My name is Guillaume, I'm 31 years old, I'm in a relationship with a woman and I even have children. I live in France. I'm asking myself some questions about my sexual orientation.
I wasn't even 12 years old when I had already seen several of my friends' cocks. We liked to jerk off together, we watched each other, we commented on them, etc.
Then, around the age of 13, I watched my first gay porn videos. I cammed with other guys, sometimes I watched older men, and I did that for several years.
I had my first girlfriend from the age of 17 to 19, but I continued watching gay porn even though I had also started watching cuckold porn. I continued to cam and went on chat rooms to talk to guys.
Then one day, while I was still in a relationship, a guy six years older than me came over and sucked me off. It was nice, but it's not my favorite thing. After that, I stopped everything (porn, cam, etc.).
Then I was single for two years, two years that consisted of jerking off to cuckold, IR, gay, and sissy porn... It was during this time that I bought myself two pairs of women's underwear and a dildo.
I then had an eight-month relationship and got back together with my first girlfriend for a few weeks, and then nothing.
In 2016, I met my sweetheart, the woman I live with and have children with. I try to hold back as best I can, but my urges are stronger, and I always end up falling back.
Since 2016, I've been jerked off by two guys in a urinal at a highway rest area. I've met a man three times, whom I sucked off to the last drop, then another a few years later, and yet another who gave me my first facial. I was so proud that day!
Since my facial, it's been quiet. I always go on sites to chat, do cams, take photos... then I discovered "cruising spots," these places, often in the middle of nature, in ruins, rest areas, etc., where men meet to enjoy themselves. But no luck, the few men I've met wanted to suck me off, while I prefer to relieve men with my mouth!
I'm ashamed because I have children, but the urges are stronger. No one knows all this. My wife is allowed to see other men (it's been a long time since she's had a lover), so I figure I could tell her after all, since she's had lovers, why not me too? But after so many years of saying I'm straight, it seems difficult. I brought up the subject jokingly once, and she told me that if I told her I also like cock, she'd take it as a betrayal because I'd never told her.
Sorry for my English.
