Reminiscing
Funny a couple of nights ago I was being turned out by Mal this big dick Latin guy I met on BBRT. Mal like myself is poz undetectable and of course not only did he fuck me raw but came deep inside of me.
Thing is at some point in the past this would make me feel ashamed or at the least bad in some way, and now I'm more of wow that was nice, when can I do this again. Admittedly I was getting depressed thinking how fucking stupid can I be for allowing myself to become a statistic , another bi black man getting hiv.
Funny thing is I honestly can't say if I had a chance to do my life over would I change my decision to bareback. Some people say there's not a difference when fucking with a condom but there's a difference to me, a lack of connection when using a condom.
Yet in spite of these emotions I don't hate my life our my situation nor do I want to go blaming someone for this situation after all I was a willing participant. I guess the trick is to look forward to the future and try not to dwell too long in the past
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