what does this mean?

[bigdick4you]

I have been fucking with this FB of mine for few months now. The sex is great and we cuddle up afterwards. I even normally spend the night holding his cute little body. I'm kind of in love with him, but he tells me he needs time as he is still recuperating from the break up with his ex who he still kind of loves. When we are not playing together he sometimes likes to have tops tag team and gangfuck him. Being the pig that I am, I told him that I would like to be involved in those sessions and would find it hot seeing other tops breed him and me joining the fun of course. After all, I love a cum-filled hole. His response was that he wouldn't be comfortable doing that with me and prefers our sessions to be one-on-one. I have insisted few times and still same answer. Any idea what I should think about this?

Edited December 13, 2011 by Hotload84

[NiceHard1]

People get different needs met in different ways. Communication is always important. Ask him more details regarding why he would not be comfortable --- but do it in a way to let him know that its not that you are trying to force him to do it, but that gyyou want to understand the dynamic better of your relationship with him.

But is sounds like he may consider you more special, and perhaps likes to have his pig play sessions to be more anonymous

[nastybottom]

But is sounds like he may consider you more special, and perhaps likes to have his pig play sessions to be more anonymous

That's how it sounds to me too.

[Deaner]

Depending on your motivation (are you trying to get in on the gang action, or are you trying to gauge if he's got feelings for you too), you might be able to coax him by having you tell stories about these play sessions. Have him describe the last group scene during play. Maybe even video it and watch together. That way, he'll know how hot you are about it and that you're not judging him negatively for it.

You might even want to try changing the angle a little. Offer to pimp him out and select the guys that are going to breed him, and when they're done, you get to use his cummy hole after they're all gone. Or offer to play safety monitor during a blindfold gang session, and see if he can tell your cock from the other strangers.

[bigdick4you]

dear deaner, thanx for ur response. he will tell me details briefly... i have tried to whore him out and he know i luv fucking a cummy arse... but he says he wouldnt be comfortable about it...my gut feeling is that he is happy with our 1-1 and he is afraid of loosing if we envolve more guys into it... we normally always spend the night together after sex all curled up...maybe indeed he is afraid that i would then think less of him, which is nonsense as i met him on sex website and not looking for virgin.com...its actually not that important as i do enjoy our 1-1 together... he also knows that i have done group sessions in the past whoring out bottoms... but like yesterday he was tagteamed by 2guys and i find that idea extremely hot. couldnt help myself and actually had a wank about it!

[Deaner]

Just another suggestion then, maybe mention to him that you had a wank over his tagteam. If you're a verbal guy, you can try bringing in some dialog about using his slutty, cummy ass while you're having 1-1 with him to try to tap into that side of his mindset while he's having sex with you, then be sure to return to the cuddling afterwards so he knows that it wouldn't change what he already has with you.

Of course, maybe there are some reasons why he just doesn't want you involved, so be prepared to drop it if you get a negative reaction. Maybe he feels guilty about those encounters and doesn't want to be reminded of them while he's in a 'safe place' with you. Maybe he sees you as a stability partner and the tagteams are his way of playing out fantasies that he simply doesn't want to become part of his encounters with you. Perhaps he has monogamy issues and he finds it important to separate 'boyfriend sex' from 'cheating sex'. Maybe there are even aspects to the group sex that he doesn't want you to know about (drugs, kink, etc). He might even be using the wild sex to deal with issues such as inadequacy, depression, etc and it would confuse him to include his stable partner in those scenes.

Any or all of that might even be going on in a subconscious level that he's not even aware of. Talking it out is probably your best bet, but be warned that it still might not get you the results you are looking for, so be patient and understanding and reassuring. The best you can end up with might be some sort of compromise. He might photograph or videotape a session for you, which you can then enjoy on your own without him present. You might need to put up a firewall between your desire to participate and the 1-1, the same way that he does. You might need to ask him how he'd feel if you organized a gangbang on the side with a different bottom so that you can fulfill your needs on the side the same way he is.

And this might be hard to hear, but you mentioned that he's still not over his last ex. He might be using you as a physical replacement for that loss, and involving you in other activities would suddenly not only drive home the reality of your current relationship, but also that there is no going back to what he is missing. He probably has multiple layers of reasoning for not including you, and may not even realize half of them. You're going to need some time to chip away at that to discover the whole truth before you can change it. And that might involve developing a trusting relationship with him that he's just not ready for quite yet...

I'd say talk it out. Be persistent without being demanding, and learn when to back off on the subject.

[bigdick4you]

ur saying things that make lot of sense... i know that he likes monogamous relationships but that he thinks that all men cheat and they do... i told him that i dont really cheat as im always upfront about fucking with others and expect same. i know that like me, he does not do drugs or have any special type of kink except being horny all the time and being bred by guys. he does 1-1 with others as well, but sometimes he likes being tagteamed by small group and i would luv to join... im quite verbal and call him a whore while fucking him and he always says jokingly that its not a very nice thing to say. one day i was fucking him and i told him that it felt like he had cum in there and how hot it was... he got kind of offended and said that he had no cum in him but that it was from douching and lube. but other top mates of mine always joke with me as during sexpartys i say to them that a bottom has cum up his hole and they say he doesnt... they say its ur fantasy... and of bcourse i do know that bottom sluts have cum up their hole as mates of mine have just come inside... he knows i arrange sexpartys and gangbangs with other bottoms, but he wants our time to be quality time... im defenitely not talking about it all the time, but i know that over time i like introducing other people into our bedroom...but if he is not ready i will always respect that as im quite crazy about him...