Poz top wants to fuck me. what to do ?

[not_sure_bb]

married, always play safe here, tested in dec so know my status. I know its likely that i have sucked and got fucked by a poz guy unknowningly in the past. Just by numbers, its had to have happened but not to my knowledge. I do not want to get HIV. I know if im sucking him with a sore in my mouth I could be infected with either precum or if he was bleeding. I know if he fucks me and the condom breaks its possible/likely to get HIV. but whats your opinion on how safe fucking with condoms are in this case ? I really appreciate him asking my opinion on poz guys, for this reason alone I want to explore possibilities. I feel bad that I dont play knowingly with HIV poz guys. he says he is undetectable. I cant imagine its fair of me to tell him i sont suck him but its ok to fuck me safely. that doesnt sound right of me to ask but i feel i need to explore the possibilities with an obviously honest guy like this.

opinion ? and please consider my situation in this replies.

[Guest BBSeroMan]

Have that Stud double wrap that POZ DICK and use plenty of water based lube cuz that will help protect you somewhat. Don't take any raw loads if you plan on staying neg. doesn't sound like your ready or willing to run ANY risks. Good Luck.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

My opinion, you're at substantially less risk if you have poz undet guys fuck you bare. Especially if he has been undetectible for a good length of time (eg: a year or more). How you come to believe that assertion is a challenge, but no more a challenge than believing a "neg" guy is neg. In fact, most "neg" guys really don't know for sure. That neg test is just a snapshot. He could have taken a high VL load two weeks before an still come up neg on most common tests. For me: I prefer poz undet when my goal is to stay neg.

Now, if he is poz undet and you're using a condom, again, you're still better off than purportedly neg. Assuming you could convince the very hot BBSeroMan to use a condom with you - you're still safer than a purportedly neg guy with no condom.

Finally, unless you have a particularly hard fuck that results in even minor bleeding in your anus; it will be difficult (but not impossible) for you to get pozzed.

If it is essential that you not catch HIV (or worse the hugely easier to catch STDs that are floating about); you might want to find your fulfillment with your own dildos at home. I don't mean this in a disparaging way. Just that there is only one way to "be safe" and that is to not engage in play with other than your wife at all.

From what you're saying, you could take his load bare and still be fine. That is what I would do with him....

Jim

[TigerMilner]

If you are always playing with condoms, I don't see your concern, or understand your screen name. But oh well, condoms say right on the box that they are 97% effective. Getting HIV from giving head is so rare. I could happen in theory, but you would know if your gums were that bad or if you had sore in your mouth. In the event of the sore, maybe you should abstain til it goes away. Gross. Also, if he is undetectable, he lowers his risk of infecting you by 96%. But the undetectable viral load reading is in his blood, not necessarily his semen. I think the jury is still out on that one because it is a blood test, not a semen test. You definitely should explore possibilities, or just stay home with the wife.

[not_sure_bb]

great replies guys. much appreciated.

[GermanFucker]

If you are always playing with condoms, I don't see your concern, or understand your screen name. But oh well, condoms say right on the box that they are 97% effective. Getting HIV from giving head is so rare. I could happen in theory, but you would know if your gums were that bad or if you had sore in your mouth. In the event of the sore, maybe you should abstain til it goes away. Gross. Also, if he is undetectable, he lowers his risk of infecting you by 96%. But the undetectable viral load reading is in his blood, not necessarily his semen. I think the jury is still out on that one because it is a blood test, not a semen test. You definitely should explore possibilities, or just stay home with the wife.

AFAIK the viral load in semen somewhat correlates with the one in blood, but there is a delay. So if the guy is on meds for years, expect the viral load in the semen to be negligable. But you in general you are right: Getting HIV from oral sex with an undetectable guy is pretty much impossible. And if one's gums are oozing all over the place or gushing blood, one really, really shouldn't have sex (rather see a doctor instead).

@ not_sure_bb:

NEVER double wrap. The friction is more likely to destroy the condom. Use extra strenght condoms for anal sex instead. The combination of undetectable viral load, a condom for fucking and oral sex, even without a condom is very, very, very safe. If you don't want to swallow the load, make him cum up your ass in the condom.

In that case, HIV shouldn't be one of your worries. However, if you are married, you should be worried about other things. Bacterial infections like syphillis or viral ones like anal warts are much, much, much more easy to catch, even if you are practising safer sex. With some STDs the odds of transmission are as high as 50 or 80%. So even if you lower that by using protection, you still got a 10 or 20% chance of catching it.

In the long run your wife will find out.

Another piece of honest advice: Find out what you really want and learn to be at peace with it. If your family is priority no.1., don't hang out on barebacking / HIV fetish sites. The thought of taking an anonymous load with all the risks that entails will just fester in your mind until one day you will actually make that a reality. I've seen plenty of safer sex advocates who got so turned on by barebacking that in the end they just let anyone cum up their ass in a sauna steam room. And yes, some caught HIV in the process.

I think your main problem isn't really HIV: I know serodiscordand gay couples, some use condoms, others bareback all the time, because the poz guy is on meds. Nothing ever happened. With all due respect, your problem seems to be in your head: You want to be a family guy and a true slut at the same time, which creates enormous psychological pressure.

Edited January 23, 2013 by GermanFucker

[not_sure_bb]

No argument from me on the pressure. however, I absolutely know my role as a slut. Thank you for your reply, its appreciated.

[seaguy]

Do people not know how to use Google? Studies and loads of information about HIV is online readily available.

[not_sure_bb]

Know how to use google well actually. looking for more info, FIRSTHAND knowledge and confirmation. but thanks for YOUR help !!!

[totalasspig]

Not Sure BB,

Admit it - your married and love getting it up the ass and take loads raw.

I always say "You Play Raw, You Pay Later..whether it's an STD or HIV"

I don't know why Married Men kid themselves - take the load raw and get over it!!

[Guest GoodExercise]

Let him breed you. You need it.

[einathens]

i'm gonna skip the part where i want to scream about married men.

let me just say this-- if you have to ask what to do, do nothing.

[iamwhatiam84]

everyone is replying about whether or not you'll get infected......i think the real question is: How honest are you with your Wife? are you in an open relationship with her and is she okay with your sexual lifestyle? you're concerned about the poz guy's opinion?!?!?!? what about your frickin wife? is it "fair" to her????

Edited February 9, 2013 by iamwhatiam84

[fillmyholeftl]

double wrapping actually increases the incidence of condom breakage

[not_sure_bb]

I did not let him fuck me. as hot as he is and how horny i am, i did not go thru with it. I just dont want to be pozzed.