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[Author's note: I wrote this true account of my first bareback fuck many years ago. At this point, it's been 20 years rather than the 8-9 mentioned in the account. Brian and I continued to play regularly for years after this took place, getting piggier and piggier with each play session. While we are still connected, work, busy schedules, the hunt for new meat has left long gaps in getting together. I always look back at this encounter with the biggest smile on my face. I felt a strong attraction for Brian, and he for me, but it never materialized into more than simply acknowledging it with each other. I first posted this to a previous site that @rawTOP was operating and had lost it, to my great regret, but someone this morning, contacted me saying they had read it and provided the link to it, which is here, but you can read the account below.] I am sometimes asked how long I've been barebacking and how I first got into it. As a guy who loves sharing stories and hearing other people's stories about their sexual activities and kinks, I am generally very happy to answer the question. I've been barebacking for about 8 - 9 years now, since about 2000. My buddy Brian broke my bareback cherry. He wasn't a buddy at the time, just fresh meat, but he has since become a buddy. I was playing online, I think it might have been m4m4sex at the time, and had been just lusting after Brian's profile pic which was a shot of his cock. Brian's cock is about 8" x 6". I actually think that he is thicker than 6". His dick is full round, meaty and veiny. He's got a big set of balls and all of this is attached to a hairy trim, not gym-bound, but trim body. I'm a sucker for big dicks and a sucker for hairy guys. What made it even more appealing was that Brian is actually a very down to earth, smart, nice guy. After just ogling his profile pic for months, I worked up the nerve to contact him. I sent him an email through the online system and we started a brief chat. Very early into the chat, Brian let me know that he only barebacked. I told him that I did not and this ended the conversation, politely but it ended. It didn't end my desire for Brian's dick though. Whenever I'd log on to m4m, I would look at his profile pic and frustrate the hell out of myself. About 3 weeks later, he and I were online at the same time, and I contacted him once again, thinking that he might have forgotten our previous conversation and I might get a different answer. I was so hopeful he would say he'd fuck me safe. But he didn't, after a few email exchanges, he told me once again that he only fucks bare, and he politely turned me down. I was frustrated even more because in addition to not being able to get his dick, I had been online for hours trying to round something up and not having any luck at all. So, I was massively horny with no possibility of getting fucked in sight. I was bruised a bit by his turning me down again, but there was no way I could possibly blame him because he was so good about it. He told me where he stood and let me make the decision. I couldn't justify getting mad at him. Well I let some time pass as I struggled with the question of did I want Brian's dick enough to let him fuck me bareback. I can only describe this as agonizing. I was literally punishing myself, it seemed. Some time later, I was back online, as was Brian. I wanted to give it just one more try, which I did, and this time Brian's answer was much sterner. He said, "You've contacted me a few times and I've let you know that I only fuck bareback. When you're ready to get fucked bareback, let me know." He signed off shortly after this message. He was right. He had squarely put the question where it belonged: with me. I had been attempting to make my issue his and he was not going to let me do that. The next week, I was home for the day and feeling horny as shit. I had been online for a while and had been doing poppers as well, which I love doing, but the combination had me super horny. When I'm super horny, it's like every nerve ending in my body is screaming for cock, it's all I can think about and it consumes all my time. After having been online for much of the day and had been edging and feeling horny beyond belief, Brian came online and I was obsessed with getting some dick. I kept asking myself do I hit him up again and if I do, it can't be to try to get him to fuck me wrapped, not after his last response to me. Do I deal with my horniness by letting him fuck me bare. I sent him an email and said "I'm ready to get fucked bare." That's all the email said. Brian sent a quick response, which said nothing more than "What's your address? I can be there in about 20 minutes." I sent him my address, while my hands were trembling on the keyboard. I shut the computer down and got up from my chair. I started to tremble all over and could sense that most of the color was draining from my face. My hands also started to get cold and clammy. I could tell I was incredibly nervous, more so than possibly any other time in my life. BUT I also knew that I wanted to see this through. I paced my apartment waiting for Brian to show up. There was a knock at the door. I opened the door and found a good looking dark-haired and dark-featured man. I let him in and I could immediately tell he knew I was nervous. So, he spoke up, realizing perhaps that I was too "stuck" to say much of anything. He said, so where do you want to play? I didn't answer but just led him to the bedroom. Once there, he pretty much took control, I think realizing that he needed to take control if anything was going to happen, but I also realized that he didn't mind stepping up to take control. He unbuckled my jeans, slid me out of my clothes until I was standing naked in front of him, still feeling cold. He started working out of his dress clothes and before long, stepped out of his boxers to reveal his beautiful cock, the thing that led to this entire episode. It was already rock hard, standing at full thick attention, commanding all the attention in the room. Brian gave me a bottle of poppers to hold and told me to get on the bed on all 4's with my shoulders down on the bed, which I did, without realizing that I even did it. I was out of it still, just going through the motions. Brian told me to take a hit of poppers, which were good poppers, fresh. And a wave went over me, easing me up a bit. He got behind me and started eating me out, which he did with a lot of gusto. He had a talented tongue. Periodically, he would tell me to take a hit which I would. He would tell me, after my taking the hit, to push my hole out and then he'd dive back in to eat it some more. In all, he probably ate me out for 20 minutes. At this point, he got on his knees behind me, with his dick in his hand and told me to take a deep hit of poppers, so I did. He put his cockhead against my ring and started pushing in gently, all the while telling me to push out. He kept pushing and popped his head in and just kept it there for a short bit. I was scared that he was in but excited as well because I was starting to feel less nervous and recognizing how much I wanted this to be happening. Again, he told me to take a hit and started pushing his dick in. Brian's so thick, he's not easy to take, but I was wet with all his spit and also incredibly loosened up and horny from the poppers. At this point, I knew without his telling me to push my hole out so that his dick could slide in more easily. Finally, he was all the way in, buried to his thick bush. He kept his dick buried in me without moving for about a minute. He told me to take another deep huff and he started to pull out to just to the point of still having his dickhead inside me. He gave me a long stroke all the way down and back up and with the next stroke down he started fucking me mad. It was his ass to fuck, he deserved it. I gave myself over to his mad fucking. He didn't say much more during this time, he could hear me doing poppers on my own without his having to tell me, so he was just going to enjoy my pussy. After about 10 minutes of fucking me like this, Brian squirted a load of juice up my ass in about 6 awesome squirts. I remember thinking he didn't even say he was going to cum or even grunt heavily. I realized it's because he didn't want to run the risk of telling me and giving me the chance to somehow pull off of him. He wanted to be sure he could plant his seed deep in my ass. He finally pulled out, started getting dressed, without saying anything to me. I was exhausted. Finally he said, I can see myself out. That was my first bareback fuck and I haven't used a rubber since.

ANOTHER REAL EXPERIENCE – Unsuspected Pnp’ers Who knew they partied? A recent series of posts on Breeding Zone, discussing whether or not your friends are aware of your partying activities got me thinking about the times I discovered someone I knew and would never have expected indulged, was instead well-acquainted with enhanced sex. For 16 years, I've managed to keep my party life from interfering with my two careers or other "normal world" day-to-day activities. Some periods I attend pnp parties once or twice a week, some periods a few times a month, sometimes only once a month. In answer to your question, CERTAIN friends know I party (certainly my husband knows I do, though he does not - our open sexual relationship for the past 27+ years and our opposite work schedules mean I do so only during those times he is working which he is cool with). Only one of my straight friends knows I party, and select gay/bi friends. Usually those are friends I've either met "in the scene" who have crossed over into being actual real-world friends that one could rely on, rather than just pnp-buds (who are fine too, so long as one realizes the limitations and true parameters of that kind of interaction). However, every once in a while I'm surprised to discover someone I never expected is a partier, and I always get a kick out of hooking up in a situation like that. When my husband and I lived in Hell’s Kitchen in the 90s, directly across the air-shaft that sank through the center of our apartment building lived two guys who like us were musical theater performers – these guys were both hot and ripped African-American dancers (my hubby and I are Anglo – and like them I had a muscled dancer bod). It got to the point where we would all do 3 ways and 4 ways together… the catch being that either one or both of them would come to our place, or I would go to theirs by climbing across the airshaft 4 stories up! (My hubby, an opera singer, could not do the same). To be fair, the ventilation shaft was shaped like a hexagon <=> and we crawled across where in the angle where the two windows met. Like us, one of them was really kinky and the other pretty vanilla so no enhancements were ever included. They eventually moved out to LA to do music videos. Then, a few years later, after I had started to pnp a bit more, I bumped into Craig, the kinky one, at a buddy’s afternoon chemparty and finally got to play with him in a supercharged way – we did so several times during the time he was back in New York for a show – it was great to finally fuck that beautiful hot ass bareback and get fucked by his fat black cock the same way, along with some major hole play between us. There was a hot but conservative couple I knew that for years were very vocally anti-party - we'd played together, but it took longer for me to get to their place then the un-enhanced sex would actually take, and so I didn't go out often. Then one day out of the blue they had a total switch and my numerous sessions with them since have been very hoT - I've written about them in my true experiences blog on this site. The same for an actor/director I knew only professionally - we'd starred in two productions together and he'd directed me in a third... what a Christmas Present it was when this guy - a married guy with kids who had a TV series in the 80s and is in a ton of movies we've all seen - got me alone at a rehearsal for "A Christmas Carol" and told me he was bisexual and a 'mutual friend' had assured him that I could mentor him in the T-fueled gay sex scene which I gladly said I would... this was made even more ironic in that I was playing Bob Crachit and he was playing Ebenezer Scrooge at the time. Imagine if you will seeing Crachit and Scrooge naked, blowing clouds and booty bumping, with Crachit topping and breeding a leather restrained Scrooge and giving him chem piss... yeah we played that up in our first sex session (even used the British accents...). One of our other first sessions took place in his house one evening, in his office/library room while his soon-to-be ex-wife was out – we swapped pipe hits while fucking on his desk and blowing clouds on the family pics on his desk. When they separated, he took an apartment in Upper Manhattan and we pnp’d there frequently. Another surprise was recent and very, very welcome. During the '90s when I lived in Hell's Kitchen, there were a number of regularly scheduled sex parties in NYC. There was one I attended very frequently where the guys running it would not charge me the entrance fee if I would come early and get the sex started (having no inhibitions). One of the event runners, Bill, was one of the hottest guys I'd ever had sex with and we'd frequently save our last encounter of the night for each other when we'd flip-fuck, both of us having spent the rest of evening topping others. While I would do some bottoming on some nights, he never did at all, except for me and one other guy and only at the end of the party, because the other guys in management didn't want his big cock and butch leather reputation to be sullied among the other customers/guests - apparently, they felt, correctly it seems, that the possibility of being fucked by him brought lots of guys back week after week. Bill and I also very naughtily broke the “always use a condom” pledge that was part of the event rules somewhat frequently… however, it was usually so late that there’d be no one to notice who ever would have complained or reported it, and hell, he was one of the event runners! Anyway, these parties were very much NOT chem-friendly so how would I know he was into it? After 12 years without seeing each other, he read one of my "real experience" blogs on Tumblr, and as he said "I knew immediately that had to be you!" and sent a message. Funny, he was afraid I wouldn't remember, or that I'd not be interested - WRONG!! I nearly fell out of my chair trying to respond immediately - it's nice to know that someone you think was one of the most amazing sex partners EVER thinks the same of you! The first time I saw him after those 12 years, I met him in midtown to introduce him to my candyman. After sitting around with a few other guys and blowing clouds with them, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other – and since nothing was going to be happening where we were for at least a few more hours – we found a nearby hotel room, raced over there, got naked, loaded up our pipes and dove all over each other. We both ate hole for what seemed like hours, since we’re both addicted to rimming and we each do it VERY well. It was a very hot, unexpected surprise (we hadn’t planned on playing until the following week) and though it was only a couple of hours, it was just so much fun to really LET GO with this kindred spirit. Just this past weekend, I introduced him to a hot versatile couple I play with sometimes in the Bronx, and it was the first time I saw him slammed (he’s done so very infrequently)… it was amazing to watch him truly relax and just have FUN while the four of us flip fucked and enjoyed each other all around. So we've now partied together - one on one, which is unusual for me - several times now and the sessions have been awesome. We also relate on a number of other levels including having husbands with physical disabilities, and its great to have someone to talk about that with as well - its been double bonus time for both of us!