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Smart Ass

A blog by ErosWired in General

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About this blog

ErosWired's smartass Blog on sexuality and HIV

I changed the name of this blog because... well, because apparently that's my actual name. People keep calling me that, anyway, and you know, it seems to fit me in more ways than one. So I'm going to keep writing about my news from the front lines of my fight against the Enemy, HIV, but I'm going to keep cracking wise, and if I end up sounded like I'm fixated on my ass, I'm sure some of you won't mind too much. You're welcome to become as fixated on my ass as you want. ;)

Entries in this blog

Sexual Identity

Nine

I drove home from Nashville Sunday morning - a 90-mile drive - having spent the last night taking cock in a hotel room. I still had nine loads inside me as the result of my night of service. I don’t know anyone in Nashville, but an acquaintance from Chicago I met at IML last May had had come down to visit family, so I made arrangements to come down and take a hotel room so he could fuck me again. He also offered to be my doorman as I hosted. It was a successful night of hosting, especi
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

4

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

I’m not a particularly vain person. This is possibly because I don’t usually notice other people’s appearance either. It doesn’t register to me as significant until I discover whether or not they have a brain isn’t instantly tiresome (so many are). If their appearance isn’t important, my head reasons, why would my own be? Except, of course, for the vast majority of humanity - a primarily visual and basically not at all telepathic species -appearances are huge. People judge books and pretty
ErosWired

ErosWired

0
Life with AIDS

Lucky Seven

I just, this moment, realized that yesterday was the anniversary of the day I walked out of the hospital in 2014 to begin life with AIDS. I am now a 7-year AIDS survivor. There are flavors of irony in this moment all mixing together as I contemplate this conjunction of events. First and most immediate of these is that I’m currently lying naked on my bed with another man’s load of semen in my cunt, so fresh it hasn’t even had time to start leaking out. Ironic, on this day, that they call it
ErosWired

ErosWired in Life with AIDS

0

Keeping Score

I joined BreedingZone a year ago this month. A year ago I considered myself a committed sexual submissive, because that's what I've been trained for, but I didn't think of myself as a cumdump, nor did I think about barebacking as a choice - it was just something Men did or didn't do when they fucked me. Once I became HIV+, I didn't have any sex at all until I became undetectable, and then I let Men know I understood if they wanted to use a condom. At that point, I was glad they were still willin
ErosWired

ErosWired

0

Is It Flattery If He's About To Cum?

Our culture has the strange dichotomy of valuing humility yet paying attention to braggadocio. Usually, when someone makes a claim like, "I am the greatest!" we aren't going to take him at his word - we expect him to prove it with a TKO in the third round. Advertisers have become so accustomed to using superlatives that if a motel calls itself "Best Value" we don't stop to think about whether it actually is the best value, we just assume it's cheap and we don't turn on a black light in the room.
ErosWired

ErosWired

2

Hollow

I’m lying belly down, ass up, on a queen bed in a hotel room in Louisville on a Monday night. A 30-year-old guy just left after fucking my ass in very competent style for a man calling himself a Versatile Bottom. I said as much to him before he left. He came hard inside me; I can tell by the way their bodies move and by the sounds they make when their climax is strong. His load had volume, too, because some of it spilled out onto the bed cover even though he shot buried deep inside my cunt.
ErosWired

ErosWired

4

He Put The Sin In Cincinnati

True confession: My ass is my weakness. For some, you grab their cock and you grab their soul. A few get weird about their nipples. For very, very men, it's the stomach - give them a piece of pie and they're putty in your fingers. For me, play with my cock all you want; it's a soldier (it definitely stands at attention and shoots) that can take your abuse. You have to know what you're doing to work my nipples, they're funny that way. But just start a fingertip down the valley at the ba
ErosWired

ErosWired

0
Sexual Identity

Grandmasster

Well. The site just notified me that Congratulations! You just increased your rank to Grandmaster!  I’m not quite sure how to take this. Grandmaster is a title applied to people at the pinnacle of ability in Chess. I suck at Chess. I mean, why wouldn’t I? I’m a complete submissive and play a completely defensive game strategy, which is a guaranteed loser. Don’t believe me? Try keeping a determined cock out of your ass without going on the offensive - you’re getting fucked. So there’s t
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

6

Good Pussy Is Hard To Find

A small group of men entered my room at The Works bathhouse in Indianapolis last Saturday evening during CumUnion. I could tell it was a group by the sound of the shuffle of their feet, by their breathing, by the way the echoes off the walls of my small room shifted, by the play of the shadows around me. I took a light popper hit to loosen my ass, and it amplified my senses. My ass was up, facing the door (naturally) so I didn't turn to look at them. I never do. I'm a cunt. Why would I need to l
ErosWired

ErosWired

0

Fucking at Little Bighorn

[I want to preface this entry with a word to any readers whose heritage is Native American. The experiences I describe below are a true account, and my narrative of them is as objective as I can make it. My interpretation of the meaning of the events is naturally filtered by my own cultural lens, but also by my professional role, one that has to a degree sensitized me to the history, realities, and sensitivities of Native Americans. I assure you that my contemplation on the nature of the experie
ErosWired

ErosWired

0
Sexual Identity

Fuck By Numbers

For goodness’ sake. If you read the conversations on these boards, anyone would get the impression that the bareback world is teeming with men with massive endowments, and every bottom who posts his ‘true’ story encounters them regularly. When we watch porn, we apparently get confirmation of this, because there the cocks are, biiiigggger than life. So how does the average Top feel when he then unzips his pants and looks down and doesn’t find one of those? How does a bottom feel when he
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

1

Eros, god of corruption

When I was young I read lots of books. My parents let me read what I wanted, which was good, because I had zero interest in sports or any of the other things that usually make boys boys. (I wasn’t into the things that make girls girls, either, in case you’re wondering.) Star Wars had just premiered and in a few years I would discover Dungeons & Dragons and computers, but the books were always at the center. They were stories about heroes and heroines, protagonists who had to face u
ErosWired

ErosWired

3
HIV

Eight

The 14th of this month was my 8th anniversary. I am now an 8 Year AIDS Survivor. Eight years since I stopped being the person I used to be and started being this one. Because that’s what the Enemy Virus does, it climbs inside you and in every practical way becomes a part of you. Not just in the sense that there’s no way to get it out, but also in the way it becomes a part of your every waking moment - your habits, what you eat, the decisions you make, how you look at the world, and how the
ErosWired

ErosWired in HIV

4

Down to a Science

There's a difference between being fucked and being bred. If you're a bottom, you know what I'm talking about - you know when a man is breeding you, and you know when a man is just fucking you. The question is, how do you know? How about the way he acts? Oh, no, that's not the way; And you're not listenin' to all I sa - wait a minute, that's Cher... I mean, part of it is the way he acts, the subtle shift in tone of his voice, the difference in the position and firmness of his grip
ErosWired

ErosWired

1
Sexual Identity

Dominant Duty

Elsewhere in the forum I was talking about men who place themselves in long-term chastity and surrender the key to a Dominant. The Dominant denies the submissive the ability to touch his own cock and have a penile orgasm at any time unless the Dominant expressly allows it—and that time sometimes never comes, depending on the arrangement and the intent. The Dominant may intend simply to demonstrate his continued control of the submissive by allowing the orgasm only after a show of reluctance or a
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

3
Life with AIDS

Dead Man Walking

Today’s entry is brought to you by the Number 55. 55. Fifty-Five. Half-a-Benjamin-plus-five. Forty-five shy of a century - which is really what gets to the point. Today is my birthday, marking my 55th tour ‘round the Sun. Before any of you reflexively say ‘Happy birthday’, let me save you the trouble - I haven’t had one of those sine number 40, when I acquired a sense of Time, and I now positively dread them since 2014 when I nearly stopped having them. It’s not as simple as a con
ErosWired

ErosWired in Life with AIDS

3

Cunt is a State of Mind

This weekend I attended the October CumUnion in Indianapolis, one that I will remember as "Bigcockapalooza" because the whole damn weekend long I got fucked by one big cock after another. I'll remember no. 3 particularly, because he speared me with all eight thick inches of it in one single strong thrust. But that fuck was only the third of 20, so there would be plenty to come. The great big cockhead, the long, long nine-inch session, the ram-it-home guy... and all of these before the main event
ErosWired

ErosWired

11

Cum By The Cup

I stumbled across this quite by accident: (That's a transparent lie, of course. It wasn't accidental at all.) Read the part where it says "Serving Size". 1 cup (240 ml) (70 ejaculates). The accepted standard single serving size for cum is 70 loads. No wonder I'm starving. I remember the first time I tasted cum - it was my own. I was a young teenager, and wondered what this stuff was, and put some on my tongue. I don't remember what I thought at the time. I do r
ErosWired

ErosWired

3

Cloud Cuckoo-Land

Note: This entry relates to issues I’m still thinking about, and may be later revised if I do any more braining. —— As I read the topics and posts of this forum, I am often struck with a sense that there are two different communities here, existing side-by-side, intermingling as though they were one, yet profoundly different. I’m not talking about the poz/neg divide, or the Top/bottom divide, or the chaser/non-chaser divide, or the divide between CD/TG and M/M attraction. I’m refe
ErosWired

ErosWired

9

And Now For Something Completely Different

Another trip to CumUnion in Indianapolis last weekend, and another solid tally of fuckings - but more of that in a bit. What stands out in memory are a few incidents of oddity, to wit: Almost the instant I got into my room and opened the door for guests, I felt hands on my ass, and I glanced back to see that there were two men in the room. The one fondling my cheeks began probing my hole, then after a minute stopped, and I heard moaning from the second man, rising to an abrupt stop. Then th
ErosWired

ErosWired

6

A Shout-Out

The night before December CumUnion in Indy I attempted to take a fist. I really thought I would get there, but it didn’t quite happen, despite the patient and experienced effort of the fister doing the work. Alas. I had not had anyone seriously take the time with my ass before, and I consider it a failure on my part that I didn’t open up readily for him. I think the fact that I bled slightly early on may have made him extra cautious; he said I should practice with someone with smaller hands.
ErosWired

ErosWired

2

A Nuclear Option

I understand how the potential of having your sexual nature exposed to the world could be exciting when you're in a sexual frame of mind (read: horny). I understand the appeal of fantasies like being coerced into sexual compliance or performance by blackmail or other means. I understand the psychological nature of behavior like exhibitionism and submission. I can even understand getting to the point of desperation for someone to interact with that a man would place himself into a compromised pos
ErosWired

ErosWired

2

A Little Push

I hadn't planned on it, and didn't expect it. Well - I didn't expect it. I was cleaned out, and lubed up. What I planned on, or at least hoped for, was a pleasant encounter with some willing top who might like the look of me and have some fun. You never knew at this campground, but it was a gay campground, so the odds were good, and even if the goods were sometimes odd, I didn't much care. But it was a crapshoot, because I was there alone, and it always seemed like the action happened
ErosWired

ErosWired

1
Sexual Identity

4,000

I just made my 4,000th post on this forum. If that were one post per day, it would equal almost eleven years’ worth of posts (I’ve only been here for six). By my reckoning, that still leaves me about 400 short of having the equivalent of one post for every day that I’ve been HIV+. By the time I reach 4,500 I’ll probably hit that equivalency. I wouldn’t have thought I had that much to say about sex. I never thought that sex played a significant role in defining me - I live alone, have n
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

0
Sexual Identity

3 1/2

Three and a half inches is the width of a credit card. Or the length of a microdick - a term that I despise. There is a Top in Indianapolis who fucking terrifies me because every time he encounters me at a bathhouse he reduces me to a quivering puddle of post-anal-orgasmic jelly using just such a cock. Attached to him, it is a fearsome weapon.  I encountered another one today as I was hosting in Nashville. In the last minutes before I had to close up shop to leave, a man contacted
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

0

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