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Absolutely another rule my ex master had in place was I was always made to come before he or other tops he had selected for me fucked me. He would put on his leather glove and pull my cock (usually while I was tied to the cross) until I came. He would then smear my cum on his cock or on the cock of the first top that was going to fuck me for lube. He believed that made me concentrate more on the top's pleasure and I was not thinking of my own sex when I should be totally concentrating on the pleasure of my top. I was also never allowed to expel seed from my body without consent and he would always butt plug me after he and other topsw had used me so I had to keep the loads in me as long as possible.

This is a subject that is a source of great fascination. Imagine for a moment all of the millions of people who have seen their HIV infection progress into that final stage called AIDS. The agony, fear and suffering experienced is well documented and well understood. Yet some men, and I am one of them, are drawn not to just becoming infected with HIV, but truly desire to experience AIDS. No doubt, the thrill of fucking during a chase is hot. Many of us find POZ on POZ sex to be extremely erotic. But we still want more. We want to feel our bodies change as the disease destroys our immune system as it takes control of our lives. For whatever reason we have huge desire to live with the viral time bomb of AIDS lurking within our DNA. I am not sure I fully understand that desire. But, I know that pull is very real. It was real before I started chasing. It became more real as that first POZ cock drove a toxic load deep into my faggot ass. The heat of that desire became hotter with each POZ cock and erupted into flames as I tested POZ. And now, two years after I submitted to the allure of diseased dick, that fire burns even hotter. For some it may be part of some sort of a death wish. I do not subscribe to that. Rather, it is a recognition of mortality and a desire to understand that. It may be a desire to be connected to the generations of brother queers who have experienced AIDS first hand. It may be more of the same sexual fetish that chasers and gifters share. For me, each day is a day closer to that diagnosis. The virus in my body is not hindered by medication. I am actively seeking super-bugs to insure my goal is achieved. I know those who have suffered with AIDS, who have lost lovers and family to AIDS, who have seen first hand the wicked power of that final stage of our illness may never understand. But for those few of us who are so inclined, the pull is stronger than you could ever imagine.