losttop

Of course im sad about the fact that he left....but I'm also relieved.... Like u said, will just make sure that he arrived safely. No won't engage in anything more... We failed as BF... We failed as FWB ...and more importantly we failed as friends! I wasn't asking for much.... I respected him, paid for everything... All I wanted was a bit of affection and sex... Don't think that's too much to ask... It was not like he was at this place in life where he didn't want to have sex with anyone.... I would have respected that.... No ... He just didn't want to have sex with me.... Think he was trying to punish me for when we were in relationship. He expected me to leave him alone but leave him with sufficient money... So he could go and do his thing...that's not caring for someone.... That is BS! I'm sure I will find someone that is on same page as me.... Someone who can be a pig but also has a romantic side to him... Think he realizes that what he was doing was not right and that's why he left...he told me I deserved better... Well no arguments there!

I'm at home... He packed up his things and left for the US.... He blamed everything on me... I treated him like my personal whore and I was an inconsiderate asshole.... Insulting that he could say that.... While day before he was loaded up by few guys and I mistreated him!? He got on plane back to US on my costs again...he listened to music while packing, showed me poems... Care for him.... But there is something seriously wrong with him.

This morning it happened.... He left to go back home after yet another terrible fight.... Yesterday we went to the baths and he decided to let multiple guys fuck and seed him while I was there with him. With me he didn't want to do anything. To add insult to injury, he let this old ugly guy fuck him.... When I asked him about it.... He said he did it as he knew I was watching... Tonight we went out to another sexclub where he didn't want to do anything with me... After the necessary drinks and it getting kind of late ... I asked if he wanted to go home.... He pointed to some guy and he said I want him...in the end we left and it was then that I confronted him with his behavior.... He said we had spend more than 2 weeks together and that I was always creating drama...sad that he left but kind of relieved that he did. He called me an asshole which is fine.... He said he wasn't my personal whore...which is kind of ironic after being fucked by bunch of guys.... But whatever...

Really touched by all u guys responses... Some r really deep and make a lot of sense! Thanks for the PMs...really nice and very helpful...I'm not at happy place right now... It's true .... In self destructive mode...like nothing matters.... I used to be this self confident no bs kind of guy...very cocksure and with great sexual energy...nowadays it's mostly about pleasing him and trying to make him feel happy for a kind word...always ready to share my guy with others...but soon after few months he didn't want to do group thing with me.... While I knew he would do it with others.... I don't mind him playing with others...as long as he also plays with me.... Is that so wrong!? He just broke me quite a bit.... And I can't even be angry with him about that as I allowed it to happen. Have been drinking a lot lately....making myself look even more of a fool...wouldn't even know how happy feels like.. Just feel death and numb inside...

I know it isn't love.... Specially not from his side...I have been in this position few times.... But never so badly like this...think that I'm attracted to his rejection...like I'm not worthy...also miss being with someone...he knows that and probably plays with it...I think he hurts me on purpose.... Why else would be so dismissive to someone who clearly loves u...why else would u allow me to fuck u only quickly.... While u can spend a lot longer time with some old man that u just met...and then turn around and say... I did it because I knew u would be watching...

I totally agree.... I should have more self respect.... But u know, a users know to turn and twitch things around so u think u r an asshole... In all fairness I think I have been quite jealous.... But in my defense it's only because he makes me feel inadequate...I shouldn't be asking for sex or feel guilty that I am.... Don't have that with any of my FBs...he also always says that my FBs r not so good looking and then again I feel like I should be lucky to have him.... But after I saw openly some of the guys he left fuck him.... I honestly think he is full of it! I luv him.... But it's wearing me out...

Sorry if I sound dumm.... But no idea to what GUM stands for...

I know u r right.... I don't need to use an escort service as I can get enough ass.... It's not that...it's beyond a sexual thing....I really care for him and somehow he cares for me...I just don't think he does sexually. We went to a sauna today and it was just hurtful to c him going with others.... Even not so good looking ones, and him discarding me totally like I almost didn't exist...he always gives me this 5 minute special.... While apparently he can spend well over half an hour with some old ugly man...that's just being plain mean... He told me he knew I was eat him with who he went and that's why he did it....I told him I don't mind that he goes with others.... I do luv a cummy ass... But give me then some attention.... It's all too painful basically... I let him insult me.... I was basically almost following him in the sauna.... And all he could say was stop following me around...I wouldn't have to do that if I knew I was getting a piece of his ass in the end.... I know he does like group thing occasionally.... Why can't he do it with me!? Other FBs don't have a problem with it...And when I tell him I didn't enjoy the sauna he says that I'm being difficult... It's easy for a bottom to say who just puts his ass in the air and gets fucked by no matter who... It's a bit harder for a top with a bruised ego...

That's exactly how it feels...being abused. I have found a part of me that can be quite submissive.... Which I find hot...but that's only at spur of the moment during sexual encounter and not on regular basis.

Have this FB of mine who wanted to visit me in Europe....he made it clear before coming over that we would only be like friends....so no sex. I told him I found this somewhat strange as I enjoy sharing him with other guys or even play with him and other bottom sluts when he is in top mode. I also enjoy 1-1 with him.anyway... With some hesitation I agreed to it. To be honest it made me feel very insecure as I couldn't truly understand his motivations...we went to sexclub several times and he gets very drunk every time and then he says it's shit and that nobody wants to play with him as he is out of shape...after coming home he puts up a quick connect add on BBRT trying to find bottom guy to cum over and service us both...he also gets this sudden urges that when he is horny and masturbating I have to fuck him...he wants no talking...just plow him as quickly as possible and be done with it! I feel somewhat like human dildo...needless to say that there have been some drunken scenes between us when we go out due to excessive drinking. The truth of the matter is that I don't feel good with it...he claims that we spend too much time together and that he likes to be alone at times... He is a lot of times on hookup sites...when I ask him if he wants to do something together with other guy.... He tells me to mind my own business and that I should hook up on my own. I pay for everything...his flights, his stay here and when we go out, I also pay for everything as he has no job. Am I wrong to expect sex? Friends of mine say that I'm plain stupid for putting myself in this position. We r supposed to go to some gay resort later this summer.... But to be honest I don't know if I should do this...anyone ever had experience with something like this?

I post and also reply to other posts on here.... Won't deny that I can take it a bit far regarding this guy.... But it's ultimately my decision ....just think it's bit strange that some guys on here need to be offensive towards me.... If it bothers u just don't respond to it. Have to thank u for just giving ur opinion without becoming offensive .... U bring ur point across and that's just fine...

To shadowgames: think u should lighten up m8! Seems like u have mental problems urself....will turn this thread around and ask: why the fuck should YOU care!? U live in LA and r sending me to c a shrink? Lol! Lighten up people.... When I go on here it's mainly to vent and have some feedback about some issues of mine...don't want u guys to change my life....am very capable of doing that on my own! Besides have good life with good job and am surrounded by good friends and plenty FB,s....and don't need to pick up my sagging balls.... They r quite firm... Maybe can prove it to u while u bite the pillow...

Sounds like he is an asshole...

Not all the threads r about him if u read it.... A few r about me.... Don't know why u would take the time to sort it out if it bothers u... Just sayin...

Not here to be popular or say that I'm good guy and he is asshole... Of course there r always 2 sides to every story...u r missing the point... Not trying to make myself look good and saying that he is an asshole.... And u r right people only treat us as bad as we allow them.. Not saying that he treats me badly.... Just saying that he can be inconsiderate...all in all of course he is nice guy.... Why else would I choose to consider him a friend above all? I don't like how he makes me feel sometimes and I'm allowed to vent about this.... If u don't like it.... Please don't respond to my threads and move on...

Lighten up! It's not that my life evolves around this man... I'm out and about having fun with friends and FBs. Won't deny I care for him and I know he cares for me too, but I need to be realistic and realize that I have tried and that it simply did not work out! As FWB we r doing ok. I use this website to kind of vent with fellow pigs. I appreciate all feedback though.

I know men can be pigs.... I'm one myself.... I just don't go around hurting people.... Don't believe in that.

I can't cut off contact with him as I care for him and besides he is intelligent fun guy most of the time. I know that he also cares for me, which is not recipe for success I know. I think he kind of intrigues me.... He reminds me of myself in some way...my good friends say various things... Some say that I should leave him plain and simple and others say that I should just take it for what it is....good sex and nothing more and just enjoy it. The trouble is that I want and c more while there is no more. To be honest.... I think I should grow up! I have plenty of FBs but they bore me after a while.... He is different.... His craziness keeps it interesting and I have discovered my somewhat submissiveness ...which I find hot. A while back he started analyzing me jokingly.. He said that I enjoyed being abused.... Maybe he is right!

He is kind of messed up.... He seems to be able to handle his drug use.... He only does it when he knows he has no work obligations and needs to unwind. Don't like the way he treats me though... Know I deserve better.... He can say cruel things....it's not his fault as I let him...he has funny sense of humour....have feeling it's BIG mindfuck the whole thing. Ihave noticed that I am very submissive with this guy although I'm the top...it's strange don't understand it myself! I let it linger while I know he is not good enough for me!

I have plenty of friends And FBs...don't understand why I'm so determined to make it work!

Have this ex for who I still care a lot and that I c occasionally due to geographic distance... When we were together our relationship was turbulent to say the least...but there were also good times. After our last break up we decided to remain friends. I wanted to be FWB, as sex with him was always good. He didn't want this, but while back we hang out for few days and we ended up having sex 1-1 and also having sex with others....something we did when we were together and now again. The truth of the matter is that I always have had trouble reading him when we were together and even now he remains a mystery. He can be very sweet, but he can also say kind of hurtful things...although we had sex I could feel his emotional detachment. Which was hard as I still care much for him and I know he care for me too...the problem is that I worry about him as he uses drugs occasionally and I'm afraid something bad will happen to him or that he will hang out with wrong crowd. Friends of mine say that I shouldn't care and just enjoy the sex when we r together. But I just can't...I still care for him and want nothing bad to happen to him. When I last saw him, it was his idea to spend time together but before I left, he told me that I had kind of distracted him from his work. I kind found it somewhat hurtful as I travelled so long to c him. Maybe I'm just too sensitive and should I go more with the flow...

We care about each other ...it's just that sometimes he makes me feel kind of insecure with things he says...he can also be bit moody...in general, he is nice uncomplicated guy.... Don't think it will work in long run due to age difference and me trying too hard.... He is 15 years younger than me...I do look good and first he saw my id.... I could tell he expected me to be younger...

I agree... But I really do care for him... Think that if I relax he will probably relax too. He is really sweet guy

Have been seeing this guy on and off for almost 2 years now.... He has broken up with me on several occasions...although we love each other it seems not to work out... Maybe one of the reasons is that we both live in other parts of the world.... Due to my work.... I'm lucky enough to travel the globe and have long periods off and live anywhere in the world that I want. We have been strictly friends the last 3 months or so....just recently I met up with him and we ended up having sex... I had to pursue it little bit As he wanted to be just friends....anyway I told him that we could be FWB and the incredible happened... Sex was great as usual and we ended up inviting other guys over for sex. Something we both like but specially me. I find it very hot to c other guys fuck him. We talked after few days the possibility to move in together in his city. Starting off as FWB... But maybe moving on to more... We went out one evening and we were both telling others that asked about us... That we were friends ... But with possibility for more...the truth is that I can be bit overbearing...like not really giving him space and always being like touching him and watching him...I told him that I was bit clingy, when I was in love...the other day we went out and in the beginning it was really fun.... We joked around with each other and it was really fun. As night and drinking progressed his mood kind of changed... He started saying that he didn't believe that I was a friend but that I just wanted to have sex with him.... I told him that this was ridiculous and that I wouldn't travel half around the globe just for sex as I can have that anywhere I went. He got bit better after spending a bit of time on his own . I have strange feeling that he prefers guy that doesn't show feelings that much like me... Although I'm total top, I can be very romantic and sensitive when in love. What do u guys think... Should I move to his city anyway and more importantly.... Can it ever work between us?

Sometimes u have bad bottoms as well... They r unattractive or pushy...and sometimes they just lay there like a sack of potatoes...hate that! Please be verbal and let me know u r enjoying the ride! Lol