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SomewhereonNeptune

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Everything posted by SomewhereonNeptune

  1. SomewhereonNeptune
    You make really good points, but here is where I part with your premise. When I say 'emotional', I mean argumentation that is not based on purely factual reasoning. These are the "2 + 2 = 4's" of the world, things that we've proven with evidence. Like we know that base water is composed of 2 hydrogen molecules and 1 Oxygen molecule. Fairly standard information that we've come to know as factual. On your corporate culture points, I know it well since I've lived a life in IT project management. I could breakdown the cost-benefits and ROI or NPVs of a project only to get pushback from other executives who had personal agendas ('your project might be the best thing for the organization, but it will mean that my group will be marginalized and put at risk for losing my budget or their jobs, so I'll block you for various reasons, none of which have any basis in fact'.). I've seen it far too many times to mention to the point that I might get angered about something, but rarely get emotional or take it personally. I agree that emotions can run amok over rational, logical, and factual decision-making. The element you might be referring to could be the "gut instinct", which actually has a lot to do with our anatomy and our gut affecting our health. "Trust your gut" does have some relevance. It may be a sign of high EQ or emotional intelligence to have an ability (innate or learned) to compartmentalize the emotional elements of an action or situation against intellect or fact. None of us want to hear law enforcement making a decision to prosecute us based on 'just a feeling that he/she committed a crime' versus the actual evidence that leads to the conclusion. I'll let our friends from Britain opine on the famous stoicism or lack of emotional feeling or want to express any emotions. Just try to get them into therapy. 🤣🤣
  2. SomewhereonNeptune
    But it doesn't need to be. Where it goes sideways is when people let emotions dictate rather than facts. People can generally debate facts but you cannot argue emotions or feelings. If you tell me, "I hate you, you suck", that doesn't help me as feedback because it isn't supportable in an argument based on facts.
  3. SomewhereonNeptune
    I do moderation on another site (more locally oriented, not specific to LGBTQ+ topics) and there is a clear set of guidelines that all members are advised to follow in keeping with the site's purpose. It can be easily summarized as this: It's ok to disagree without being disagreeable. I think some folks tend to forget that. I remind people on this other very local site that the person they may be vitriolic toward could live right next door. Something to consider that there is a real human being behind the words. In diplomacy, it's not so much what you say but how it's said. There are persuasive ways to make an argument, then there are those that make the poster feel like they've been continually whacked over the head with a baseball bat. I know I'm perhaps the outnumbered minority here, but I believe firmly that both sides should have a voice without being shouted down. That's why I've avoided some of the topics here because there are those on the other side of the discussion that have made BZ less than welcoming to others. This. And I've avoided some folks -- and some topic areas -- since they've demonstrated lack of tolerance to any point of view that isn't in total agreement with theirs. I stopped using the red arrow and now just avoid them as being vexations to the soul. I think if there were greater acceptance of differences in views we'd all be a lot better off. And so would BZ. Be happy, life's too short. I wonder how many people voted with their feet and just walked away as I did years ago. Yes, I'm back but wiser now for who and what to now avoid.
  4. SomewhereonNeptune
    85. Somehow, this feels like the gay purity test and I haven't done most of the craziest things on this list. Meaning I've led a more sheltered existence than most others. Need to live a little. My score would be a lot lower if you took the items out that only apply to guys.
  5. SomewhereonNeptune
    Kinda like saying there's been more men in you than half-price wing night at a Hooters? 🤣🤣
  6. SomewhereonNeptune
    Simply put, it's consent. Now that may involve CNC or a bit of coercion, but that's still consent because I talked you into it and you agreed. If you say "anything you want" however, you'd be leaving that open and some people might take that as "Well, you did say anything."
  7. SomewhereonNeptune
    Such a shame to waste that Poz load though.
  8. SomewhereonNeptune
    @ChainedBoy seems surprised by this, and I wonder why? The church has done very little to acknowledge and combat the issue, and I knew situations where the practice was to move the abusive priest to another parish, or further yet, another diocese. I knew one personally that abused a minor, was arrested, copped a plea deal and was sent to a 'rehabilitation facility' in Canada for a year, only to return to a different Archdiocese in an adjacent state to go on to diddle other kids. Once things go sideways with these guys, they reassign the problem elsewhere far enough from the prior parish hoping that it'll go better elsewhere. Now during that time, this priest taught religious education and there was a lot of side comments on how much he 'liked younger boys', something you would think the school would have realized and not put temptation right in front of him for 6 periods a day with freshman and sophomore students. [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.bishop-accountability.org/reports/2005_09_21_Philly_GrandJury/Philly_05_08_Connor.pdf Eventually he was finally defrocked. During the 90's, I attended a party with friends who invited a couple of seminarians, and they very clearly gay and also spoke in hushed tones about how much fun they could have once assigned a parish. You could see where that might end up. And with so few inclined to be celibate and join the priesthood, the church will take anyone they can get and probably continue to pay the price and settle damage claims from pedophile priests for the foreseeable future. I personally don't care if a priest is gay, but the hypocrisy over acceptance of gays (which they've tacitly done) while basically condoning molestation can be infuriating. Can we talk about Scout Leaders next? 🤣
  9. SomewhereonNeptune
    A4A being Christian Mingle for gays? Really??? I figured that Portland would have a much more progressive stance on that sort of stuff. Here -- at least in Florida but also in other parts of the East Coast -- it's a hookup site, and not necessarily a great one for guys who actually want to get out from behind the keyboard. Your mileage may vary. Now that you put it that way though, I can see your point. For parTy stuff back here, it seems to be more NastyKinkPigs. Doublelist reminds me a lot of Craigslist, not always in a good way. Lots of ad bait postings for 3rd party sites, but I guess they need to make money somehow.
  10. SomewhereonNeptune
    Noooooo!!! Say it isn't so! The Adonis is gone? Fuck, I've had so many good times there, loved the dark room and the cruisy nature of the place. Damn! Has anything else emerged to take its place, or are they trying to Disneyfy Center City and sanitizing it like they did Times Square. I recall the two in SW Philly, plus the places along Route 13 in Bristol and Levittown outside the city. No dark room, but they'd leave you alone to do what you wanted.
  11. SomewhereonNeptune
    It's been a little over 6 years since I was in Philly, and the usual 13th Street district had changed completely to Millennial coffee shops that charge $9 for a cappuccino. Has the rest of Philly lost all of the good parts that it was known and loved for?
  12. SomewhereonNeptune
    Hello my dear, I am a Nigerian Prince who is lonely and wants to meet someone for a long-term romantic relationship and to be my husband. 🤣🤣🤣 I've actually felt pretty checked out on Adam4Adam because the contacts that I get are generally the sort that are very verbose, ignore any sexual questions about them and (allegedly) want "a long-term romantic relationship that leads to marriage." On a hookup site?!? Really?? That's pretty sus if you ask me, so they get blocked or ignored. The other thing about A4A that gets annoying is that as much as you say No Pic=No Chat, you'll get a dude with a fairly blank profile and no pic. WTF? To send a smile, you need to read the profile, so I figure they're also bloody stupid or we aren't operating on the same side of the IQ bell-curve to put it nicely. At least on BBRT you get a more serious crowd who wants to fuck and isn't totally flakey for the most part. The owner might be a tool but I'm not there to fuck him.
  13. SomewhereonNeptune
    Hey, did something happen with SilverDaddies recently? I hadn't been online in a couple months (ok, 2024) and found that my ID would no longer work. I'd had gaps previously, but wondering if they did a purge?
  14. SomewhereonNeptune
    I've considered myself bi for years, and on that count, pussy can generally feel and taste so much better and offers ease of access without lube. There are some occasions where it can feel like rolling a hot dog down a hallway, but the majority of pussy I've had is comfortably snug. And I don't mind squirting if fucking her gets her to that point. You've hit on the sticking point, though: Men can be a lot more intense sexually and the chemistry is undeniable. If I'd have found that woman who was as sexually intense and 'freaky' as a guy can be, I'd probably be content sticking with pussy. But that's a big "If" because with women you get the games to just get pussy access, which is why I'm suspecting more and more guys are red-pilling. Yes @hntnhole, but you aren't bi. And I'm pretty sure you and many others are thankful for that. 😃 I had one who would ride me all night and leave my dick looking like a glazed donut. Huge sexual appetite. But man, going down on that was rank so something was clearly wrong there. So it can be pretty tasty, but so often the ones who want you to go down on that aren't the ones you enjoy going down on (or you feel like you need a gallon of mouthwash later to get the taste out of your mouth). 🤣 Or you gain a better understanding of why dogs lick their ass. 🤣🤪
  15. SomewhereonNeptune
    I'd argue much as others do that the other party's relationship is their issue, not mine. Whether they're open or cheating really doesn't make any difference to me as much as it might their partner. I'd rather have an open relationship. If the inclination is that I'd want some spice and variety besides my partner, perhaps even threesome play. Being with someone you know is cheating as a bit of a [banned word] element to it that makes the sexual tension all the hotter. And I've cheated before, but it was largely because I found the other person to be a cute diversion and we knew it was hot and sexual, and those were things I wasn't getting from my relationship at that time. There was so much pressure on taking things into a marriage while glossing over the obvious problems that were there, and ultimately I just ended things rather than banging my head against a wall to make my partner understand that we weren't in tune with each other. And by that point, I was leaving that relationship regardless of whether there was another relationship (including the person I cheated with), and that was the right decision. We had chemistry when things were on the DL that no longer existed when we weren't. As hot as the cheating sex was, it wasn't a foundation for anything more. "Casual sex is an empty experience, but as far as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones." - paraphrasing Woody Allen.
  16. SomewhereonNeptune
    So I'm wondering what this does for Ethyl Chloride (Maximum Impact). As of now, I'm still seeing that advertised and available for sale. [think before following links] https://desertmischief.com/products/maximum-impact-vhc There was one potentially true statement in that article about poppers being part of a balanced breakfast...errr...part of a gay lifestyle. But then you could also say that all those who use them AND test positive drink water or breathe air too. So what of it?
  17. SomewhereonNeptune
    I'd think if you say you were a Vers/Top, there's some component of 'Vers" that suggests in the right situation that person would bottom. And vice-versa if someone says they're Vers/Bottom, there's some chance that they'll top. I've topped all my life, but I list Vers/Top because...well, honestly, I might enjoy switching roles if I get the right vibe from someone. Or they're just so hot I want them fucking me. 😈 So are bottoms like buses, where everyone gets to ride? 🤣 (Sorry, open door there, couldn't resist). Yeah, I kinda doubt in the fuckjoints that anyone's getting on a Christmas Card basis with someone, or chatting and asking "What's your sign". Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so maybe someone is finding something interesting (or feeling) since guys might not pick up on subtle clues. We're pretty straightforward. But to the other points, if someone tells me they're somehow Vers, I take them at their word. You always get to decide 'yes or no'. Maybe your vibe is "Total Top" and Vers actually doesn't come into play for you?
  18. SomewhereonNeptune
    Given the experience that a lot of guys had in younger years with priests (maybe as altar boys getting flute practice), I see the logic in a church-as-cruise-spot. And every Unitarian service I've ever attended has been more like a seminar panel than a church service, so the comment about 'squishy' rings true for me.
  19. SomewhereonNeptune
    Answered in another thread, but one was clergy (guess which religion) and the other was a somewhat distant friend, both at 15. I won't say my first experience with either gender but it was really, really, really young and posting that here would probably get me banned. Let's just say kids can get curious and we both were, and she took "Doctor" play very seriously. 😉
  20. SomewhereonNeptune
    15, he was 46 and 'one of those priests'. I instigated it...that time. 😈 I'd heard rumors about him, and one day while out biking, I passed by the local haunt where guys would cruise for other guys. There was his blue panel van with all the rugs and pillows on the floor. I caught him by surprise and was the aggressor this time (he'd tried to engage me before). I decided that was the right time, so I parked my bike against the passenger side of the van and made it clear I was interested. I was horny, I wanted to experiment and I knew what he was there for. So I hopped in and we went at it in the back of the van. Not too much later in the same year, a slightly older friend (17) came out to me and we fooled around. He wanted to fuck me but he was small, constantly came in his shorts before he could even get it up, and he couldn't get hard enough to top me. Obviously that didn't go down so well. He did the same thing with a mutual friend, we've since talked about how clumsy it all was and had some laughs. 😂🤣 No regrets on either, other than wishing I'd started earlier on and had more fun when the opportunities arose, but I was really dense in reading signals. I feel like I missed a lot by being timid and not taking chances. As someone else said, I knew from an earlier age that I was either bi/gay/pansexual or...just a freak. If I could wind the clock back, I wouldn't be as scared to experience things.
  21. SomewhereonNeptune
    I'm just shy of 60 now and I don't necessarily look it (no wrinkles, no crow's feet, no clear indications found in most men of a certain age). Recently hit on by someone 34 who couldn't believe my age. Same with a 29 year old who thought I was hot (I'm modest). It was weird at first for me, but I'm not complaining because -- again, bisexual perspective -- most women my age look that much plus a few, and guys haven't figured out you can't do constant sun without using facial products. I've stopped saying my age unless directly asked, then I'll let them guess. 😉
  22. SomewhereonNeptune
    Too late, almost did. Many years ago I was being recruited by a bank in Perth for a role there. Things ultimately didn't pan out, but I was actually looking forward to the adventure. Ok, maybe not the heat and remoteness though.
  23. SomewhereonNeptune
    I once worked with someone in Tucson who lamented his choice of locale. Heat is heat...sorta. Spent 2022 in the UK during their record heat (40C or 105F where I was) where no one had air conditioning, including the friends with whom I stayed. I consider us fortunate here because we deal with it better. OTOH, they have rail tracks that melt and warp and tarmac that becomes like the La Brea Tar Pits when it exceeds around 95F. Runways melted. I'm not kidding. I wouldn't consider Palm Springs. The lifestyle might be really fucking awesome, but it's a desert and as you said, they're racing headlong into water issues. Makes St. Pete look pretty good. 😊
  24. SomewhereonNeptune
    That was the problem with the Philippines as well. 9 degrees north of the equator and living in 90 degree temps with equal humidity percentage and not much breeze. Makes hydration an issue and their public water isn't potable. I can confirm that it's like Hell in summer. And I stayed with friends who had screens and fans, no air con, so if you like heat, imagine that same temperature air being blown around in a hot little house. Baguio isn't bad because of the elevation and cooler climate. I'd wondered if Thailand had the same issues. The government stability worries me as to what next week's coup would be, but I'm not sure it changes very much for the average person. I've heard it compared to the notion of turning "Titanic" into a weekly series: at the end of each episode...the ship sinks. That or Groundhog's Day. 🤣 I don't think I'd settle in a city like Bangkok or Pattaya or Phuket, but don't know.
  25. SomewhereonNeptune
    Thanks for the perspectives. Two countries are popping up on my list if I liquidate here and pick up for there. Philippines is one, though not Metro Manila, because I know people there. So I'd have a support structure. Thailand is the other, and I've heard great things about it but I need to hear more. Can you share your perspectives on having visited and whether a semi-adventurous traveler could have or make a life there? Would love to hear them if you want to DM.

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