HardaddyMA

don't leave us hangin like this dude!!!!!!!!!!!!! may we have more please?????????????????????????

I feel that the writer is asking a fair question- how tightly inter-woven anyone's notion of what the idea of being a  PROUD GAY  man and  the most primal meaning of  BEING AND FUNCTIONING as the POZ-MAN  I think I am?  After being POZ for over 33 yrs---- I cannot separate these parts of myself.

BTW: pics on this thread are SMOKIN!!!! Thanks for sharing dudes!!!!!

TWO POINTS:

1). "My cock and balls are too sensitive- I cannot take any pain."  Every time I had a sub who said that to me; I would get out a thin silk rope and a feather. Gentle/pleasurable stimulation is just one step on a journey. I explain to my sub that the nerves in your cock and balls that feel the pleasure of a gentle stroke or even my breath on your tied up balls are the same nerves that, in time, can build up a tolerance for the increased stimulation of more serious slaps, tugs and twists. The amazing part is that once my bottom understands that recognizing the difference between pleasure and pain is so tied to nerves and mostly happens in the brain; it changes the whole understanding of what is happening to his cock and balls!

It is about a sub focusing on feeling 'the pain' when it comes and riding thru it- my pain training for a boy is about our developing a relationship with 'intense pleasure' becomes the final goal- which, if you ask some men who love pain will tell you is the altered mental state they enter with the training/support takes them to a new level of understanding about their body, their genitals, and the whole meaning of sharing a profound connections with an experienced and respectful MASTER. I am not an advocate for what I describe as 'meaningless pain' which to me is just one man inflicting violence and brutality on another - but I am not about to judge anyone who WILLINGLY participates.  Pain as an instrument of training and control and getting into your sub's mind is what I strive for, and over 40 years of being a DOM I have met dozens of subs/bois/bottoms who I enjoyed exploring that journey of exploration together.

2). Some of my most enjoyable ball-torture scenes include: singing off a bottom's ball and crotch hair, tying up a cock and balls with a wet string of leather, which slowly shrinks as it dries, covering a stretched ball-sack with SLOWLY DRIPPED hot wax a cinched-up swollen red set of boi-balls and then slapping the chilled/hardened wax off with a belt or strap and then finally putting a plastic bag full of ice cubes on the balls.  The bottoms I had the pleasure of performing some of these acts upon were the ones with whom I felt the most intense bonds and profound links, emotionally and psychologically. Again, I do not practice these s/m acts without a bottom willingly being involved.

Your situation is an enviable and precarious one- I read about your desires and passions with great interest and arousal.  My experiences when I was younger as a hard-driving POZ-TOP makes me want to strongly encourage the both of you to submit to the passions and hungers you have described here. I would caution you that you must BOTH want this to happen with all your hearts- the slightest doubt or hesitation would definitely poison your relationship; if you find yourself regretting taking this ultimate act of submission and bonding, OR if your lover suddenly feels guilty for 'destroying your life' and taking away your 'healthy negative life'. This would very likely be the end of your relationship, if either ofyou are  less than honest.

My experiences in the early 2000's in taking 'med holidays' seems to have little cost to my health, though I was infected with HIV for over 12 years BEFORE I was diagnosed and started medications- so my viral load was extremely high when I began my treatment. My 'med holiday' lasted for over nine months,  since the criteria for ending the holiday was maintaining a CD4 of over 200- which I was able to do. There were at least two sexual partners of mine that benefited from my high viral load during this time, which was well in the 600-800,000 range. Remembering the incredible experiences of their knowingly submitting to intense and prolonged raw sex, power-fucking and love-making, which created for my partners and I the unbreakable bond of the virus we shared took both our sex-play and our relationships to a new and powerful level.

I was able to return my viral load to near undetectable within 4 months after- but this as well as the 'med holiday' were both accomplished under a doctor's supervision.  IF the current pandemic/Coronovirus shutdown was not in place, there is a fair chance that I might have successfully gone off my meds yet again and fulfilled the dreams and fantasies of one of my submissive partners by now. Knowing the intensity and the passion of sharing this experience with a man, I would support finding a 'third party' to infect you only if you BOTH decide it would be preferable.   I encourage you to make your fantasies real - it is a connection that few humans share and it will be something you will thank eachother for every day!

boi- you are obviously living the dream of dozens, if not hundreds of subs and sex-slave wanna-be's on this site! From the vantage point of your Black DOM- there are about a half-dozen subs and bois that I would have loved to have with me in lock-down and social isolation here at my cabin in the woods- it would be fascinating to hear your DOM's perspective- Either way- you need to count your blessings and I for one am grateful that you have shared with us your unique experiences! PLEASE! Keep us updated- you two are probably the only two people on the planet who don't want this C-virus shutdown to end!

“So you think you need to know what happens now, boy? Now that DAD has FINALLY shoved this POZ-ROD deep in your ass! How long have you been dreamin about this night? Three months? Four? All that time you have been sitting at home late at night on-line jerking-off, watching DADDY stroking THIS on the webcam? Craving it like you have NEVER needed or wanted anything in your life? You should have seen the huge smile on your pig-face when that first hot load of POZ exploded in your hungry, bloody ass!

Look at you. Kneeling here naked, your hair and beard smelling of spit and sweat and DADDY-piss, your nips hot, raw, pink and swollen so pretty. And you told DADDY you didn’t think you were into nip-play? Guess DADDY is gonna have to spank you again for lying about how much of a fuck-monkey you turned into when DADDY got your ass up in the sling, shoved your dirty jock-strap in your mouth soaked in poppers, and DADDY grabbed those hot pig-boy nips hard; your hairy cub-thighs up on DADDY’s broad shoulders while THE COCK worked its magic on your tight neg boy-hole!

So what happens next? DADDY is gonna throw you out in about ten minutes and your gonna drive home to your wife tonight with that new buttplug up your bloody Poz-injected ass and hope you can get in the door and into the shower before she gets a whiff of the sweat and piss and man-sex all over you.  And then in the morning you have to hope she doesn’t get a look at your beet-red ass and gaping fuck-hole. Then you're gonna crawl into bed with that wife tonite, your twitching hole and your sore tits are just gonna turn you on again. You're gonna lay there wide awake, hard as an 18 year old boy, and ask yourself what happened? How in the hell did a perfectly respectable 50 year old married man with two kids end up like this?

How the hell did you become a crazy fool for a DADDY-bear’s POZ-cock and wanting only to be his complete slave? Is that what you really are? After taking all this time to build up the courage to face the fact that you are nothing but a cock-hungry pig, only happy when you are on your hands and knees, naked, sore, soaked in man-piss and spit on, licking DADDY’s boots and finally trained to drink my piss. How are you ever gonna go back to your boring, empty, meaningless existence? You haven’t felt this alive since the first time you jerked off at age 14, have you?

So now you're gonna go back home and even before you get back to your front door you're gonna wish you had never left. You're gonna lay awake at night and wonder if DADDY’s nasty seed is doing its magic in your blood and turning you into that kinky fuck-pig you know you are, deep down inside, ever since the first day you saw another guy’s cock. By tomorrow you will have sent DADDY four e-mails begging for more!

It will seem like forever, but someday soon you are gonna be right back here, naked, soaked in piss and sweat, sore ass, tits and abused cock and balls and you will beg DADDY to train you, use and finish the job of taking away all the doubts and illusions about who you really are. You will be tied up and spanked, taught to suck cock for hours on end, and drink every damn drop of DADDY’s nasty man-piss and not dribble it all over the floor like you did tonight. You will know the pleasure of being just a pair of holes and a body for DADDY's total use. You will finally know what it means to be an owned-slave who exists ONLY to have his body, mind and spirit used for a MASTER’s dark, intense, greedy pleasures. Your tits will be the size of wax beans and your balls will be stretched so far you're gonna be afraid they will fall off.

In a few weeks, when the fuck flu finally claims you, that wonderful evil fire consumes your your flesh, that sickly fever, burns the last doubts out of you that you are anything but DADDY’s Poz-pig, you will crawl back for more. More fucking, more abuse, more humiliation and training to keep DADDY happy. That’s what’s gonna happen boy. That’s where you are headed now that DADDY has finally gotten those Poz-loads in your guts to match the infection in your mind, the bug of your complete submission. It’s a little late to ask now if you are ready. It's only a question of if you are finally ready to accept your fate.”

The ‘boy’ kneeling on the floor was obviously not the person he was six months earlier….

SIX MONTHS EARLIER

Aiden was always shy around other men’s bodies, not so much because he was interested in them, but because he was so embarrassed by his own, or so he told himself.  Not muscular or particularly good looking in college, he avoided as many of the usual ‘men getting physical’ situations as possible, taking golf for exercise and making sure he was alone when in the bathroom or showers of his dorm.  In his junior year of college, Aiden met a shy, attractive woman in his advanced corporate accounting classes and within 18 months they were married.

After quietly working for fifteen years in the mid-sized office of a Big Ten accounting firm, with two adult daughters at home, Aiden met Billy- a new office intern who was handsome, charming and soon the most popular man in their section of the department.  But Aiden felt profoundly ill-ease around Billy, and he had no real idea why.  In Aiden’s mind Billy reminded him of someone in his past, and that vague reminder made Aiden very nervous.  Billy was soon getting everyone in their department out for drinks on Wednesday nites to relax and let their hair down. 

At first, Aiden avoided being asked to join the crowd on Wednesday, and then when Billy finally cornered him waiting at the elevator one Tuesday nite in front of 6 co-workers, Aiden smiled weakly and agreed to go out the next nite for drinks.

After 3 beers, Aiden was headed for the can, dreading taking a piss in a public restroom. He quickly felt his piss-shyness take charge as there was only urinals available.  Aiden had no sooner gotten down his zipper and was fumbling to extract his very shrunken penis, when Billy comes crashing through the door and they find themselves alone as the noise from the bar droned on.

“So A-…..”  Billy shouted his usual greeting to Aiden as Billy walked quickly up to the urinal, pulling out his cock even before he got close to the wall, “How long is the wife gonna let you stay out getting drunk with the guys tonite?” Billy smiled revealing those slightly crooked canine teeth and leaned over.

Aiden was distracted by the sound of Billy’s piss hitting the water in the base of the urinal and he could smell the cigarettes on Billy’s breath.  “And how do you keep your pretty wife happy with THAT?” Billy laughed as he recklessly reached around the thick plastic divider between the urinals got his muscular hand close enough to get some of the piss that was dribbling out of Aiden's shriveled prick on his hand. 

Billy chucked to himself as he shook his somewhat swollen manhood at the urinal spraying the last of his beer-piss everywhere, saying” You just let Billy here know when you’re ready to learn how to use that little thing, dude,” slapping Aiden square on his cock.

Later that night, at home in bed with his sleeping wife, Aiden thought about the ‘Billy encounter’ that evening and realized to his horror that this was the first time a man had ever touched his privates. He wasn’t sure what he felt. Obviously, he was embarrassed, but he was not sure why. And why was he laying here wide awake in the middle of the night thinking about all this anyway?

The longer Aiden thought about it the more he noticed another feeling around the edges.  He suddenly felt like he was eighteen again. Why would his mind go back there? He also noticed that the more he thought about Billy’s scents: the vague aroma beer as his piss sprayed all over the urinal, that stale smoke smell of Marlboro cigarettes on his breath as Billy almost shouted those words in Aiden’s ear: “You just let Billy here know when you’re ready for me to show you how to use that little thing, dude.”

Now Aiden had a new feeling in his body – his own little cock was getting as stiff as he was back when he was that 14-year-old. His shock was soon overwhelmed by the pure pleasure he felt as he slowly fondled himself and finally got out of bed and went downstairs to the family room.  He could not settle down. His hard-on was relentless. For the first time in years he had to masturbate in the dark, sitting on the bathroom toilet with Billy’s voice in his head.

Aiden tried his best to forget the whole episode in the men’s room and didn’t really see much of Billy around the office for the rest of the work week. He didn’t think much about it over the weekend as he and his wife were out of town with one of their daughters and her family.

(to be continued)

more please!

MORE!!! please.....

so- now that you have had a half-day to think about it- do you want to go back again?

Hey NottcollaredBoi- it has been a fascinating chance to watch the evolution of your feelings and attitudes about becoming your sex-partner's 'cum-dump'. Thank you for that privilege- I just think it illustrates that every person has a unique way of going through this process- and that we have no place to judge or criticize someone!  More than ever in these less tolerant times we need to hear from as many men as possible and respect an individual's decision to follow their own path to exploration and fulfillment of their sexual desires.

Please- keep updating us - and continue to not be shy about telling it like it is for you!

I agree- don't over-think it- just open the door to something happening and see where it takes the two of you- no pressure, no rules to start- JUST ENJOY IT!

please keep us posted on any updates or 'developments'??     Always fun to see if anything ever 'cums' of it!!!  😗

Welcome to BZ- it is an amazing site and the wisdom of it's members is a great resource for a wide variety of opinions- I have 3 questions which will help me offer you a response to your question.

1). How well do you know your new friend? Is it just a sexual/sensual connection? Have you discussed/shared attitudes about sex and safe sexplay at all? Has there been any discussion about his sexual history and experiences? Other than sexual attraction, do you share any interests or goals?

2). What is your sexual history? Are you totally new to this? Have you been active in a more dominant sexual role? Or is this the beginning of your sexual journey with anyone?

3). What would your response be if the 'worst case scenario' played itself out for you in this situation? Your first anal sexual experience with a man that you barely know turns out infecting you with HIV and gonorrhea? How would that impact your life?

It is not clear to me, by the way you asked the question, whether you WANT to get pozzed, you just don't want to be fucked, OR you are trying to avoid becoming POZ and if only fucking will make becoming infected more or less likely- please clarify.

As a TOP, I would agree that it is more than having a hard cock in the right place at the right time- a TOP that thinks just as much about enabling/helping his bottom learn how to use his own body to give and receive the intense pleasure that comes from anal orgasms and full body orgasms is rewarded by even more pleasures- it becomes a 'circle of positive reinforcement' where the more in touch and able a bottom understands how his body gives and receives pleasures- the more that pleasure cycle intensifies for BOTH!  And it has been my experience that repeated encounters and 'getting to know eachother better' with a level of trust, comfort and understanding only increases the likelihood of my bottom becoming electrified underneath me as he convulses in ecstatic abandon and his rock hard penis gushes like a fire-hose without any help from anyone's hands. It is certainly worth effort to achieve on both sides!

Any updates? Any changes in your thoughts? Tell us how good he fucks you BEFORE he gives up that hot thick load that you now obviously crave?

FUCK YAH!!!!!!!! please give us all the juicy-painful details.....

PLEASE PLEASE keep updated WHEN you get your FATHER/son breeding and what  the results of your next HIV test results are! Good Luck and enjoy the ride while it lasts- you are only NEG once- but you will be POZ forever!

GOOD FOR YOU! So many of the taboos in this screwed up culture are ONLY because they don't want us having fun and deriving intense pleasure FROM OUR OWN BODIES- the politics of dis-connection is killing our spirits! WHEN you find those few, select piss-pig buddies and partners, you will be amazed at how much more ANYTHING you do together is more fulfilling and connects you in ways the you never imagined. Having a buddy over for beer and beer-piss takes it to a whole new level. When I am online chatting with potential subs on gay chat sites and they tell me they want me to give them something to learn about their sub-side and find new ways to experience pleasure- I tell them to march into the bathroom, take a good piss, dribble the last few drops on the back of their hand. Then just smell it- nothing more! That's all- or piss on yourself right when you step in the shower in the morning. 50% of the ones who get back to me and say they did it also say they could not resist and had to taste it!

Find that piss-partner, get a large suitcase of long-necks and piss your sox off!  Some pot and poppers will ensure one hot fucking night!

I'm sorry, but I got confused- how does green sustainability have ANYTHING to do with irresponsible sexual behavior and any man's dark fantasies?

MORE-PLEASE!!!!

We are all still hoping to hear how it went!

This has very little to do with HIS FANTASY to be POZZED- it is much more about what YOUR FANTASIES are...... obviously, the vague idea of your HIV virus infecting this man is strong enough to have gotten you this far- can you be honest with yourself about what you REALLY want? It is perfectly acceptable to keep this all on the fantasy level- and since it sounds like this is new territory for you- perhaps you just keep it there.  I suggest you stay on your meds, meet the guy and see what it feels like, how he responds to you, what the chemistry is.

I have NO medical background, but I have been living with HIV for over 32 years AND have been on AND off my meds repeatedly- MY understanding about how quickly the virus rebounds AFTER someone stops taking meds depends on several factors: how old you are, how long you have been POZ, what combo of meds you are on and how high your viral load was when you went on meds.

PLEASE- let us know what you decide and how it unfolds. Good Luck and enjoy your life while you have it!

AH- the intoxicating-invigorating, confusing dread of "What the Fuck am I doing?" Most of us who frequent this site have been there at some point and to some degree. Aside from getting the obvious sense that the ritual of raw-trucking with this guy is a serious turn-on for you- I have some simple questions:

- Do you trust him enough to find out IF he would give you an honest answer about whether or not he has been tested recently?

- Are you just fuck-buds, or do the two of you share other interests/passions?

- IF the two of you BOTH test HIV- and can keep it monogamous- you can live in the best of all possible worlds.