Married bottom tying to control myself but finding it so hard!

[pullmanslut]

Married total bottom, I live in a small town and have a couple fuck buds that fuck me raw. I'm neg so far. Luckily because of the small town I've kept my addiction in check, besides my fuckbuds I have had maybe 6 other anonymous hook ups over the last 10 years. I have 2 kids, one is a freshman and the other is in 7 grade.

I'm trying to hold out my desire to let loose until they graduate high school, but I'm finding it so hard to control myself. I don't want to leave there mother and break up there home possibly screwing them up for life, yet I have cock and cum on my mind constantly.

Don't really have a question here just needed to vent I guess. What's your guys thoughts on this?

I feel like a total bastard and asshole for going behind my wife's back, but I want cock so bad!!

Thanks for listening.

[RimBoy87]

I can just tell my own story. I were with a girl, whom i lived with, i went behind her back to get fucked by men. And came to my senses that it was right for me. I broke up with her, and that have been the best move in my life ever. I can now live out my gay-side to it fullest - which i certainly do I'm sure i will NEVER date a girl again because cock and a hot masculine man is just soooo much better! I havn't come out of the closet yet, but im sure many of my friends know what i'm doing in my spare time Its not like i hide it very much (or get to hide it)

I understand that its tougher when there is kids involved, but i dont think you will be happy before you end the relationship... Sorry.

[einathens]

you aren't being fair to anyone. your kids are old enough to sense that there's something off in their parents' relationship, and also old enough to not be traumatized by an amicable divorce.

there is no honor at all in lying, hiding and putting your wife at risk, no matter how you try to rationalize it. there's no love or cherish in it either.

[Topper]

Be honest with yourself and your family admit who you are own it and you will be free to enjoy yourself without all the guilt.

[pullmanslut]

Thank you for all your replies and frankness, I have a lot of thinking to do.

[Guest Matias47]

I have a couple of questions:

How's your relationship with your wife otherwise?

Do you still have sex with your wife? Frequently?

Are you bi or gay?

Is it only with men you have sex with outside of your marriage?

And a comment: If you are still having bb sex with your wife, your activities do put her at risk. This is a situation where you may find a counselor of some sort. I don't necessarily mean couples counseling, but someone you can talk to about your stuff -- instead of us wackos over here on Breeding Zone. I think we may be biased.

[pullmanslut]

Relationship with wife is good otherwise, I have sex withe on occasion, maybe once a month if that. I guess I consider myself as bi, but only have sex with men outside the marriage. Never been with another women since I've been married.

[bearbandit]

The kids are old enough to cope with a quiet divorce: I was 12, my brother 9 the first time our parents split up. There followed 4 years of grief as they tried to hold it together "for the kids". In the end, when our father finally left, we couldn't wait to see the back of him and deeply resented "access days". Just a piece of anecdotal evidence....

[DarkroomTaker]

Hey PM, IMO, I would follow how you feel and what is best in your circumstances, only you know that, not us, its okay for us to draw our own conclusions etc, you are living in it.

Some negative comments here about lying, hiding etc, however; only you can decide and know when the time is right, if it ever is.

I do agree with the post on putting your wife at risk though, that is something you need to sort soon.

Hope its okay to say.

[seaguy]

I would just be careful when it comes to your older son and what could happen to him at school since you live in Pullman which is small and small towns gossip so he could end up being the target of bully's?

Otherwise the boys will be able to deal with it just fine and you will feel a weight off your shoulders once you are able to live without the secrets, and fear or those secrets getting out..

[macer8]

I don't see your problem - is it just guilt? Your body craves cock and cum - so let it have all it needs! What does your wife and kids have to do with that? I fuck a lot of married guys - most of them don't identify as gay or bi, they just want a cock in them!

[pullmanslut]

Yes the majority of my feelings is guilt....

[TustinBB]

Let nothing but fear hold you back!

[jimmy01420]

I would prefer to play with other bisexual men and that my wife have an open mind and be willing to share with both of us, that way I would not need to feel guilty.

[macer8]

Your body has needs: Do you feel guilty when it tells you it needs food? Do you feel guilty when it tells you it needs to urinate? Do you feel guilty when your body requires medication? So why should you feel guilty because your cunt needs to be stuffed with cock? Why should you feel guilty because your guts need to be filled with other men's semen?

The only thing you should EVERY feel guilty about would be infecting your wife or children with one of the STDs you'll bring home.