Don’t get me wrong, I’m so not hung up on numbers. My last entry happened to be about the convergence of the number 2,000 with my sex life, but that’s just a coincidence. It’s also true that my post on the forum tend to betray a kind of fascination with things like how much cock, measured in miles, has rutted my cunt, or how many average loads it takes to fill a gallon milk jug full of cum - but that’s statistics, that’s science. Numbers for their own sake - not my fetish.

In fact, I mostly suck at math. Always hated it. Anything to do with the relationships between numbers just hit my brain like oil on Teflon. I’m a letters sort of guy.

Still very much science-y, though, so you can imagine the skeptical view I take when someone pops up - like they have since the Middle Ages - and says they can divine the hidden truth about things by adding up the numerical value of the letters in words. That is, numerology.

First, letters don’t have numerical values unless somebody arbitrarily assigns them one, and different schools of numerology have used different systems of numbers for the same letters, so who’s to say whether the Pythagorean, Chaldean, or Agrippan methods are correct, assuming they aren’t all complete hooey.

So I decide to give this a little test, just for fun. I take the letters of my first and last name, and the letters of two or three phrases, and see if the ‘numerology’ divines anything using the Pythagorean method (because it uses all the letters in the Latin alphabet).

A little summing later, and I compare.

And I discover that my name has both the same number of letters as ‘A FAGGOT CUMDUMP’, but more importantly, the same numerologic sum even though the letters are different.

Well, Fuck.

What makes this particularly irritating is that I want to be able to laugh and thumb my nose at numerologists and say, “See? You’re talking out your numerical asses.” But it got it right.

Now, I’m not sold, of course. Maybe just another coincidence, and why wouldn’t it be? I’m sure I could juggle around words and phrases until I came up with any number of such combinations.

But there will always be a tiny little seed of doubt now sprouted in the back of my mind: What if there really is some greater cosmic energy out there with the power to reveal fundamental truths about ourselves, and I just tapped into it.

What if the Universe just confirmed that I am a faggot cumdump? That sort of puts a guy in his place in a solid way.

 I could resist the thought easily by telling myself, Nah, you suck at counting. But then I would remind myself, Maybe so... but you’re -really- good at cunting.