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Crazy time away, spent over 6 months clean and sober and had 'help' but now back to my natural state
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A hot fag in the gym tried to cruise me a while ago and as much as i wanted to breed him I rejected him. I left feeling really proud of myself and even mentioned it to the bf who told me off and saying its not a big deal and that what i did was the bare minimum of being a good person. I felt soo fucking angry that all my hard work and sacrifice and *curbing* my instincts were not being appreciated. All the intense work and giving up my favourite things was pointless and from then it started to unravel.
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I know this is a giant [banned word] fantasy jerk fest of a site for various things. But I think most of the guys here just think you’re beautiful, [banned word] side and all. And if the response from the bf hurt that bad. At least coming from me (not expecting anything) you can reach out if you want to for some positive reinforcement. All things said and done you deserve to have a partner like anyone else and I’m proud of the work you put into it when those urges can be primarily hard to sidestep etc…. Even if you call it a slip or a few steps back. That’s not easy.