blowmytop

i was a neg bb btm for five years before i converted. i never asked hiv status because after being stealthed by a guy who my friends knew to be poz but who maintained that he was neg in the aftermath, i didn't really believe that people would tell me the truth. i also felt that the result of asking status and then putting a condom condition on guys who said they were poz would have the unintended effect of rewarding liars. after the stealthing experience, i started barebacking (something that always turned me SUPER on but which i largely resisted except with BFs) because i stopped believing i could protect myself. in the aftermath of getting stealthed, which didn't convert me (got on pep right afterwards), but broke my commitment to safe sex. i made peace with the possibility of getting pozzed while i was on pep (a month of nausea and uncontrollable diarrhea during which i made peace with my mortality for better or worse and came out less afraid of risk in general). in retrospect, i think most, but certainly not all, guys would tell the truth about status, but after almost a year of dealing with neg guys who have a policy not even having "SAFE" sex with poz guys let alone raw sex, even getting blocked by guys i was merely chatting with, i can understand how poz guys like me would be worn down over time and tempted to lie about status. you should not fool yourself that you will stay neg. i thought i might have the gene, then i thought my participation in an hiv vaccine study were the reasons i was neg for so long after taking five years of as many loads as i could get raw cocks to fire up into my ass, many of which were anonymous loads from people of unknown status and most of which were in situations where status was undiscussed. the hiv vaccine study ended early because it was proven statistically not to work, and when it was unblinded i HAD received the test vaccine. four months later i was poz. there is no doubt i my (imperfect) mind that my seroconverting was not caused by the vaccine itself, given that i was neg for two years after receiving the last vaccine dose (i almost regret mentioning this because it might invite people to look for a connection). but i think it was actually the prevalence of undetectability - or reduced viral loads among the detectable - that was more the cause of my long bb neg streak. whatever you decide, i STRONGLY recommend making peace with your mortality. there are so many things that people don't do because they have their eyes on one risk, and in the end they lose the opportunity to live a dream from something TOTALLY off their radar, like a deadly accident, which is listed by the CDC as the fifth leading cause of death. HIV/AIDS doesn't show up in the top ten. (internationally, the WHO lists AIDS as one of the top three causes, so risk is different depending on location). by all of this, i am not recommending anything to you either way about bb. (oddly enough, since i seroconverted, my dislike of condoms is less than it was when i didn't have the power to infect people.) pozzing fantasies are certainly ubiquitous, i am guessing not so much because guys want to increase disease and the massive expense of anti-hiv drugs among the gay "community" (whatever that means). my personal take on it is more that is a powerful symbol of the hedonistic assertion that the JOY of NOW means more than the MAYBEs of TOMORROW. or because it is something that one man can share biologically with another, somewhat like pregnancy. i have run into many bug chasers and don't begrudge anyone their right to live their dreams, but i was less than turned on when a hookup who had been fucking me raw for awhile shot into me while screaming, "take my syphilis cum." i have run into many poz guys who either cannot relate to those fantasies or who feel a (partial) (situational) draw towards those fantasies but choose to separate fantasy from reality. i mention all of that as a sanity check on whether i was right that i wouldn't be able to protect myself by simply asking status and having discussion before sex, or whether most guys would be straight up if you asked. by that time, i don't know that discussions would have kept me from taking poz loads. in fact they didn't after awhile, as i was eventually happy to cause and contain as much liquid joy as i could for my poz and neg bros alike. nowadays, in america, assuming that healthcare doesn't change drastically or improves, the main change in my life was the sticker shock of hiv meds costs, which can vary significantly depending upon your insurance plan. maybe the ACA changed all of that. at any rate, there are so many good things in life, many of which turn out to be the opposite of each other. just listen to yourself. you will know what to do.

Took five of the most beautiful loads I've ever taken yesterday. Most powerful, uninhibited, pounding, free cocks on the planet. The nicest men, smiling at me, rooting for me while they broke my backbone. Dick is GOD.

Closest comparable was getting caught by building security getting banged raw in stairwell. We ran outside and continued, no police though.

i would love to marry a pimp

will be in nyc from late thursday through sunday looking for sperm transfer from guys who like to be in and create creamy btm whores. also looking for good sex parties, clubs and places to get bred. twee fo stephen to ceero won terry tooo fave oh!

biggest dick that has ever been in me was 10.5 and fat, and was up double with his bf, about 7.5. they knew how to open me up. ex bf ws 9.5 and fat. weird thing is that so much depends upon curve, angle, fuckmotion, etc as to whether it creates bliss for both parties. got dp'ed by two buds who fit into me perfectly, one curving out and one curving in, fitting each other so perfectly, was such an honor to help them bond in my hole.