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POZ TOPS, do you always tell a bottom that you are poz ?


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Posted

Im yet to do any barebacking but i have been fucked more times than i can count and sucked more guys than i can count. I always prefer married and negative tops but I doubt all are honest. Id like to think a POZ TOP wont fuck me, even if safely with condoms. I do kind of remember one guy in ohio with a biohazard tat though. I didnt know what the tat represented till just recently reading here. He did fuck me with a condom and i have been tested recently (neg)

honest answers please

Posted

In anonymous situations such as parks, cinemas, outdoors, sex parties and saunas, a neg bottom is kidding himself if he thinks a top is going to tell him he's poz - especially if he thinks saying that will cause him not to get to fuck you.

If a guy is willing to fuck you raw, you can safely assume he is poz or unsure. Never ceases to amaze me how many neg bottoms think that all the neg tops are saving their cum waiting on a hot neg bottom to appear. Married guys are sometimes the piggiest ones out there.

Barebacking is like Russian roulette. Sooner or later, the bullet is going to be in the chamber when he shoots. Embrace the thrill or stick to the condoms man. Lol

Posted

Majority of the loads I've taken over the past four years have been at the baths and only 1 guy has announced before the fuck what his status was. And that's out of dozens/scores (whatever the count) of anon loads. As bbzh stated, just assume that your are dealing with a poz guy. Trusting guys that are fucking anonymously is NOT a good idea if you are looking for neg loads only.

Posted

Im into annon bathouse sex if its safely, id just prefer to know or have the opportunity to bail if the guy is POZ. same goes for guys i invite annon to my hotel. only fuck with condoms but i wouldnt if i knew they were POZ. just a preference

Posted (edited)

To me the important question is: Why? Not that it's not a legitimate preference. Some people can only have sex in oversized pink bunny costumes. Who am I to judge.

You should consider the reasons you feel the need to know even though you're playing safe. Is it because you play safe until you don't, be it after the third beer or because you ran out of condoms with a guy. Is it because you fear stealthers? Is it because of prejudice (reality is: we are all prejudiced one way or another, it doesn't make you a bad person as long as you realize it and not let it control you).

Without wanting to be a party-pooper: You should always take forums like Breedingzone with a grain of salt. Lots of stuff on here is bovine manure. Guy who develop AIDS within a year but then claim to be HVL gifting studs for another decade.. Yeah, right. Most pozzing stories are, to use the Freudian term, fictions of omnipotence, but fictions nonetheless.

Most poz guys are sane, care for their own health and are not on a mission of destruction. You should ask yourself what makes you tick and maybe talk to some real-life poz guys, just as normal human beings, even if you don't end up fucking.

Being gay, even being a slut, doesn't mean that you have to have sex with EVERYONE. There is no obligation, no logical progression. The only purpose of life is living it.

Edited by GermanFucker
Posted

You are safer with a guy that is poz and undetectable that with a guy that does not not know his status.

If rejection of poz guys gives you peace of mind, go for it. But when you become poz you might have a really rough time with yourself, after rejecting all those guys and sticking to the negs, you are one of 'them'. I have seen that case and it is is ugly. It devastates the men. And, IMHO, they deserve all the guilt, shame and general bad feelings they get when they realize they are on of those they have been rejecting.

I converted, aware of the risks, but I never rejected poz guys, I just used condoms. And I am almost certain that the person whose I got it from did not know he was poz. I had a rough time converting, but I was with somebody who had been poz for many years and he helped me, got me in the gym, started barebacking and anonymous sex. I am happy now, I was happy while I was in the US with this beautiful poz man.

As I said, rejecting poz guys is your right, but then it also has consequences for you and for others, and it does not make you safer at all.

Posted

Hey as a bottom I prefer not to know and have the top tell me as he is fucking me or even after.. I am doing it bareback so I should assume he is POZ..

  • Upvote 1
Posted
You are safer with a guy that is poz and undetectable that with a guy that does not not know his status.

If rejection of poz guys gives you peace of mind, go for it. But when you become poz you might have a really rough time with yourself, after rejecting all those guys and sticking to the negs, you are one of 'them'. I have seen that case and it is is ugly. It devastates the men. And, IMHO, they deserve all the guilt, shame and general bad feelings they get when they realize they are on of those they have been rejecting.

I converted, aware of the risks, but I never rejected poz guys, I just used condoms. And I am almost certain that the person whose I got it from did not know he was poz. I had a rough time converting, but I was with somebody who had been poz for many years and he helped me, got me in the gym, started barebacking and anonymous sex. I am happy now, I was happy while I was in the US with this beautiful poz man.

As I said, rejecting poz guys is your right, but then it also has consequences for you and for others, and it does not make you safer at all.

I agree with this to a certain extent. I think it also depends on what age the neg guy is and how he handles it. I have turned down poz men before. But recently I did get fucked by an undetectable top with a condom first then bare. It was the fact that he was willing to use the condom which I greatly respected. Not everyone is ready to take that plunge yet. It's also if you put in your profile that you prefer neg tops and a bunch of poz tops message you. It's already been stated so it's not like they weren't warned. I have never rejected a poz top in a bad way though. Just apologized that I'd prefer to play with neg tops and hope they find a fun bottom to play with. I have gotten nasty responses sometimes.

I have nothing against poz men and I would meet up with a poz guy to have coffee, hang out, drink, but play would be a little different. I guess I'd want to get a feel for who the guy is first. But maybe you are right maybe I am setting myself up for karma or something.

And I know lots of men lie out there. It probably is just a numbers game. Even though some accept that when they bareback doesn't mean that every bottom wants to get pozzed or play with a poz man. That is the bottom's choice. But a bottom or anyone should ALWAYS ask the status of the top. Ask if they are negative or positive. The man might lie but at least you asked. If nothing is said then it's partially the bottom's fault for not even asking or discussing it first.

Posted

I am not talking about taking the plunge.

When you think you are rejecting poz guys, you are only rejecting a subset of them: Those who are aware they are HIV positive and who choose to respect your wishes. There is no way for you to know if they are really negative, they might not know, or they might be lying. I understand you do not want to become positive, so, but turning down positive guys and fucking bare with "negative" ones will not be useful for that goal. Use a condom, if you are that concerned about infection. It sucks, yes, but you cannot eat your cake and have it too. If you really want to remain negative assume everybody else is positive and use a condom every single time, unless you are in a monogamous relationship.

"I have nothing against poz men and I would meet up with a poz guy to have coffee, hang out, drink, but play would be a little different." Kinda sounds like "I cannot be a racist, I have black friends". I apologize for being so blunt, but that's how it sounds to me. Maybe other poz guys see that statement differently, but to me, it is offensive. Before switching to barebacking, I spent a year or so doing condoms and BB, as I was in a place where there was no BB scene. I found out that condoms were very dull after months of BB only in New Orleans. So, I switched to BB only. But for a while I was willing to use a condom if necessary. If a poz guy is willing to use a condom, why are you going to reject him? If the same guy would lie or stay silent, you'd fuck him, wouldn't you? So you are punishing honesty and rewarding ignorance and/or lies.

"And I know lots of men lie out there. It probably is just a numbers game. Even though some accept that when they bareback doesn't mean that every bottom wants to get pozzed or play with a poz man. That is the bottom's choice. But a bottom or anyone should ALWAYS ask the status of the top. Ask if they are negative or positive. The man might lie but at least you asked. If nothing is said then it's partially the bottom's fault for not even asking or discussing it first."

While I agree with you that bottoms NEED to ask, (and, oh, boy, how many ask _after_ I fuck them), I must tell you that you need to think carefully what do you want. Your goal is to be neg, but your behavior is not leading there. Please be realistic. It's not a game of numbers. It is your life. If you are going to become poz, better be aware it can happen to you and do not be in denial of the real risk. As it is said before, the guys in early stages of infection have much higher viral loads than most of poz guys, even the detectable ones. At one point my VL went to 120K, before coming down to 3K. Paradoxically, you are putting yourself at a much higher risk if you play bareback with guys who honestly think they are neg.

This is not about bug fetish, or about not hurting the feelings of poz guys. It is about your health and future life. Fucking bareback with "neg only" guys, who obviously are barebacking with others, put you in a lot of risk. If this scares you, stop barebacking and think it over, many times. As I said, I have seen some guys unwilling to face the risk and denying it could happen to them and they take it much worse than realistic guys.

It's your life, no need to listen to a grumpy poz man, but sooner or later reality catches you.

Posted

I do assume a guy is poz when I take his load. I really get off when as he is unloading in me, he whispers to me that he is poz. Instant boner. It's even hotter when he keeps on fucking me and knocks me up again.

  • Upvote 1
Posted
In anonymous situations such as parks, cinemas, outdoors, sex parties and saunas, a neg bottom is kidding himself if he thinks a top is going to tell him he's poz - especially if he thinks saying that will cause him not to get to fuck you.

If a guy is willing to fuck you raw, you can safely assume he is poz or unsure. Never ceases to amaze me how many neg bottoms think that all the neg tops are saving their cum waiting on a hot neg bottom to appear. Married guys are sometimes the piggiest ones out there.

Barebacking is like Russian roulette. Sooner or later, the bullet is going to be in the chamber when he shoots. Embrace the thrill or stick to the condoms man. Lol

Very well-said bbzh. Exactly right on all points.

Posted
You are safer with a guy that is poz and undetectable that with a guy that does not not know his status.

If rejection of poz guys gives you peace of mind, go for it. But when you become poz you might have a really rough time with yourself, after rejecting all those guys and sticking to the negs, you are one of 'them'. I have seen that case and it is is ugly. It devastates the men. And, IMHO, they deserve all the guilt, shame and general bad feelings they get when they realize they are on of those they have been rejecting.

I converted, aware of the risks, but I never rejected poz guys, I just used condoms. And I am almost certain that the person whose I got it from did not know he was poz. I had a rough time converting, but I was with somebody who had been poz for many years and he helped me, got me in the gym, started barebacking and anonymous sex. I am happy now, I was happy while I was in the US with this beautiful poz man.

As I said, rejecting poz guys is your right, but then it also has consequences for you and for others, and it does not make you safer at all.

Really excellent points Hung Latin Dom. You're exactly right about this!

Posted

Another excellent point HungLatinDom! I found this guy's comment about ".....having coffee with them but....." really offensive and, like you said, akin to the cliche about not being racist because you have black friends. An outstanding point and thank you for saying it.

I am not talking about taking the plunge.

When you think you are rejecting poz guys, you are only rejecting a subset of them: Those who are aware they are HIV positive and who choose to respect your wishes. There is no way for you to know if they are really negative, they might not know, or they might be lying. I understand you do not want to become positive, so, but turning down positive guys and fucking bare with "negative" ones will not be useful for that goal. Use a condom, if you are that concerned about infection. It sucks, yes, but you cannot eat your cake and have it too. If you really want to remain negative assume everybody else is positive and use a condom every single time, unless you are in a monogamous relationship.

"I have nothing against poz men and I would meet up with a poz guy to have coffee, hang out, drink, but play would be a little different." Kinda sounds like "I cannot be a racist, I have black friends". I apologize for being so blunt, but that's how it sounds to me. Maybe other poz guys see that statement differently, but to me, it is offensive. Before switching to barebacking, I spent a year or so doing condoms and BB, as I was in a place where there was no BB scene. I found out that condoms were very dull after months of BB only in New Orleans. So, I switched to BB only. But for a while I was willing to use a condom if necessary. If a poz guy is willing to use a condom, why are you going to reject him? If the same guy would lie or stay silent, you'd fuck him, wouldn't you? So you are punishing honesty and rewarding ignorance and/or lies.

"And I know lots of men lie out there. It probably is just a numbers game. Even though some accept that when they bareback doesn't mean that every bottom wants to get pozzed or play with a poz man. That is the bottom's choice. But a bottom or anyone should ALWAYS ask the status of the top. Ask if they are negative or positive. The man might lie but at least you asked. If nothing is said then it's partially the bottom's fault for not even asking or discussing it first."

While I agree with you that bottoms NEED to ask, (and, oh, boy, how many ask _after_ I fuck them), I must tell you that you need to think carefully what do you want. Your goal is to be neg, but your behavior is not leading there. Please be realistic. It's not a game of numbers. It is your life. If you are going to become poz, better be aware it can happen to you and do not be in denial of the real risk. As it is said before, the guys in early stages of infection have much higher viral loads than most of poz guys, even the detectable ones. At one point my VL went to 120K, before coming down to 3K. Paradoxically, you are putting yourself at a much higher risk if you play bareback with guys who honestly think they are neg.

This is not about bug fetish, or about not hurting the feelings of poz guys. It is about your health and future life. Fucking bareback with "neg only" guys, who obviously are barebacking with others, put you in a lot of risk. If this scares you, stop barebacking and think it over, many times. As I said, I have seen some guys unwilling to face the risk and denying it could happen to them and they take it much worse than realistic guys.

It's your life, no need to listen to a grumpy poz man, but sooner or later reality catches you.

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