What do you think is the main cause of homophobia?

[vrsbbltn]

There must be over a thousand reasons, but based on my experiences, I'd like to comment a few things and explain which I feel is society's main reason to reject us. I'd like to center this discussion in gay men, excluding transvestites and transgenders, to make it simpler.

I wasn't raised under the influence of any religion. I did go to church (catholic and protestant), but very few times. My parents taught me to respect everyone. So, I was raised without any direct source of hate towards gays trying to influence my way of thinking. I did grow up hearing a lot of anti-gay bashing, mockery, etc., but as I am very objective and open minded, I just regarded it as ignorance from people not worth caring of.

I always accepted my sexuality, saw and see it as something I can't nor wish to change to make others happy. I never had a girlfriend, nor say I have one.

I wasn't always open about my sexuality because I was too shy, felt afraid of being rejected, but again, I didn't care if I was, I was not going to change who I am.

All of my life I have been curious about certain things related to gays. I used to not like many things, and I still dislike many of them to some extent. For example, still today, I find it hard to believe that so many gay men speak with such annoying voices (and I'm sure you know which kind of voices I mean). Still today, I don't understand what's so fun about wearing women clothes/accessories. Still today, I don't understand the drama most of us show every single day.

I have always acted like a man (that's what I am), being gay is just a sexual preference, but we are still men. I speak, dress, act like a man. I am not bitchy, I am very humble, like to look good, but don't care about expensive clothing and so on. I can do any kind of job, don't care if I get dirty or sweat a lot, if I get a cut don't start crying. I am not Mr. Macho Man, never think "no-one will ever know I'm gay, I'm way too macho", NO! Many people do notice, many others don't. I remember two situations when I was called "faggot", one in 12th grade by a girl for about 3 weeks and once while I was walking to a grocery store near a house I used to live when I was 19 yo, this one was a young man, it only happened one time. Besides that, I have been asked indirectly if I'm gay a couple of times, but not in an offensive way. I guess many regard me as an educated, good mannered man, not necessarily gay.

So, I don't feel like a victim of society. Every time I know of the terrible time gays go through I feel deeply sorry, but barely identified, as I was barely bullied by that, I was a LOT by other things, but not because of that. My parents fully accepted me when I told them I'm gay, I have never felt discriminated at any job, I am not afraid of being bashed for being gay. I know VERY religious people and they fully accept me, I get along perfectly with straight men. I have been/treated with very low class people and never felt in danger.

When in the USA I notice I am barely discriminated because of being Latino. For the same reason, I don't act trashy. Many of my fellow Latinos are always complaining and I tell them plain and simple "don't pretend to be accepted while acting so trashy, you won't, start by dressing up neatly and speaking more properly".

I feel that what society dislikes the most about us is the way we act, many things like what I previously said are simply annoying. Actually, there's a lot of homophobia between gays because of the same thing. I think society is more than ready to accept us, or at least being about half or even less homophobic than today if more gays live a normal life. By normal life I mean not an acted one. If more of us leave that bitchy attitude at home, speak with our normal voices, dress neatly instead of like a cheap woman wore, etc., we would be much more accepted. Religion nonsense won't be much of a deciding factor these days, in fact, it's power nowadays is much lesser than decades ago.

Concluding, it's not about changing who we are to be accepted, it's about discarding so many learned annoying conducts.

Do you agree or disagree, why?

[VC Yadomaru]

I do not think gay men should pander to straight people to fit in. I don't want people to "accept" me based on the condition that I behave the way they would like me to. That's not genuine acceptance. I'm not here to make homophobes comfortable, or to like me, or to accept me. I can get those things from myself or from people who like me for the person I am.

I don't care about acceptance. I want respect.

[LBRaw]

Respect, Acceptance, etc..... All of it comes down to ignorance. We are all taught it, learn it, accept it. All to various degrees. Whether it's Gays, Jewish people, Black people, Disabled people, whomever..... They are not like me, I don't understand them, so they are less than me....

As with every other social ill, it will always be a part of our lives.

[bobbie]

Respect, Acceptance, etc..... All of it comes down to ignorance. We are all taught it, learn it, accept it. All to various degrees. Whether it's Gays, Jewish people, Black people, Disabled people, whomever..... They are not like me, I don't understand them, so they are less than me....

As with every other social ill, it will always be a part of our lives.

I think you're right! However I DO think the 20 somethings are much more tolerant and less discrimitory! They are much more accepting. I get a kick out of some old guys thinking that all gay people

want to have sex with them...have they looked in the mirror? LOL

[Guest lamby1959]

As I grow older I've come to realise that its not the Straight Homophobes we have to be concerned about but the Bigotry,Racial,and Other Prejudices from within the Gay Community that could harm us more.

[hungry_hole]

I was recently in Santiago, Chile and noticed that attitudes towards homosexuality have changed quite a bit. A 20 yr-old told me that he was on a city bus with his dad, who knows his son is gay. A couple of young gay boys were also on the bus, singing and having a good time, when someone on the bus started yelling: "Those faggots, get off the bus!". The father of the boy stood up and said that his son was gay and that he was proud of him. "And the person who has to get off the bus is you!" pointing at the person who had started complaing. Then people on the bus started clapping.

When I told this story to a niece of mine, she told me that something similar had happened in her university class. She is attending Medical School at a Catholic university and in one of the religion classes a priest started saying that homosexuality is a sin, etc, etc. One of the students got up and told the priest that he is gay and that he cannot identify with anything the priest was saying about being gay. Then, the students began to clap and the priest had to shut up.

Attitudes towards same-sex relations have changed in many countries. But what has to change next is the attitude towards free sex between men. Yeah, many people are willing to accept men getting married and living together, but the need that men have for porn and impersonal/anonymous sex is still not accepted. Let's face it, men like sex and this fact should be accepted. This is for me the big one.

[Pig Bottom]

Fear and ignorance.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

The opening question is "What do you think is the main cause of homophobia?".

I think the root is self hatred. The majority of homophobia comes from people who are struggling with their own internal conflicting feelings. Those conflicts could come from many sources (church, family, social norms in their community, their own confusion about what they assume defines "gay" that doesn't mesh with their self image).

[hairyone]

There are many reasons. I'd like to bring up another one: public sex. Our current society deems public sex to be inappropriate. (I'm not supporting that or against that here. It's a fact; particularly in the US.) It is true that there are some heterosexuals that have public sex, too. But, from what I see, it happens too much in the gay community. Many people find it offensive. And it reflects badly on all of us.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

There are many reasons. I'd like to bring up another one: public sex. Our current society deems public sex to be inappropriate. (I'm not supporting that or against that here. It's a fact; particularly in the US.) It is true that there are some heterosexuals that have public sex, too. But, from what I see, it happens too much in the gay community. Many people find it offensive. And it reflects badly on all of us.

True. But those instances are relatively spread out, not something in every town every where. I believe those who find public sex offensive tend to be specific in their dislike (not liking public sex specifically rather than the sexual orientation group).

[Guest faggot hole]

Just plain stupidity

[vrsbbltn]

All humans want to be accepted and/or tolerated. When we are part of a discriminated group we say all sort of things to justify ourselves and say that everyone else is wrong, is stupid, and should accept us no matter what.

Now I'd like to ask the following:

- Do any of you or other people you know have a 100%, again, a 100% discrimination-free mind?

- Can you say that you are cool anytime anywhere with any race, any person with peculiar conducts, looks, smells, hair styles, way of dressing?

Truth of the matter is we gays are easily the most discriminating. We reject fats, ugly, old, and anything else we don't like. We reject people because we don't like the way they are dressed, because they are too short, because they are other race than the one we like to have sex with, etc.

What I mean is that there's not a single human, or maybe very few who can say is 100% discrimination free towards other humans. We are born full of defects, and competition, rejection among us is the norm.

For that reason, I feel we won't ever be completely non-discriminated, we are way too colorful. What we should aspire for is to be respected. By respected I mean the following; on their inside, many won't like us, but they should understand that we are as human and have the same rights as them, so they should respect us, don't treat us like we are not worth anything, not bullying us, threatening us, etc. That's a more real approach IMO.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Good points there vrsbbtn. Thanks!

[skinster]

One of the reasons - a very dogmatic view of humanity without much understanding or respect of anything about it.

Why do I have to "love thy neighbor" if I get shit in return!

All humans want to be accepted and/or tolerated. ... I feel we won't ever be completely non-discriminated, we are way too colorful. What we should aspire for is to be respected.

Damn right!

[kwhotboi]

I believe it is based on jealousy. They know we are having more sex more often and enjoying it more than they are so they hate us for it.