bigdick4you Posted July 13, 2012 Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 met amazing sexy guy who is very much like me.... except for the fact that he is a bottom and im a top...we only know each other like over a month, so we still r in very early stage...we both enjoy being sluts but we also like to do the normal bf stuff like holding hands, going out for drinks and dinner....i travel a lot for work so i meet guys all over the world on regular basis.... i make sure now that i tell them beforehand that it is a NSA thing as im already in luv with someone.... i enjoy seeing him get fucked by other tops but i cant help it of also being a bit jealous...dont know if this is normal or how to control the green monster somewhat....i do want a open relationship as i dont believe in being monogamous.... he feels same way and enjoys sex with other guys when im not around.... or being used by other tops as a cumdump... together with me. im fine with that as long as it is only sex...and he assures me it is. i just dont want to know with who and when he does what, when im not around...have any of u guys experience with this type of relationship .... please feel free to give me ur opinion.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
masc4raw Posted July 13, 2012 Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 Open relationships are a very fragile thing. They can be great at first but in time they do take their toll. Learning to manage one is what is important, trying to keep the emotional factor out of the constant meetings will eventually become a bit of trouble. My suggestion is that if you want to keep having an open relationship, NEVER under any circumstance meet up with the same guys over and over again, regardless of how great the scene was. Once you start becoming friends with your fuck buddies the issues begin. They can like you more, they will like him more than you. They spent a little too much time kissing. The look in the eyes lingered longer and showed more than just lust. The list can go on. HOpe you and your beau can make things work. One thing to note from my experience is that after a while the watching me getting fucked and watching him getting fucked and watching each other fucking others, eventually became old. We found that while we enjoyed those scenes, when it got down to it, neither of us could be fully satisfied until we were in bed with each other, just the two of us. the other times it just seemed like we were having to train the other guys as to how to please us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdick4you Posted July 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 thanks masc4raw...i understand where ur coming from... i know its tricky to have open relationship...im a lot colder in that respect than he is... i make sure my fb know they r just a piece of ass or just a dick... my bf is a bit different in that respect... he believes he can also be friends with fb... something i really dont believe in... but everybody is different and sex together is amazing... we really hit it off on spiritual level and enjoy eachothers company and fall asleep in eachothers arms... this would be impossible for me with just a fb. i think as long as there is honesty... there is nothing to worry about...no matter what type of relationship u r in... there r never guarantees... i used to be in a so called monogamous relationship... and i cheated on him right, left and center... this hurt him a lot... and i told to myself... from that point on, i will always be true to myself and others... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
masc4raw Posted July 16, 2012 Report Share Posted July 16, 2012 +1 Bud It's the best thing to do, always. So little of it (honesty) goes around these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbzh Posted July 16, 2012 Report Share Posted July 16, 2012 I have been dating the same guy for 2.5 months and we are in love. While the relationship is not a closed one, it is really not open either. I suspect he wants it closed only on my end which I would never accept. We have a don't ask don't tell policy because the only feeling worse than lying is being lied to. And perhaps even more importantly, no texting, talking or chatting up other hoes in each others presence. If you can't show enough respect to honor this small request, then we don't need to be in a relationship. If your guy knows that he comes first, then that's half the battle. I agree that it helps not to have regular fuckbuddies on the side, but when you do, you don't have to cruise for sex. I have three or four guys who I can fuck if my bf is not around but they all know their position. Nobody is catching any feelings. Just fuck and go. In fact, two of these guys are in relationships. So go figure. I can only speak for myself but I think deep down we all want to be loved and to have deep, long-lasting and meaningful relationships. That does not have to mean monogamy, but if your extracurricular activities are threatening your relationship, then you do have to ask yourself which is more important. You can find a hard dick or an ass without much effort. But at some point in your life you are probably going to want more. I hope at some point to be able to have group sex with my bf but I am not going to force it on him. I would have no problem watching him have sex. He is even into us both topping a guy, but for some reason he does not want me to bottom for other tops. I need a top to explain why this is so threatening. I don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngcumdumpboi Posted July 16, 2012 Report Share Posted July 16, 2012 my bf and i have been together 3 yrs with an open relationship and it has worked great but having one isn't always easy as you must find time for each other also to keep you both physically and emotionally attached Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hungry_hole Posted July 17, 2012 Report Share Posted July 17, 2012 For me the main problem with open relationships is the issue of health. In this site one can find guys who want to get sick by purposely getting infected with HIV and/or wanting to aquire other sexually transmitted infections. But in general most people tray to avoid diseases and one way of doing it is by finding a monogamous relationship. At least for a while. We know that a large number of men are atracted to the more anonymous, impersonal sex encounters, where the only purpose is to cruise for sex. Once it becomes an "open relationship" how can you control the health issue? Personally, I can accept getting infected with some STI but I would have a hard time being responsible for infecting someone close to me, with whom I have a special sexual relationship. In the case of married men, this special person is the wife. How about having periods of open relationship and then periods of monogamy monogamous. Two people can then negotiate a certain period of time for the relationhip to be open, and even do all the tests and go back to monogamy. It would all depend on the two people and what their concerns areregareding sex outside the relationship. I think it could be very hot to re-establish monogamy after a really sleasy period, and knowing that you can experience both, over and over. Basically, a relationship doesn't have to be always monogamous or an open relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotiabear Posted July 17, 2012 Report Share Posted July 17, 2012 Me and my guy have an open relationship. I don't know how to feel about it, and I know he is on here too. I do it because he wants me to do it. Go and meet people he said...a cock is a cock...maybe for some people. I am giving it a try...can't say I don't like it 100%, but I don't exactly like it either. I am somewhat of the jealous type, and when he talks about it, or when we are out and mentions people "he did" I really bothers me. I have read some of the stuff he has posted before we got together and some of it gives me chills. I'm going to go along with it, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I do it because I love my man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdick4you Posted July 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2012 Dear scotia bear.... An open relationship can never work if ur not both ok with it...I can tell its hurting u.... Maybe u should talk about it with ur man and adopt a don't ask don't tell policy.... Otherwise it will consume u if u r jealous type...jealousy is a very negative feeling....sex is only sex and it's what happens outside the bedroom that matters most... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkroomTaker Posted July 17, 2012 Report Share Posted July 17, 2012 Me and my guy have an open relationship. I don't know how to feel about it, and I know he is on here too. I do it because he wants me to do it. Go and meet people he said...a cock is a cock...maybe for some people. I am giving it a try...can't say I don't like it 100%, but I don't exactly like it either. I am somewhat of the jealous type, and when he talks about it, or when we are out and mentions people "he did" I really bothers me. I have read some of the stuff he has posted before we got together and some of it gives me chills. I'm going to go along with it, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I do it because I love my man. Hey, You ain't gonna like this comment, but!! if you were my guy, there would be no way i would have an open relationship!! you are the beez kneez and worth being with, i would be too jealous; and we would always be in bed!! maybe i am a unintentional controller, i don't share my sweets. so i definately ain't sharing my man, your partner is very lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoCalBBversbttm Posted July 17, 2012 Report Share Posted July 17, 2012 My partner and I are also in an open relationship. This is relatively new after being together for 17 years (maybe the last two or three). The relationship is really more open on his side than mine. He travels a great deal and I felt that sooner or later there would be an opportunity to cheat on me. My thought was I would rather know than not, so I encouraged it. Truth be told, I get off on it in a wierd way. He has been with, ahem, a large number of men. To my knowledge, he is safe, but we both accept that there could be other STD's and know that. He has also been a participant in the Truvada PreP study our of San Fran for the last two years as well - so by having lots of sex, he is ctonributing back to science (LOL). For the study he gets tested Quarterly and they ask about me and his other sex partners. When we are together, we have unsafe sex and he cums in me - and I like it. Like I said, I kind of get off knowing that he has been with a number of guys (freaky I know). That said, I do know that I am the last person he wants to see in the evening and the first to wake up with and I feel that same way. It's not perfect, but it works for us - for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotiabear Posted July 18, 2012 Report Share Posted July 18, 2012 Thanks Uncut Brit...my bf is actually on your friends list but just over the past week deleted most of his profile. Removed all his pics and most of his info. Don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing...or maybe he just set up a new account. I know I love him and he loves me, that's the important thing. We both have gone through some bad relationships in the past, but we met over 10 yrs ago and recently connected again in September. It's been a rough road since then, but we make the best of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdick4you Posted July 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2012 Dear bbboybttm.... For me this open relationship is new thing too...my last real relationship was a supposed to be monogamous one... But I cheated on him in big way... He found out and I will never forget how hurt he felt... I decided there and then that I wouldn't lie about it anymore...with this new guy it was funny.... Was supposed to organize gangbang for him and I did and somehow we clicked in many ways.... Before I knew it he had placed on fbook that we were in open relationship. And I thought.... YEs that's the relationship I want to have with me traveling and all of that...and even if we were together all the time.... That's still the type of relationship I would like to have...sure it's strange to c ur bf getting fucked by other guys but I find it very exciting at same time...he is total cumdump and addicted to cum....so I don't think it's weird that u r excited that he sleeps with other men...for us it's the same .... We go to bed together and wake up together and that's what counts...the only thing I told him is... No sex in our bed and i don't want to know with who or when he had sex with others when I'm not around.... Unless I ask him...the other day I was pimping out some bottom slut and he mentioned it and I told him straight away the truth...felt funny as I thought he had been spying on me.... He wanted to know details which I didn't gave him as it felt weird...he used to have blog which he doesn't anymore and I'm quite happy about that...I would probably read it and feel jealous about it....although at the end of the day sex is just sex.... And it's just with him that I want to be with...looks like u guys r handling it well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spike-the-cat Posted July 18, 2012 Report Share Posted July 18, 2012 All relationships are hard--open or closed. Humans are not, on the whole, built for monogamy. But we are built to be jealous. Thus, either way there are going to be tensions. Negotiating it openly and setting rules you can both agree to (e.g., bigdick4u's "no sex with others in our bed" rule--and being open to renegotiation as necessary--is the only way to make it work. The best novel I've ever read showing a couple actually negotiating and living their open relationship and setting its boundaries on an ongoing basis over decades, is Samuel Delany's "Through the Valley of the Nest of Spiders." It also has such a wide variety of sexual perversions across its 800 pages that there's sure to be something to take everyone--including all the users here--outside their sexual comfort zone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HungLatinDom Posted July 18, 2012 Report Share Posted July 18, 2012 I haven't read that one, but Delany can be really uncomfortable to read, and directly gross. And I say this as a pig into felching, who was fisted, fucked bb and drank piss from an asshole from a big hairy pig with rank pits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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