Master-slave in relationship

[Ceregger]

Hello! I'm new here and I'd like to ask you about some opinion, points of view concerning master-slave ideology(?).

I'm 18yo and not experienced, just had rough sex with boyfriend (rougher anal and oral, spanking, tying, pulling hair..nothing extremal). I fantasize about something harder like spitting, verbal abuse, slapping, spitting, just being abused..

But I don't want to have sex with strangers, it's worthless to me. So my dream is to have a boyfriend who is normally caring, kind and thoughtful but in the bed he's really aggressive, brutal and absolute (maybe with some manifestation of mildness). Such a guy would be one who becomes violent on the strength of horniness. I wonder if I can find someone like this.

The man would also want me to be scared of him (while having sex of course) and make me crying because he loves me when suffering for him. He'd like to trick me, e.g. by kissing, being kind and suddenly changing to brutal man.

I'm quite shy, calm and skinny boy and I reflect if there is someone who gets off on innocent-looking/behaving boys.

Maybe here is such a man? Maybe someone <30yo? What do you think about the topic?

[scotty2]

Hi Timidus,

I am sure there are such men and if you are patient and have high-standards you will find one. I enjoy rough sex with my partner and it can go from lip-biting agony and piss-drinking one evening to shopping at IKEA the following morning. When I was 18 life felt really tough and I was really lonely. I went through loads of bad guys cos I was lonely and didn't think much of myself. A lot of older guys just wanted to use me and got off on a teenager getting upset over them. I wish I could go back in time and enjoy playing around but on my terms until I found a good guy. If you like yourself other guys will like you to. The kind of sex you want with the tenderness before and then after is really common. I am versatile and enjoy it when I look up and see my partner's really hard cock as he tortures my nipples. Don't let anyone trick you, persuade you to do stuff you are unsure about. Be choosy and be careful and have clear boundaries. Good luck!

[ked239]

to be honest, most guys seem up to trying new things out, if they're fairly vanilla then ease them in gently, but an ex of mine started out really caring and sensitive in the bedroom, ended up a right brutal top, so don't necessarily need to worry bout what they're into when you start out with them, you can change their opinion on it all

[Belfast-Bottom]

Yes there are Tops/Masters who are looking for a commited caring relationship, but brutal BDSM sex within it. You just have to try a few until you find one who suits you. The search may take a while, but at 18 you have plenty of time.

[kpig]

what you say you want isn't really a master -slave relationship.honestly what you describe is something most people are not capable of doing normally, switching from loving and caring to abusive and violent at the drop of a hat. don't want to pee on your parade and hate to say it but that type of thing is the hallmark of an unstable person and is not a fun thing to live with

[rawTOP]

what you say you want isn't really a master -slave relationship.honestly what you describe is something most people are not capable of doing normally, switching from loving and caring to abusive and violent at the drop of a hat. don't want to pee on your parade and hate to say it but that type of thing is the hallmark of an unstable person and is not a fun thing to live with

Well said.

[Belfast-Bottom]

Not wishing to start a row here, but I know a BDSM master in Ireland who is fully into the romantic side of a relationship ( walks along the beach, candle lit dinners ) as well as abusive BDSM sex. He combines both elements of the package and doesn't seem unstable to me.

[rawTOP]

Not wishing to start a row here, but I know a BDSM master in Ireland who is fully into the romantic side of a relationship ( walks along the beach, candle lit dinners ) as well as abusive BDSM sex. He combines both elements of the package and doesn't seem unstable to me.

I know the type... They tend to have more ritualized sessions with carefully planned and executed forms of punishment. What the OP is referencing sounds more dangerous - random, spontaneous brutality. There's a line and when you cross it, it makes a huge difference. People in the S/M community always talk about "safe, sane, and consensual" - it's important the top understand his responsibility to keep the bottom safe and out of real danger.

[Ceregger]

Of course I didn't mean mindless activities. There are always the borders. It doesn't have to be planned imo but the parteners should know and remember about their preferences, limits. Even if it's random brutality, we can set a safe word which would be sort of safety cut-out. The world may be specific, in order to damp down the top.. That's how I see it.

[scotty2]

Have clear boundaries, have high standards, be patient and love yourself more than anyone else in the world. Be happy and at ease with yourself. Then start looking for a guy. Don't settle for a guy who is cruel, unfair, unloving or not there for you. However don't be blinded or bound by looks, which are less relevant. You can have great sex with an average looking guy but cannot have a good relationship with an attractive self-centred prat.