jtonic

im not really thinking about sex at the moment.

right now im scared about my viral load or cd4 count

does your doctor accept new patients? i don't have a family doctor.. would badly need one.

wait a minute, so unless i 'hide' my status, i'm screwed out of insurance?

that feels ludicrous to me, considering poz undetectable can have healthy lives

i cant believe i might be denied insurance because of this

im so pissed

so far i've been to L'Actuel. it's where i got tested so i just keep going there by default. do you know if they're ok? i havent thought about this, but it's happening so fast i didn't take time to compare clinics.

i tried talking to a few guys on sites like 411 or dudesnude.. no one wants to talk to an asian 'boy'.

Thanks I'll look into it and ask my clinic next time.

Also, anyone with HIV able to tell me whats the impact on life/home insurance, maybe travelling from Canada to the States? am i in trouble?

I'm in Quebec. i have to pay $80 for a 'franchise' every month if i start any treatment. even that is taking a toll on my budget in the near future. is there any way i can ask for financial help from a health care plan or pharmaceuticals? (im on public RAMQ regime)

I feel like I can't have a normal life anymore; I don't want HIV to dictate my life

I haven't told anyone except relatively distant friends on the internet. Any poz guys out there, even undetectable - is it always going to haunt me? Because so far, it has. I dread the doctor visits but I know I have to do it because I want to keep healthy and go on. But I'm so sad I don't know what to do.

Moving where? I'm in Canada where the meds are covered. Btw I'm not doing too well in other aspects either (financially). Trying hard to make it. So moving isn't really something I can afford.

I can't stop crying at night, I know I probably won't die from HIV. But I've been discriminated against my whole life and I feel like part of it is over now that HIV is a reality for me. I'm only in my 20s, but already dealt with a lot of pain by the so-called 'gay community' where I live. I'm gay (for one), asian (you won't believe how many guys turn me down or don't even talk to me on dating sites because I'm asian).. and now HIV+ . I despair and wonder what I did to deserve this; I have so much to offer and have been outcast all my life. I'm also scared about meds.

I need to talk with ppl.

I had a diagnosis last month.

Still waiting on test results to find out viral load and CD4 count.

In the meantime I've read up a lot about HIV treatment

But I'm struggling with the social / disclosure / normal life aspect.

If anyone can talk to me - I appreciate any support or advice

I haven't felt well for weeks

Please