NiceHard1

When I first became poz, I thought it might be good to try to resume using condoms. (I obviously wasn't using them a bit to have become poz.) While I found a small number of available guys were interested, many neg guys were not comfortable with a poz guy, and most poz guys didn't want to use condoms.

I quickly decided to give up condoms in favor of barebacking, and although I certainly don't have difficulty meeting other poz guys, I find a similar dilemma with neg guys - Some are concerned about the slight risk of being with a poz/undetectable guy, while neg guys who want to become poz are less interested in undetectable guys because we don't provide enough risk to become poz.

I appreciate guys who may not necessarily be looking for HIV, but are comforable with the risk, knowing that they may become poz one day.

So, I'm looking for guys who can be open minded and appreciate everyone, no matter what degree of HIV he may have.

So I got fucked by one hot guy, and then flipped him over and gave him my load before I got his....then gave my second load to another guy..... so hoping to bottom more in SF today.... anyone available let me know I'm nicehard1 on bbrt

I'll be naked at steamworks - available to take any and all loads - wherever you'd like to give yours - in my ass - mouth - face - chest --- your choice. No reasonable offer refused!

Thinking of coming to DC and Baltimore on Saturday/

Any hot guys available and interested in hooking up

Have not gotten a place to stay yet...so leaving options open.. could even stay with someone who might be interested in hosting and fucking

Vers/top/bottom/poz here

Had a great weekend in Buffalo.... Got a hotel, and spent a lot of time with my new quasi/semi-boyfreind. (hate figuring out what to call someone!) We shared several loads together and cuddled up in the hotel. I then invited some guys over for a sex party - had 5 guys stop guy - four of us fucked each other, and took only one guy's load.....then got to cuddle with the bf again.

There are often fluffers....though usually not a separate/paid role, but usually guys who happen to be around on the set --- typically the producer or camera person will try to "help" if any guys are having trouble getting going. On the last set that I did, the hot cute boyfriend of one of the producers was hanging around, and so I went over to molest him a little, since the guy in the scene wasn't doing it as well for me! I ultimately did pretty well, and I think will have some great footage in the new film when it comes out.

I believe in being respectful of the requests of any bottom guys I'm with. As a poz top, I've been with neg guys who are comfortable with thier limits of bottoming without taking loads, and I'm cool with that if that is the request. There are millions of guys around the world every day who don't get a hot guy to fuck - so if I have the opportunity, I'm willing to work within his limits.

In fact, if I'm going to be with a neg guy, I am sure to talk about it in advance of the meeting to know what he is looking for and comfortable with. If he says he will take it, I'll let him know that he can always change his mind and say to stop if he wants. I'd rather respect his wishes and get invited back again.

People get different needs met in different ways. Communication is always important. Ask him more details regarding why he would not be comfortable --- but do it in a way to let him know that its not that you are trying to force him to do it, but that gyyou want to understand the dynamic better of your relationship with him.

But is sounds like he may consider you more special, and perhaps likes to have his pig play sessions to be more anonymous

Just arrived in Buffalo --- Hanging out and doing things today, but hoping to spend all day tomorrow (Sunday 12/11/11) naked at my hotel room, meeting hot local guys, swapping sperm. Please let me know if you're around and interested in coming by for a while to get naked and play. (ps -not into pnp - just hot bareback fucking!)

Greetings

I'm back in Buffalo - hanging out with a hot guy who I met on this site, but open to meeting more friendly, accommodating guys from Buffalo. Send me a message.

What's it like in Fort Wayne?? I've spent some time in IND and hooked up with some hot young guys at the bathhouse there. You get out there very much?? Or do you host at your place??

It is often hit and miss...just like bars, sex clubs, and bathhouses!

It can be a time waster, but can sometimes be productive.

I've sometimes met guys for sex, and then turned into friends, so you never know.

I have no trouble getting on a plane, train, or bus for great sex.

I just flew to Buffalo last month to meet a guy from this site, and swapped several loads of sperm with him over a weekend - planning to go back to see him.

I am feeling that this site might have more guys who are serious about hooking up and fucking. I'd love to meet a number of guys for individual one-on-one, or even planning out some hot group sex gatherings. Perhaps get a hotel room in a random city and look for sperm.

Anyone serious, please let me know

Important to ask if he's on meds and undetectable or not. HIV transmit ability is more a factor of the amount of viral load than the amount of fluid. several guys here posted the fact that pre-cum can carry some HIV risk. This is especially true if the the guy has a high viral load. It may be true that a full load of cum from a guy who is undetectable may be a lower risk than pre-cum firom a guy with a high viral load.

Even undetectable may not mean no risk, but many people are much more comfortable and believe that the risk is much lower. There is no proven science to say that undetecable is completely risk-free, so your choice if you are willing to accept the smaller risk that may be there

The need to have a pre-determined agenda. If I find a guy to be really hot, attractive, and interesting, I don't even find the need of asking who likes to top or bottom, or if we are going to cum inside each other or not. I find that if we are attractive to each other, once we get naked, things will work out, and I know we will find pleasurable things to do. Perhaps that is the positive thing about really loving to both top and bottom.... if a guy prefers only one or the other, I can be perfectly happy just topping or just bottoming....and then if he is vers too and we flip fuck back and forth,,,,then it is even more hot.

Also, while you're there, try to catch some of the actual MAL events. It can be easy to just hang out in the bars and your room having sex...but the actual events have some value. Its great to see all of the guys whomoare contributing to the community. The leather community has certainly been most affected by HIV/AIDS, and is as much involved as a leader in HIV care and treatment as it is in the barebacking community.

Something that I enjoy doing is hanging out at the gay deaf events. Gay deaf guys often feel like the outsiders in most places in the world...and so being is Washington is kind of on their turf...and it is humbling being in a gay bar on a deaf night and feeling like the outsider, not being able to speak the language. Be open to new experiences like that and make some friends that you might not expect to make.

I'll be there...have a room with another buddy who I've done some porn filming with. I actually love going to the different MAL events, but also plan to do a lot of fucking. My buddy is more bottom...I am more top...but love to bottom too.

Its always about giving and receiving accurate expectations. Say what you're looking for and hopefully people will actually read it.

OK, so I admit that I voted for the third option, just like everyone else. But I think that often times we get obsessed with what we see in bareback porn, and start to feel unsatisfied if we don't have as much as we see on the screen. First it was the 20 load weekend, then the 50 load weekend, and then the 1000 load fuck. OK, sure I've even participated in some of those films, and it was fun. I've had a few personal experiences of getting fucked by about 15-20 guys, but they really are few and far between. When it does happen its awesome, but when it doesn't happen, that's normal!

There are so many men in the world who go through every day and every night without getting even one load of sperm inside of themself, and so when I get one load, its a good night. If I get two, its pretty awesome.

So my advice is to have a lower expectation, and enjoy what cums your way!

Thanks for the great story. Sounds like you know what you want and like.

JP. Great posting. What I mos love is your clarity of each voice being your own. That is the key. That your choices are well thought and in concert with what and who you want to be.

I too would be delighted to meet you and fuck you

great story though!

I think that it is possible to bareback but also use some harm reduction strategies. Just because you want to bareback doesn't have to mean that you want to become poz, as you indicate. If you want to bottom though, It is important to realize that there will be some risk to it - and that you very well may become poz at some point. A harm reduction strategy is not as black and white as asking a guy if he is neg or poz. A truly neg guy of course has no risk, but you really don't know how neg he is. It may not be that he is lying, but that it may have been a while - even a short while - since his last test and he might really be poz - and with a high viral load. A guy who is poz and on meds may be undetectable and could be even lower risk than the guy who tells you he is neg. But if its been a while since the poz guy got his viral load tests and if he's not taking his meds regularly, he really may not be undetctable.

So how do you know? You really don't. You can ask some simple questions that don't sound like you're trying to take his complete medical history:

-If he's neg....."how often do you get an HIV test" - if the answer is that not for a while...hmm scratch your head...

-If he's poz... "what as your last CD4 and viral load counts?" - Most poz guys will know their numbers and be open to talking about it - even will be impressed that you know enough to have the discussion.

But the "bottom line" is that if you want to bottom, then you need to make friends with the fact that you'll probably become poz at some point.

Happy to chat more about it if you'd like

Agree. Find either a gay-friendly/pig-friendly doctor to visit, or gay-friendly health clinics. STDs do go with the turf. If you are having a lot of anonymous sex, you're probably going to have some STIs a couple of times per year, and it is important for yourself and your other partners to get regular checks.

I continue to find many of the responses of so many people on this site to be amazing and valuable. I completely agree with AO and HH on here. Great comments. It can be such a struggle to be both true to yourself and true to your partner at the same time, but it is so important to do both. You owe it to yourself to give yourself what you need, not only in an emotional relationship, but also a sexual one, which may mean getting those two things from different places. But if you want to stay with this man, it is because you care about him, and would be hurting both of you to be lying both about your desires and about what you are doing behind his back. If you start barebacking on a regular basis, and even if you only bottom occasionally, you will likely become poz sooner or later. And then even if you're only having sex with your partner occasionally, you could bring HIV to him at some point. Being open and putting it all out on the table is the only way. If he is not willing to work with you to understand that you have important needs apart from your relationship, then perhaps you might want to change the type of relationship that you have. Its important to have a partner who you can be honest with who knows what you're doing, and you know what he's doing, while you both know that you care about each other and want to be together.

I am pretty new to this site, and I continue to be impressed with the amazing thought provoking questions and equally thoughtful responses by so many people. What great words of wisdom MMM that you share.

CD - I don't have children myself, but as MM shows, many of us balance our private and public lives.

Years ago, merely being gay was something that was hidden by most people from nearly everyone out of fear of discrimination in work, housing, and even life; Many grew to be comfortable being public about being gay, but when HIV came out, many went into the closet about that aspect of themselves. Now more and more people are comfortable being out about their HIV status with family and friends. The next level is regarding the extent of our extreme sexuality. Few people share the details of the kind of sex that they have with families, and that is probably a good thing. Only on rare occasions have I seen or heard heartwarming stories - such as seeing a guy dressed in leather at a San Francisco leatherbar christmas party last year with his elderly mother (who loved hanging out with all the gay guys in leather!) Or a gay guy who I know who has a gay son, and his son texts his father when he is hooking up with a trick, and then again to let his father know that he got back home safe.

Those are pretty rare and extreme, and something that comes to few of us. You don't have to share these intimate details with your family, but the one person you have to be honest and accepting with is yourself.