So I have been on breeding zone for a short time and I have had many different thoughts and feelings about some of the content I have viewed and read here. Some of it is very hot and some of it is shocking. Being a bottom who loves to have his ass fucked I was shocked at how many guys are actively looking to receive  HIV and many other STD's. Now don't get me wrong I am not judging or anything like that but until I started looking at this site I didn't realize that people were into that. Now I am sure for a small number of the guys that are bug chasers it is more of a fantasy than a reality and I get that. I have many fantasies that I don't think I could go through with in reality. I have logged off of Breeding Zone many times shaking my head not understanding some of the stories and shared experiences, but I keep coming back over and over again and its like I can't get enough of reading the experiences and stories. Now what really amazes me is yesterday I was horny more than usual reading content here on Breeding Zone and looking at profiles on BBRT. I was looking at all of the Top's profiles from around the US and many of them list themselves as being Poz or undetectable and finding myself fantasizing about getting fucked raw by them. No matter how much I tried to tell myself that I could never do that knowing the guy who is about to plant his seed deep inside me is HIV+ I kept thinking about it and getting more and more turned on. I got so turned on by the thought of taking a chance receiving a load of cum from a HIV+ guy that I sent emails to some tops on BBRT. I got some good responses from a couple of them but there is one guy in particular that is HIV+ but undetectable because of his meds. I can't believe this but I am seriously thinking about getting together with him (he lives close) and having him deposit his undetectable seed deep inside me. Now I know that with an undetectable top the chances are slim on getting HIV but its the knowing his seed could possibly convert me gets me so fucking hard and horny. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me and why I am thinking this way but what really scares me is that I am going to go through with this (we are getting together this Saturday) and I want this guy to breed me in the worst way. I have jacked off many times thinking that the after orgasm thoughts would stop my thoughts about taking possible Poz seed but it has had no effect. I mean at this moment my cock is rock hard thinking about this. Am I fucked up or what?.

I don't know if any of this makes any sense but it us just something that I have to get off my chest.