POZ TOPS, do you always tell a bottom that you are poz ?

[fuckboy20]

I am not talking about taking the plunge.

When you think you are rejecting poz guys, you are only rejecting a subset of them: Those who are aware they are HIV positive and who choose to respect your wishes. There is no way for you to know if they are really negative, they might not know, or they might be lying. I understand you do not want to become positive, so, but turning down positive guys and fucking bare with "negative" ones will not be useful for that goal. Use a condom, if you are that concerned about infection. It sucks, yes, but you cannot eat your cake and have it too. If you really want to remain negative assume everybody else is positive and use a condom every single time, unless you are in a monogamous relationship.

"I have nothing against poz men and I would meet up with a poz guy to have coffee, hang out, drink, but play would be a little different." Kinda sounds like "I cannot be a racist, I have black friends". I apologize for being so blunt, but that's how it sounds to me. Maybe other poz guys see that statement differently, but to me, it is offensive. Before switching to barebacking, I spent a year or so doing condoms and BB, as I was in a place where there was no BB scene. I found out that condoms were very dull after months of BB only in New Orleans. So, I switched to BB only. But for a while I was willing to use a condom if necessary. If a poz guy is willing to use a condom, why are you going to reject him? If the same guy would lie or stay silent, you'd fuck him, wouldn't you? So you are punishing honesty and rewarding ignorance and/or lies.

"And I know lots of men lie out there. It probably is just a numbers game. Even though some accept that when they bareback doesn't mean that every bottom wants to get pozzed or play with a poz man. That is the bottom's choice. But a bottom or anyone should ALWAYS ask the status of the top. Ask if they are negative or positive. The man might lie but at least you asked. If nothing is said then it's partially the bottom's fault for not even asking or discussing it first."

While I agree with you that bottoms NEED to ask, (and, oh, boy, how many ask _after_ I fuck them), I must tell you that you need to think carefully what do you want. Your goal is to be neg, but your behavior is not leading there. Please be realistic. It's not a game of numbers. It is your life. If you are going to become poz, better be aware it can happen to you and do not be in denial of the real risk. As it is said before, the guys in early stages of infection have much higher viral loads than most of poz guys, even the detectable ones. At one point my VL went to 120K, before coming down to 3K. Paradoxically, you are putting yourself at a much higher risk if you play bareback with guys who honestly think they are neg.

This is not about bug fetish, or about not hurting the feelings of poz guys. It is about your health and future life. Fucking bareback with "neg only" guys, who obviously are barebacking with others, put you in a lot of risk. If this scares you, stop barebacking and think it over, many times. As I said, I have seen some guys unwilling to face the risk and denying it could happen to them and they take it much worse than realistic guys.

It's your life, no need to listen to a grumpy poz man, but sooner or later reality catches you.

Thank you Sir. I appreciate the advice and that you took the time to write it. You are correct that eventually I will become poz if I keep barebacking. I realized that last week and I don't know if I am starting to accept it or just not care. It just seems so natural and free to bareback and I can't really ever do condoms again. I know I am young too though. And I do realize that this is about my health and future life. I pictures my future life in some sort of monagamous relationship or serving a Sir and being his boy/slave. It could be my ignorance back then but I thought that being poz and barebacking would not lead to a great future and no relationship whatsoever. But I know that's not the case. I'm still not ready to play with someone who is honest to being "poz" and that is ignorance and stupidity on my part. But I am becoming more open to play with guys that are undectable. But then again it's the whole "honesty" thing. A guy can simply say he is undetectable to breed a bottom and infect him if he wants. I understand that regardless if the guy says he is neg, undetectable, that I should always assume poz and be prepared for what might come in the future. I'm not quite ready to fully accept this or fully understand this but I know one thing. I am tired of being afraid of how I should act during sex and how I should hold back or not go completely piggy and slutty if it's with a guy or guys I like. And I am tired of being afraid of barebacking and of the fear of getting infected. I will probably eventually cross that line.

I'm sorry if I offended the poster when I said, "have coffee with a poz guy". Yeah that did sound a little offensive and I did not mean it that way. I'm just young and a little unsure so forgive me for being ignorant or stupid. I'll mature as I get older and become more confident too

Thank you.

[bobbie]

I think POZ tops are HOT! They can really exude sexuality...I can kind of smell them out!

I want their tainted seed...it's sort of like russian roulette...will this be the one who impregnates

me? Oh! so fuckin HOT!!!

[pendolino]

never that's what i love!!! ...and sometimes i even fuck using a condom at the begin but...i use to pull it off without telling him i'm doing it i really love thinking i'm pozing some neg guy....specially if he is nice and young!! ...it makes my cock harder! Anyway...if someone ask me i'm poz i always answer NO!

[rawTOP]

Let's not forget that poz tops aren't the only ones who don't reveal or lie about their status. I've fucked COUNTLESS poz bottoms who claimed (at least in their profiles) that they were neg and only had safe sex.

In a casual hookup scenario or with anonymous sex you really have no clue what the other person's status is. Back in the '80s & early '90s we were taught "always assume the other guy is poz". That's good advice today too. Unless you really know the guy well, you can't say you know his HIV status. Even then you only know it as well as he does.

[pendolino]

never! ...opposite: i look like a sane guy i always look for neg guy, possibly young, just to try to poz them! and if they ask me something i always say NO, SURE. I'M NEG ...and even if they ask me to put on a condom.... i always pull it off while i'm fuckin i love to poz the world! ))

[HolePunchSD]

If I'm hooking up with a guy online, I don't worry because its posted in my profile. But if I meet a guy at the bathhouse or while out cruising, I don't tell him. Just like all the other men here, if I'm raw fucking a guy--he assumes all risks.

[not_sure_bb]

never! ...opposite: i look like a sane guy i always look for neg guy, possibly young, just to try to poz them! and if they ask me something i always say NO, SURE. I'M NEG ...and even if they ask me to put on a condom.... i always pull it off while i'm fuckin i love to poz the world! ))

this is what scares me. I only get fucked with condoms and i always try andmake sure its on him but obviously cant always guarantee it.

I understand and always assume the status is poz but I personally would not play with a poz top knowing they were.

[bearbandit]

I'm with HungLatinDom all the way, and not just because in certan parts of the UK transmission can mean jail time. It's my conscience. I've been +ve for over 25 years and have been extremely lucky in that time, but luck isn't an STD: the more you fuck around, the more you raise your chances of getting or transmitting HIV. These days it's not so much late diagnosis and an opportunist infection that will get you, the drugs are nowhere near perfect as I found out when I nearly died this summer.

I'm upfront about having HIV, so there's no "I didn't know" excuse. I know what my CD4 (600) CD4% (30%) and viral load are (u/d) so I've got a pretty good idea of how infectious I am., which, according to what we know now is almost non-infectious. But almost non-infectious doesn't equal non-infectious. My rule is that the most cautious guy involved sets the rules. If I don't like them, I can just put my jeans back on, whereas at present HIV is a life-long infection. I'd sooner miss out on a potentially hot fuck than put him through a tenth of the crap I've been through.

[ked239]

I prefer to know a guy's status, partly because I quite like taking poz loads, it's hot, but also because I can keep track of my likely exposure risk, and visit the GUM clinic more frequently if I think my risk level has been particularly high, but I only bother asking with online meets, after a few drinks at the end of the night, all I'm interested in is getting a load in my arse after all. I just presume that they're all poz in those circumstances.

It's definitely true that a guy who has an undetectable load is gonna be less risky than a guy who hasn't been to the clinic in years, not just for HIV, but also for every other STI out there. Seems quite extreme to say no to a poz guy even with a condom, as end of the day, it's safe, also legally he has no requirement (in the UK at least) to tell you he's poz if it's safe sex, only if it's bareback is there a legal obligation - expect the US law is similar there.

[Btm!]

I agree that having anonymous, unsafe sex with strangers is not very responsible or going to encourage any poz guys to volunteer their status.... but am I totally naive for believing guys who have online profiles - such as bbrt - and declare themselves as neg?

I just really don't imagine it's very common at all for guys to lie about it when they're barebacking. There are so many guys who are poz or don't care about status, I cannot see there being much benefit to a poz guy knowingly lying and pretending to be neg. Am I being naive in thinking that?

[RawPozLust]

It is impossible for anyone I fuck to not know that I'm poz!

[bearbandit]

People lie, especially if there's sex involved. I've seen poz friends' profiles where the whole issue is tactfully skirted around or where they've outright lied. A poz guy who's HIV is under control (and therefore as near to uninfectious as you can get) is probably a lot safer than the guy who hasn't tested for a while and thinks he's negative (while he might have picked it up a few months ago and have a massive viral load, making him very infectious).

If you want to know why poz guys might lie about their status, try wearing a t-shirt declaring yourself to be poz to your local bar.

[HotSeed]

I always assume that guys who are fucking me are poz and I never ask. Maybe half the time they will tell me they are poz. If they tell me, its usually before they fuck me and I always tell them I'm Okay with it. Once in awhile they will tell me when they have me pinned on my back and already have their cock buried in my ass. When that happens, I will act like I'm shocked and frightened and will struggle and try to buck them off me begging them not to poz me. They always finished fucking their poz load me and almost always fuck me a few more times before pulling out of my ass. Although I don't let them know. I think these are the best fucks.

[Guest Matias47]

And it's not just that people lie, it's that they don't know.

CDC estimates (yeah, I know -- now I'm going to get the CDC-is-government-and-you-can't-trust-government-for-anything responses -- nevertheless, these are the best information we have) are that 1 in 5 people with HIV are unaware of their status AND that those people could be responsible for up to half of all new infections.

So, the whole -- neg-guys-only strategy isn't actually a sound premise.

[rawTOP]

... am I totally naive for believing guys who have online profiles - such as bbrt - and declare themselves as neg?

I just really don't imagine it's very common at all for guys to lie about it when they're barebacking.

I've met MANY MANY poz guys who had 'neg' in their profiles for the simple reason that they're not out about being poz. It's a bigger problem on sites with a mixed bb/condom crowd like A4A or Manhunt. I can't tell you how many "neg, safe sex only" bottoms I've blown my load inside of. But it's even an issue on sites like BBRT. The problem is worse in some cities like Washington D.C. where people have jobs that require them to maintain a certain level of "respectability".