badjujuboy

20 minutes ago, bbdalbtm said:

Thanks guys, 

Thats what I kind of thought & also explains why I haven’t advanced to the next stage. It’s the mental issue I have to work on now.

You’ll do great. Remember, you do it in your own time and with someone you trust. You won’t regret it and have a good memory of the first time completely taking a fist. 

10 hours ago, BBSMKR said:

I was mentally and physically a mess and wanted it to end, but strangely at the same time wanted more! 

THIS!!! 🐷 I totally understand! The point when you overcome any doubts and let yourself accept someone to be within you on such on such intimate level. 

1 hour ago, BBSMKR said:

I just got fisted for the first time! Not going to lie it was intense, uncomfortable, vocal! And while I wanted it to stop, I also didn’t. The guy was super nice and did push me, but I was just never fully relaxed despite plentiful poppers!  Part of me loved it, but I couldn’t say it was pleasurable or orgasmic, but I’m not surprised given it was my first. Once my hole doesn’t feel like it’s been hit by a brick I’m definitely up for trying again.

Wondering what the time frame was for the experience. It definitely took a while for me the first time and that was with no poppers or anything else but just being in the moment.

There’s something about the act of sucking the cum out of a shooting cock that gets me going. Though just being there… mouth open… makes me feel like an object to be used.  

On 10/26/2022 at 10:32 AM, Justaholeff said:

Brad Mcguire and John Sullivan can both breed me!

 

This scene is one of my go to’s. Love the verbal and physical degradation John Sullivan is subjected to. 

2 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Yes, you let him cry. You listen to whatever he needs to say, without judgment. If he seems to need a hug, you give him one.

---------------------------------------------

This does not mean his problem is for you to fix. It simply means that everyone needs a shoulder to lean on at some point, and not everyone has access to one. Perhaps he does not, and you, casual acquaintance as you are, may be the closest thing he has.

 I would suggest that you simply listen. Do not advise unless asked, but ask questions that lead him to expand on how he feels, in order to help him sort out his emotional disarray on his own. Be supportive, and be kind.

Totally agree... be just be there...  As @ErosWired said., "Do not advise..." As you haven't mentioned the specific situation and don't expect it to be revealed, you might add something along the lines of  "What do you need... what can I do?" as an offer/question on your part, if appropriate  and you are able to consider fulfilling on your part. Sometimes just being able to verbalize internal conflicts is the first step in a person's journey forward.

On 10/16/2022 at 11:32 PM, Treehugger said:

The first time I blew my first boyfriend he shot a huge load that spilled out of my mouth leaving a milky trail that dried there. We were going to a movie and he suggested I wash it off but I wanted to leave it there. I loved him so much it turned me on to have his ‘mark’ on me in public. 
     When I would do my walk of shame from the bathhouse back to my apartment in the wee hours of a New Orleans morning I could always smell the men whose asses I ate and cocks I sucked in my beard. It was heavenly. I would sniff hard all the way home and would have to jack off again before I started my day. 

I love having any remnants of a fuck/suck dry on my skin. One of my favorite things was waking up later after a guy went home and feeling the dried tight feeling of it after he left. These days, I get to wake up to my bf licking the dried crust and mix it with his spit and snowballing me.

1 hour ago, Sharp-edge said:

Plus, a small question.

I always had a feeling that in english the word love is a little weird. A mother loves her child, two bfs love each other and then we have the "being in love".

In greek we have "Eros" which means being in love, it's always erotic, it won't be used for relatives etc

We also have "agapi" which is just love (such us mother-child). Is there a commonly used verb that means in love but without using the same verb as love? 

Perhaps so…

For instance in Spanish, there is querer and amar. They may be considered  interchangeable but I consider “Te quiero” to be love in a nonromantic fashion (mother/child, friends, etc.) vs. “Te amo” as to designate the emotional/romantic version between two people.

English does seems to lack nuances of some other languages.

The first time I took a fist from my Daddy: “Daddy is home now cunt.”

2 hours ago, Everopen said:

Is it long term if I let him stay the whole night? 

Only if you serve a full breakfast!  No continental style! 😜

4 hours ago, KylerIsTrash said:

I’ve always strugged with sex in a LTR. I have a high sex drive but without fail, once I’m in a relationship, I’m no longer interested in sex with my partner.  I’ve had a lot of hard conversations about this and I think it results from 1) I like anonymous hookups (once I know someone the sex is no longer anon) and 2) the drive to have sex with my partner gives way to other forms of intamacy (the emotional relationship replaces the physical). 

I swear I could be dating the most attractive and boner-inducing guy and I’d lose interest in fucking after a couple months. It causes discord because my partner wants to continue fucking me and I’m always the one saying I want to go fuck everybody else.

I’ve tried doing the open relationship but feelings always get hurt when I show more sexual interest in the randos. Also discovering T can fuck up a relationship pretty hard (Don’t do drugs 🤣). 

@KylerIsTrash Been there... the only relationship I had where we had moved in together ended when the desire ended quickly.  I had a yearly check-up and talked to my doc about it. I even had a testosterone level check.  The results were fine and that's when I realized that it was that I just wasn't into it anymore. For now, my bf and I have are own places where we can go to be on our own if we want though most nights we're together.

I've also been the one that has played with couples. The one that I enjoyed the most ended when I ended up seeing one on the side without the other. The side one kept it a secret from his husband but it eventually came out when he started to notice how side and I were when the three of us were together. The three of us also would play with a few others at times. The last time I saw them, we had met another guy and the four of us went back to their place.  The side fucked the other guy while the other fucked me. After fucking me, he basically said that it was getting late and they needed to cut the session short. The side was surprised but... what could he say? That was the last time I got together with them.

17 hours ago, versmetropig said:

Since @TaKinGDeePanalmentioned me, I'll jump in here. My husband and I have been together for 33 years (and married legally when it became legal in NY in 2012). We have had, since our second date a sexually open relationship - both of us had lost our first partners in our 20s, his to testicular cancer, mine to AIDS. We are currently 59 (me) and 63 (him) years old. We met as him 100% top and me 90% top, Me = HIV positive since before 1985, him still HIV negative 33 years later.

When neither of us is performing he works nights and I work days - meaning for the vast majority of these 33 years except when we were  performing in a show TOGETHER, I was alone on Friday and Saturday nights. Frankly, he was happy for me to go out to a sex party or sex venue and play around rather than sit home doing nothing or go to a bar where any guy I chatted with was likely looking for more than a one-night hookup.

That said, for the first 21 years of our relationship, we had sex ourselves at least 5 nights if not 6 nights a week. And with him, sex wasn't just sex, it was if you'll pardon the mawkishness making love along with sexual release. Very different from just sex with a buddy. Yes, many nights it was fairly quick and mostly oral, but we still connected on a sexual level and enjoyed it thoroughly even while both of us enjoyed extra-curricular activities both together and alone.

Unfortunately, Rheumatoid Arthritis runs in his family and it hit him early, by the 21st year of our relationship, sex began being painful for him, a few years on it stopped pretty much completely as even receiving a blow job from me caused too much pain, and he was no longer getting hard (which mortified him) and he just turned off sexually, in the intervening 10 years we have had sex a total of 3 times. At first I was devastated, my libido still in overdrive (as he always says), but also the romantic sexual connection between us was something extremely special that doesn't happen in other sex and I really really missed - and still miss - it.

Of course, that led to guilt on his part, and hurt. loss and admittedly a bit of anger on my part. But I'm not a monster, I can see he was in so much pain, and much as it hurt me to do so, I had to start kind of numbing myself to the fact that there was a naked man beside me in bed every night whom I dearly loved and still found sexy, AND I COULD NOT TOUCH OR SUCK OR PLAY WITH HIM AT ALL. It's still somewhat of a challenge - and he is frankly quite grateful that we set up our relationship the way we did so that I can still enjoy the sexual experiences I've always enjoyed (me having always been much more adventurous and kinky than him and getting into scenes he wasn't into when I play own my own) and continue to have a sex life even though his he feels is quite done. I will always maintain hope that some day some time... but realistically its not likely to happen.

Why do we stay together? Because much as I'm a sex freak, that's not ALL there is to a relationship, especially not one that's lasted this long - one based not only on sexual attraction, but mutual interests, mutual goals, healthy intelligent conversation (even after 33 years), mutual love and respect, and the fact that he's also my best friend. Although this isn't the way I'd prefer our life to be, neither of us will ditch all we have because one of us is still a horny bastard and the other has lost interest in ALL sex, not just in his husband.

Does that help @badjujuboy? Feel free to IM if you want specifics on how our open sexual relationship works and how we keep from getting jealous... 

Thanks for your perspective @versmetropig. It's interests me to hear different thoughts on this. My bf and I do have an open relationship and have from the start. I'm 100% bottom and he's vers. Sometimes, he definitely craves a cock in his cunt which I can't oblige.... it's just not in me to do it but enjoy knowing and at times watching him experience it. It makes me actually more attracted to him as I enjoy servicing other subs/bottoms. I've had many FWB, so I know the difference between sex for sex's sake and sex with an emotional attachment. It was a journey though.

As I've posted before, we're only two years into this and hopefully, we'll have the opportunity to see where ours leads us. It's ours to develop and make work for us. It's the relationships where a couple seems to be stuck (no sex/we're only together because of mixed finances; the only way I get these days is by my hand, etc.) that discouraged me and prompted me to just put this out there.

19 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

Not saying you (or anyone else) should stick with a relationship if you (or he) doesn't want to.

I'm just saying that a relationship can be built on things other than sex, and that it can be preferable to be partnered with no remaining sexual interest (and getting whatever sex one wants elsewhere) rather than being single. Maybe not in your case, and that's fine. 

@BootmanLA Thanks for this... I'm interested in the range of thoughts on relationships that move towards no sex.  My post may definitely appear jaded but that is my thought on this. Perhaps it will change. After all, it’s only been two years. Rereading my post, I should have stated that my response about splitting finances was something I've said in the past but, as in today's conversation, I just listened without a response which got me thinking about different views.

13 minutes ago, barebackbro said:

I don't want to be blunt, but you don't seem to  place much store in love, @badjujuboy. Your post seems to suggest that a partner = roommate + sex, without any emotional element.

@barebackbro If it seems to be that I didn't add an emotional element to my post. It's because I equate those emotions as being a de facto part of the relationship... without the emotional element, there would simply be a sexual relationship which I have been in too.

16 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

I think it depends on the length and depth of the relationship.

Two years in? Yeah, I'd say call it quits, move on, and try to find something that fits better.

Ten years in? It's not necessarily just intertwined financials. It's shared pets, shared experiences, shared traditions, not to mention deep affection that goes beyond sex. Just like married straight couples sometimes stay together even if sex has waned, gay couples can do that too.

The point is that gay relationships, being already somewhat transgressive, don't have to stick with the same rules as other people's. The relationship can be based on, and include or exclude, any factors the participants wish.

One thing to remember is that as we age, the number of potential relationship partners may well decline just as the number of potential sexual partners declines. If the pools of both are shrinking, the chances of finding someone who's a member of both pools can be a lot tougher. So ditching someone who's otherwise a great relationship partner in hopes of finding someone else who's both a great relationship partner AND a good sexual outlet may not be the best bet some people can make.

@BootmanLA I guess I misrepresented my current relationship.  Everything is fine in mine and we were (and have in the past) discussed this topic.  It's just the fact that I was speaking with a friend today and it came out that hasn't had sex with his husband for a long time... we're talking years. I had another tell me it had been seven at the time in the past.  I just find it hard to imagine that part being nonexistent. Thus, I'm ok with being single if I can't have that. As you said: gay relationships are already somewhat transgressive and don't have to stick with the same rules as other people's.

I thought I'd get some perspectives on long-term relationships and sex.  I've been in a great relationship for a couple of years now... actually the longest I've ever been in. One thing that I've experienced is talking with guys who have been in long-term relationships (10+ years) and most of the guys end up saying they are no longer sexually intimate with their husbands, partners, etc. My bf and I have begun to talk about this fact. As I've said to my friends in the past, I can't imagine being in a relationship that does not include sex and don't see myself ever changing that.

I'm wondering what others might think about coming to terms with no sex relationships. Would you continue in it and find your needs somewhere else or end it? Quite a few times, I've been the one that has been sought out by the one who still needed sex. I would ask them why they continue on in the relationship. I get the "cause our finances are mixed" and such to which my response has always been "Split the finances and get out. Why settle? I don't need a roommate." 

On 8/31/2022 at 11:53 AM, alwaysready said:

one of my hottest sexual experience was a one off around noon the first day of the card's baseball season. i had taken the afternoon off and a guy i met came over. we had great sex, with him on top; it was a hot day, the windows were open and drops of his sweat started to ping on my face and body. i don't remember much else about the sex, other than it was good; but i will never forget how much i enjoyed that sweat shower.

Mixed with scent of a sweaty crotch and I’d be totally in his control.

On 9/27/2022 at 5:04 PM, cuminfrombehind said:

“ I'vehad my share of a lot of pussy, and my occupation has me in charge of people and things...
It's almost like I want to remove myself from that world temporarily and completely submit to cock..“

The above is a big tell. There is the trope of those in power seeking to relinquish their power and ultimately be the sexually submissive one… It’s what you’re looking for:  “remove myself from that world temporarily.”   I can relate to a certain extent. At work, I’m in charge and call the shots but in the “bedroom” I’m the opposite. As others have said… sexuality is a spectrum and you seem to have moved along it. You need to examine your feelings and work through them.  

My ultimate… getting the boots off a motorcycle cop after he fucks me. 

Still can remember my first time… the top grabbed my face and squeezed.  I knew what was coming and I instinctively opened up and accepted the gob. I didn’t think twice…

10 hours ago, NLbear said:

I never touch my cock when I'm being fucked. I cum handsfree quite a lot. Usually when I'm fucked on my back but also doggie (my fav).

Anal orgasms are rare but have happened. 

This pretty much… the most explosive hands free was my first …although not anal… the top was fucking me while on my back and I was rubbing my spread sweat and lubed slicked thighs the whole time while keeping my hands off my cock. Suddenly, I felt the most intense feeling and came while still semi-hard. 

Totally into getting rimmed. My most memorable experience was meeting a guy upstairs in a bar. He saw me and spread his legs and showed me his cock.  I dropped to my knees and began sucking him off. Next thing I know he turns me around and unbuckles my jeans. Now at this point I’m leaning over the railing looking down expecting to be fucked. Next thing I know I’m feeling his tongue working my cunt and I’m going crazy as I’m trying to act like I’m just looking  over the crowd downstairs drinking a beer. After about 20 minutes of him eating me out, he stands up and starts fingering me and tells me I’m ready and it’s time we go to his place.  It was a fuck I never forgot.

15 hours ago, RawPlug said:

I got confused with the hanky code as I’ve always struggled to tell left from right 😉. Would it be something else to baffle me?

Do what I do… raise your hands up in front of you… palms facing out and stick  your thumbs out. Your left hand makes an “L”   😀

I would take stuff like this with a grain of salt. The media seems to over exaggerate things like this… for instance there is a story out about the FDA warning about cooking chicken with NyQuil. WTF?!!  
 

Though, I can imagine them handing out eggplant and peach stickers as you’re getting on the ship for a gay cruise. 

I had one Daddy that never fucked me. It was always me between his thighs sucking his cock. TBH, I never really thought about him fucking me. It was always about me servicing his cock and that it was  how he wanted things to be. Now if he had suddenly stopped or severely limited the fucking, I would be confused. Though I wouldn’t have known how to react to that.