I believe in science. If you want to understand why something happens, the reason for it can eventually be understood if you apply science to it.

I had been in a deep grey funk for weeks, and didn't understand what was wrong with me. Yeah, yeah, change of seasons, need a break from work, blah blah blah, not buying it. Exercise? No use. This was malaise. This was one of those oppressive, gnawing feelings that grabs hold of you and doesn't let go until it thunders. It was like an ache that wouldn't stop aching, an itch that couldn't be scratched, a hunger for which there was nothing in the fridge.

In retrospect, I now think I really became aware of it when I logged onto this website for the first time. It had been a dry spell, and all the talk of juicy, sloppy, grunting, no-holds-barred bareback sex had my toes twitching. Also my asshole. A man had actually spent five years training my mind to accept a role as a public cumdump, but cut me loose without setting me up to actually perform. Now I found myself reading the posts of those who do, and realizing that my training was not for nothing. I can do this.

It's not that I haven't done it before. I've shared in other posts about how much cum I've been pumped full of (Hint: It's never enough). It's just that I had never, until now, seriously considered the possibility of becoming a public sex worker. What do you call a man who gives his body away for free? Escorts and prostitutes have at least partly a monetary agenda. I don't, so I can't even accept the technical definition of "whore". I had never thought about it before. I had never looked at myself in the mirror and said, "Cumdump. You. Get busy." But the guy in the mirror was pretty persuasive, so day before yesterday, I put out my first CL ad, set up a QuickConnect on BBRTS, got a hotel room, propped my ass up with a couple of pillows, and thought to myself, Open for Business.

There is some scientific research on the effect that sexual intercourse has on the human body. Of course there is; what else would pervy scientists be studying? The release of a whole complex of hormones and neurotransmitters have profound effects on mood and stress levels. But in my experience, there is an effect that can last days or weeks after a particularly good fucking - a glow that sticks with you not just in memory, but in your whole being, almost akin to a good meal that fills you so perfectly that you don't feel hungry for a long time.

The first man who pushed open my unlocked hotel door fucked me just like that for a solid hour. He wasn't hard when he got there, and had a little trouble at first, but once he stiffened up, he was ruthless. He wasn't huge, either - a perfectly-sized cock for marathon fucking, and he knew how to use his tools. He loaded me up about a third of the way through, but he was nowhere near finished. Not long after he hit my personal "breeding zone" where I dissolve into a growling animal-bitch and assume nature's pose for reproduction. He knew exactly what to do with that. Later on, when he had started to soften up a bit, he still hadn't run out of ideas: He used his big tip in and out of my by now exquisitely sensitive hole, inoutinoutinoutinoutinoutinoutinoutinoutinout... until I was nearly out of my mind.

I only had one other taker that night, with a great big organ that ravaged my cunt very professionally. The fact that I had only two takers didn't bother me. It's a one-horse town anyway, and this was a case of quality over quantity.

But the first Top cured me of my deep grey funk. What I had needed was a good fucking. Yeah, yeah, science, blah blah blah. I needed a man's cock in my cunt, and I needed his load shot deep inside me, and Mister, whoever you were, I'm grateful. Not only for the load, but for confirming for me that I truly am meant to be a cumdump, and that I'm right to start doing this.

All you Tops, never underestimate the good you can do with a simple fuck. Sometimes, your decision to share your masculinity, your power, your energy, and yes, your load, with a bottom can make all the difference. Go forth and do good work.