HardaddyMA

I always jokingly tell a prospective bottom that I never fist on the first date! In my experience,  a successful fisting experience is NEVER about force, or pushing, or least of all about PAIN. When I am playing with a sub who wants to know the joys of fisting, I start him off with serious enema-training: lots of enemas, larger and larger amounts of fluids held for longer and longer and longer periods of time. The goal is to train a set of muscles that we are culturally, emotionally and psychologically trained, FROM BIRTH to keep locked tight and control at ANY costs and for the greater part of our existences are taught to ignore.

I ALWAYS use lots of toys, dildos, vibrators, gallons of lube and even games of relaxation/tightening to get my boi RE-CONNECTED with how his hole works. For me, as the DOM, I take my time, enjoy developing the subtle, often un-spoken signals and 'communications' that will give me as the MAN with the fist the clearest idea of what my boi is feeling, thinking, needing and wanting just by tiny body motions and subtle clues.  I have had the pleasure of fucking 100's of men in my long horny life- but the most powerfully intimate and psychologically connected experiences I have had the privilege of sharing with another man is to feel the pounding of HIS heartbeat on the muscles of MY forearm- and if getting to that moment takes hours of play and training and just embracing the 'play' over trying to 'get it done'- I will take my time every time!

Oral foreplay is very important in my way of training and using my sub. As this DOM gets older and sexual encounters are much more about quality than quantity: the eager worship of my submissive feeds my need to dominate, and as others have stated, being able skull-fuck my ‘victim’ before enjoying him anally only re-enforces the power exchange.

But in addition to that, working a sub thru the specifics of “Sucking THE COCK” by instructing him to be aware when slowing down, and holding THE COCK all the way down, lapping the drips of pre-cum off my gaping cock-head: all stimulate the need and desire to please in my sub and obviously feeds MY need to dominate and control.  And, since I am what my regular subs used to call ‘a heavy leaker’ once that pre-cum starts, a focused and aware cock-sucker can taste every gush of my male-hormone-laced pre-cum, which only stimulates the sub’s hungers and desire to be used completely.

In fact, my current boi- who is fanatical about worshipping THE COCK with his lips, was quickly moaning and becoming more animated while lip-locked onto MY HARD-ON and gulps down EVERY drop of my pre- as if it were a powerful shot of the cum my horny sub-boi now craves. His talents and COMPLETE focus on pleasing THE COCK with his lips- (even though he wants to be claimed anally even more) stimulates me to have tantric orgasms- the energy and power of my pleasure quickly communicates to my boi thru my cock.

After this intense, prolonged and powerful a build-up of our sex-play- my boi’s ass is wet, twitching and begging for THE COCK his mouth has been making love to for the past ½ hour- which makes THE FUCK even more satisfying and intense!

EXACTLY-For starters: is this a new 'relationship'? or have you been together for some time? What does the idea of being deprived the ability to masturbate and have orgasms on your own excite you? make you scared? Angry? And the idea of going off PrEP is totally separate- again- are you turned on? Scared? What do you fantasize  your sexplay would be like AFTER you agree to all this?

be honest with him, and once you are with him, let go of the doubts and fears- AND ENJOY- and cleaning out as best you can will make EVERYTHING go much better- hoping one of you has some lube and poppers to 'ease the way'

This was a powerful story from the heart: and it feels like an honest accounting of a difficult emotional journey- excellent erotic and powerful writing- thanks so much for sharing- I shot my huge 3-day load just as you first sat down on his cock and leaned in to kiss him- I am going to save the rest for the next time I need some pleasure- thanks and tell us more please!

GuyGoneBad is so right- do NOT be captive and imprisoned by your emotions- free them, honor your needs and hungers and open up to who you can be- so much of this culture is tied up in how we look and ignores the person who is inside- I come at this from the TOP:some of my M OST powerful, intense, rewarding and experience-expanding experiences a TOTALLY needy COCK that seeks out the hunger of that sub's ass- if I was fucking you doggie-style in a dark room in a bath house- you would not experience my looks- you SHOULD only be focused on my cock and if it is hard and lubed enough to open up your hole.  Relax. Do not judge a book by it's cover- and who knows, you might meet some incredible people in the process.

From a Total DOMs point of view- there is nothing more exciting and satisfying than middle-of-the-night sex-capades of all sorts. Years ago I had an eager younger cub who would spend the weekend and part of his 'training' was that BOTH his holes were available for when DAD had to piss in the middle nite! Usually, I would get my cock in his face and rub the head all around on his lips and eyes- and if that did not wake him up, I would dribble a little piss on his lips and forehead@ He would wake with a start and immediately open his mouth wide.  There was more than one nite I had already gotten too hard to piss in his mouth, so I would slide into his always clean and lubed fuck-hole, and slowly dribble out piss while I slowly fucked him awake and would usually end with shooting a load as well. He was trained to take the butt-plug he always kept under his pillow and shove it up his filled ass to "keep the sheets clean!"

Since all of my subs were trained to ask permission to Suck The Cock, none of them would take the initiative to suck when SIR was asleep- but one of them had learned to purr or hmm in MY ear, just long enough to half-wake me and then ask permission. The primal, sub-conscious, just-feed-the-deep-sexual hungers feeling of nothing said middle-of-the-night sex is more satisfying sometimes than the rout, planned,  "Tuesday is fucking after dinner" sex that most longer-term sexual connections usually become.  I really miss the days when I could roll over in the middle of the night with a boner and have a place to put it- no questions asked@!

Hey Kenneth- hope you will share what the results are and how your cock and ass react when you get the news- The last time I was off my meds (they used to let your take 'Med holidays' to slow down the damage to your kidneys and liver that the HIV drugs did) I had a 40 yr old bottom-cub who was crazy for my POZ-cum. After giving him several charged loads a week for 6 months- he came down with the worst case of flu he had ever experienced. He would call me up and beg me to cum over- so I would pick up cans of chicken soup. go over and fuck the hell outta his sweaty, flu-scorched body. After 3 more weeks, when he had recovered enough to go out- I took him to the Dr. Office for the blood test- at that time it took like a month to get back the results.

I drove him back to the follow-up appointment four weeks later, and the head nurse sat us down in a private office, opened up a sealed envelope and quietly read that his blood-test had come back 'positive'. Sitting next to him, I could feel his ass wiggle a little and I noticed he had a crotch-bulge in his jeans. We went back to his apartment and fucked for the rest of the day- he was so happy! People react in all kinds of ways- but either way- you know there are people who will understand and support you WHATEVER your reaction is- WHATEVER the results are- hang in there!

Just curious Dlyan- what did you decide?

My bottoms have to keep up the lip-lovin on my cock UNTIL they get the pre-cum flowing. My current boi squeals and wiggles his ass when a thick glob of my pre- hits the back of his throat! The more my cock throbs and leaks the better my boi knows he is doing!  I agree- A guy who is NOT turned on and craving your pre-cum and ready to do anything to get more can't be much of a cock-sucker!

We need to know what happens when hubby finally cums home- PLEASE don't hold out on us dude- hot stuff here!

In my experience, you have nothing to be scared about and your reactions are very common- I was lucky enough to have helped a boy through what you are struggling with now. As a POZ-DADDY bear, I had the rare privilege of training a horny total bottom cub, Chuck- who could not get enough of SIR's hot, thick POZ-pumper and he begged SIR to poz him for 6 months online on the old gay.com. At the time SIR was on what they used to call a 'med holiday' which meant that as long as my t-cells stayed above 200. I was off them for 18 months! During that time  SIR would meet him on Wednesday afternoons and I would fuck at least 2-3 loads into him. After about 4 months, he got the worst flu of his life- called me to do three things- bring him some soup and ginger ale and fuck him!

A month after the fever broke- SIR took him to the local anonymous HIV Test clinic and we got him tested. 3 weeks later we were back in the waiting room for the results and SIR could see he was squirming in the chair- his ass itching to be be used. As the male nurse was telling Chuck the results of his blood test,  I could see the lump in his jeans grow- and he could not really hide the smile on his face. The nurse asked him if he was alright, and Chuck said, "I'll be just fine- don't worry!"

Chuck was opening up his pants and pulling them off as we got back to his apartment that day- he wanted a 'celebration fuck' as he called it- now that he was POZ with my demon seed. Once he WAS officially a poz-pig he actually asked if he could TOP- he had been chatting with a local guy who said he would only let Chuck fuck him If he was POZ and had the paperwork to prove it!

So, there are hundreds, thousands of men out there that feel exactly the same- so lay back and enjoy it!

that is my point- AFTER the first time you submit and let a man whose cock is drippin POZ- take you to that place of submission and lust that you have dreamed of for so long- one raw cock will not be enough- the pain and hunger will only multiply- your need will only deepen and your life will be ruled by finding the next POZ-cock.........

be careful what you wish for!!!

it's ALL about the exchange of deep sexual pleasures- vers men can have fun no matter who they are able to hook up with - as a TOTAL DOM I would love the fact that you are hungry for cock-if you met someone who only wanted cock you could make eachorher happy as well- AND if you met another vers- BINGO- "Who gets to be the bottom first here?"  GO FOR IT MAN- stop worrying about labels and have fun!
 

All three of the bottoms SIR 'helped' find the answer to that question thanked SIR when they came back with their "+" test results- and one of them, 2 years later had confessed to SIR that the only regret was that they had not followed their hungers and dark desires earlier- but every person is different and maybe hearing or talking to other bottoms who were in your position to find out what they felt and experienced....thew bond between a POZ-TOP and his boy is so unique and powerful.

that's the way a 'pussy' was made to be used- not sure who was the luckier of the two of you!! HOT story- keep up posted the next time you find what you need in a MAN~

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!  This much just got my ole bone to do some serious squirts!!!!! Incredibly well written- keep IT UP - DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!! Woofff!!!

SWEET!!!!!  Keep it going- great rhythms and extremely spare, sensual writing!  Thanks!

FUCK....... as a always-horned up POZ-DADDY bear in the woods- this has my ole bone hard and drippin as my balls slap back and forth full of the fuck- froth they will hopefully be serving, I love the writing!!!! KEEP GOIN SIS!!!

Sorry to disappoint, but I am only telling MY story, and I can make no ASSUMPTIONS about what others post on this thread- at the time I reference in my above post- I was never engaged in anal sex as a bottom- I don't judge others here- and I think we all would appreciate it if others were as respectful.

but no one knows the cumulative effect of years and years on a drug-

I'm certain that I have shared my story here before as a 100% TOP here (not had a cock even try to get in my ass since college and I'm 65 now) and the classic combo of the usual causes; starting with a very infected (but not diagnosed to my knowledge) incredible bottom hole I hooked up with int the late 1980's in metro NYC area. We our sex-adventure would start on Friday nite when he arrived & we would fuck non-stop raw while drinking cases of beer, smoking bags of pot, inhaling lines of coke and bottles of poppers every other weekend for like 6 months.  We would start fucking on Friday nite when my boy got in town on the train. When my boy left on Sunday afternoon - BOTH his ass and my fat 7 inch cock would be raw, scraped, bloody and scarred from literally hours of pounding. It would take the 2 weeks between meetings for the scabs to heal up.

He stopped showing up one day and I heard nothing from him. A few months later I found out through mutual friends that he was dying of full-blown AIDS, as were several of our mutual fuck-buddies. We started fucking in April and he stopped cuming to my apt by early August. I found out he was dying in November and I experienced what I am certain was the fuck flu in February the next year.  At that time, there were no meds, no pills and being diagnosed was like a death sentence, so I did not go in for the test.  But I knew what I was carrying in my balls and blood. 

So it is completely possible for a TOTAL TOP to become infected, I'm living proof~!

One of the above posters referred to the chance of long-term side effects of Truvada and it is worth remembering that EVERY drug- EVERY decision - has side-effects. After being HIV+ for 30 years and diagnosed when the first AZT pills were being prescribed- we were thrilled to take ANYTHING that would keep us alive- Now we know that a lot of the drugs were over-dosed and among the long term affects I suffer from are severe nephropathy  from BOTH the disease AND the meds I took to keep the virus in check. 

I guess the advise I'm offering is that there are no simple answers and no black and white solutions- EVERY choicehas consequences! IF I was your age  and had the extraordinary gift of benefiting from all my sexual experiences (of which I have many) I doubt I would go on Prep, but that is a solution that I would only suggest for myself-  I think you should follow your own conscious and trust your own judgement - and LIVE the life YOU want!  AND NO REGRETS either way!

IT has been my pleasure to explore b/d, s/m with men since I was tying up my friends at age 14 and forcing them to suck me to be freed. In a real working s/m relationship there is a  profound sense of mutual connection, trust and the ability to test the limits of the sub and the imagination of the DOM. As far as the 'pain' part - this TOP could torture you with a feather and make you squirm- its about pushing that line between what is recognized by the body as pleasure as opposed to pain>> it's the same nerves.  My most intense relationships have been b/d, s-m ones and I treasure the memories of every one. If you find someone you trust - give it a try!