I was raised in UT, left twice, and made the mistake of coming back once more in 2020. The sexual repression here is suffocating - I fell for it, but i never gave in to the pressure of a LDS mission or marrying a women. That isn't the case of so many closet queers here.
But it felt so guilty as a young teen about my feelings they got so deeply bred (pun intended) into me, that to this day I can't be intimate - I only fuck most guys once, and even after years of therapy and tens of thousands of dollars, I still prefer anonymous, raunchy, [banned word] sex. And I consider myself lucky to have escaped the trauma so may men endured here, like shock therapy.
AND I KNEW I WANTED COCK AT AGE 8.