and you'll get more attention. And maybe re-write your profile text to stress that you're a straight man who likes cornholing guys - a lot of men find it very hot to be taken by a straight man (I know I do).

[Bear4Breeding]

I feel you Dirtysouth.

[Guest bbosouno]

Welcome to my world! I've never been skinny and I'm 5'7" 200, bearish type. I'm more of versatile bottom. Personally I love guys like yourself, for me you're hotter than any twink or gym bunny period. I also find us bigger guys more real too. I've experiencef the infamous be " height/weight proportionate", be between this & that weight, no fatties,no chubs, blah blah. As you mentioned, these sets of demands also comes from bigger guys WTF! Then add to the mix your facial looks and the demands on that. Because its online we can't represent ourselves as well as in person.

[thick]

Yeah, welcome to the world of man sex. Men are very visual. As you know, they have all manner of rules and regulations as to what they want sexually. I think you will find plenty of men to fuck. If these men are not what you are looking for and you think your size is holding that back, then lose weight. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. If you aren't, then other men will notice it. Many times I've seen descriptions on BBRT or a4a that say "must be a confident top." What the fuck does that mean? I say lose weight merely because its healthier. You'll feel better and you'll fuck better. If somebody doesn't like you for your size....there is one right behind him in line who will.

Edited November 23, 2011 by Hotload84

[total]

for me if ur in shape not sloppy saggy than big is better i dont like skinny muscled dudes but i guess ppl like what they like

[rawloads]

its funny how online guys take weight to be the big factor, i have been 270 and 46 waist and 180 with a 32 wasit, inbetween i have guys who will talk to me when im 270 but not when im 180 and visa versa, i always joke with my friends i must be getting skiny as so so wants to fuck me. weight is a personal issue as is attractiviness. i find when im around 200 I look the best but at my hieght people atuomatically think im fat, which im not i have farily large shoulders for my size so i look better carrying weight.

That being said im the same person no matter what weight i am, and i dont really care about the other guys weight unless he is why too big for me( which i define more on how he carries the weight then on actual weight, i have found skinny guys who wouldnt date me as i was under 300 lbs to guys my weight telling me im too fat. yet no matter my weight i come off as being confident in the way i look, and i think that is the factor. when im thinking im really fat i tend not to get as many guys as when im having a good time and could care less what other people think.

i would say just ignore the guys who think your weight defines you and that your too fat its all about how you feel that matters, and on a side note its always fun to reject someone who wants you now but not 10 pounds ago. if you show confidence you will get guys if you dont you will find you dont get them. and the last thing, i met this guy in a club one night and he was really into me, at the time i was 180 and my waist was 32 (which for me is very low body fat) as we were talking he said to me he could never date a guy who had a wasit bigger then 30, and i said so you dont plan on dating many guys.

[NJshorebear]

Funny that I just got back from a hook up with another guy and we both were discussing how hard it is to find a chubs bears in our local area, but when travelling in the south our Growler apps blow-up. I am a bigger guy and like other bigger guys, there are a lot of us out there including thinner chasers, but I think you need to look for folks where they are at. Have you tried biggercity.com or the local bear night at gay establishments in your area?

If you want to loose weight do it for yourself, not to attract guys, you'll have more success in your weight loss journey, and please know someone in Jersey would take that load in a heartbeat

[pulszer]

well first up dirty south congrats on deciding to fuck men. We 're much more fun.

I dont think theres any weight threshold, people like what they like. Though most people do seem to prefer some one whos fairly trim, theres nothing wrong with carrying a little weight. It all depends what suits your physique. Worst comes to the worst you could always grow a goatee and call your self a bear

Ps, gotta love those southern accents...

[Dirtysouth]

Thanks guys...

It doesn't hurt my feelings, I know people like what they like. No worries there, and I know I need to get in shape, as most of my weight gain has come from deep inside knowing if I gain weight I'll be less likely to find someone who I fear will break my heart.. anyway, enough of that, I'm about fucking. And fucking men has been fun. DC has been kind of a bust, but still early days.

[slowfuck]

Online is easy requiring no commitment to do anything. Many probably can't meet but like to fantasise and occupy their time browsing profiles. Some will be looking to meet now, some another time, some not looking to meet at all. In a sex club or sleazy bar the guys are up for meeting so finding someone to fuck will be very much easier.

I would suggest you carry on the cruising which is getting you fucks, keep being honest online, show then your cock, and keep them as bonus fucks if you find someone who does want to meet.

Good luck

[krunker1]

Petite asian twink here and absolutely LOVE being bred by big burley top men!!! Such a shame we're not closer

[Guest BushPig]

Previous life, I was a very fit guy at about 160 - 180 then I quit smoking, got lazy and stopped exercising. All the usual things you do as you get older and sure enough, my sex life suffered. Craigslist and the like were just so many unappealing old guys looking to get off and the occasional 'hot' young guy in average shape that wouldn't be caught dead with a chunky (215lbs currently) guy. That's why I like my toys and being handy with machinery. They're always ready, insatiable, big enough or long enough to hit the right spot and they'll go as long as you want. Maybe we should all just get over the outer person and concentrate on the pleasure of the fuck.

[barefootbob]

Dirtysouth, your weight/size is not/would not be a problem for me; you have cock, you get hard, you fuck ass, what more does a bottom need. I am 5'10" 160, total bottom, in decent shape but I can't get it up/hard which turns most guys in my area off, even if they are totaly horned out they don't want to hook up.

I also have a genetic condition called neurofibromatosis which has lots of bumps on my chest, back and legs, if the lack of getting hard isn't a problem one look at the NF is. (hence the reason for no pic on the profile). I believe the NF is the cause of me not getting hard which has been the case since I was in my mid 20's, the NF showed up in my early 20's. sorry, I didn't mean to highjack the thread, it is I can understand where you are coming from.

[Deaner]

Dirtysouth, I'm not stalking you, you just happen to be hitting a lot of topics this week that I want to comment on. (btw, just because I'm not stalking you doesn't mean you shouldn't call me).

There are some guys who will make decisions based on any number of factors. (i.e. if you're 40 years old instead of 39, 260# instead of 255, 8" instead of 8.5", mixed race instead of black or white, semicut instead of uncut, salt-and-pepper instead of blonde or brunette...)

There's also a segment of people who don't give a crap who you are or what you look like, and a 500# bald 65yo with no teeth and a 3" dick is as good as an 18yo high school football player... the blindfold and dark room may or may not make up for any difference.

But I think that *most* people have a certain set of preferences and ideals... which can easily be swayed one way or the other if the rest of the package makes up for any potential shortcomings. One of the advantages to gloryhole or darkroom sex is that some of those 70-year-old bald toothless men have amazing dicks and we just don't get distracted by the details. Some of the guys 20 pounds or 20 years outside our ideal range turn out to be awesome fucks because they make up for it with their attitude, style or approach. And some guys who we wouldn't consider on the street suddenly become prime targets because they share a rare kink that we just can't find anywhere else.

It is far, FAR worse to greet a hookup at the door who has completely lied about his age, weight, endowment and experience... than it is to take a chance on someone who is somewhat outside our usual preferences because they really turned us on because of some intangible quality. You can always fudge your age by a few years, your weight by a few pounds, your photo with one taken a couple years ago... unless the person you are hooking up with is extremely shallow, these things will be forgiven after an exceptional (or even merely satisfying) fuck.

Once in a while, you'll even find that 18yo high school football player who is looking for exactly your stats.

But judging from your past posts, you have a definitive quality about you that would make up for almost of your perceived shortcomings. You of all people could get away with scoring a hookup solely based on your attitude, without ever mentioning your physical stats. (many web sites utilize a no response or 'ask me' feature for most statistics). Use your advantages to your benefit, downplay the qualities that might be on the borderline of people's preferences. And keep in mind that the people who discount you solely because of weight or age or shoe size... probably would not have been a fun fuck to start with.