To the planks that others lay along the way.

I’ve been contemplating my role in the dynamic with Sean and Phong. Phong, drawn to the physical, evident in the way he enjoys my massages, the kisses, the closeness. Sean, pulled more to the cuddling, to the conversations, to the endless flow of thoughts that we share.

And I’ve wondered.

I’ve wondered if I am a bridge,

a connection between the two of them.

I am the bridge Phong crosses, through touch, through intimacy, to find Sean.

I am the bridge Sean crosses, through words, through thoughts, to find Phong.

But where does that leave me?

A bridge feels noble, yes, but it also feels hollow. Used. Even though I know these thoughts are only in my head, they weigh heavy. They make me ask myself: what do I want from this? And the truth is—I don’t know.

The sex is great, I won’t lie, and the conversations? The mental stimulation? They’re incredible. But it’s never the whole thing. How could it be? What Sean and Phong share, they can never give all of it to me, not without losing something between themselves. And so, I am given a slice of the pie, just one slice. The rest, rightfully, stays with them.

So now I am in bed, at two in the morning, thinking,

thinking.

I am thinking that I am no longer a bridge.

Instead, I am walking on a bridge—on a bridge built by Sean and Phong, by the time we’ve shared, by the moments they’ve crafted for me to carry. They are part of my journey through life, this bridge a small, beautiful piece of it. I stop to admire the scenes they’ve built, the love they’ve shown, the laughter, the tears, the intimacy. I stop to appreciate it all, but eventually, I keep walking.

I keep walking because that’s what bridges are for, aren’t they?

To cross. To move forward.

And this bridge they’ve built, this one I’m on now, it’s just one part of the many. Others will come, others will build, and I will stop again, admire again, until one day, I reach my final destination, which is death.

This thought, oddly enough, makes me smile.

It makes me appreciate this moment more, this piece of the bridge. Because bridges are never really gone, not truly. I can always choose to return, to walk this part again, to visit the view that Sean and Phong have created. It will always be here, waiting.