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So sorry for all that you have been through may your life get better with other's herein to guide you through the process of getting meds and treatment for your new condition as many people here do know. What to do. What to say. And how to fathem your condition with family and friends. Who's stands beside you during this period of uncertainty. As there is a future for you as this is not the end. As people do live with this condition for a very long time. Many decades into the future you have. So don't worry about it so much.