Bbikercub Posted February 12, 2013 Report Share Posted February 12, 2013 I've noticed there seem to be a high number of current and past gay porn stars committing suicide lately. Such a shame. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2013/02/05/arpad-miklos-gay-porn-star-dead_n_2624369.html "The body of Arpad Miklos, 45, was found Sunday next to a suicide note that instructed close friends on what he wanted for his memorial. A gay porn star has been found dead in his lower East Side apartment from an apparent suicide, it was revealed. The body of Arpad Miklos, 45, was found by friends on Sunday — next to a suicide note that instructed close friends on what he wanted for his memorial. He also wrote that he “knows there will be judgement, the haters can hate and speculate” but he did not give a specific reason as to why he killed himself. Police found pill bottles and alcohol containers scattered around the body, police sources said. The tragic news was confirmed by New York writer Randal Lynch on the latest instalment of the GwistTV “Gwissues” show. Of Miklos, whose real name was Peter Kozma, he said: "He was a great guy on top of (being a porn star). There was a lot more to him than just that surface persona. "He was a very active person in the gay community. He wasn't happy, I would say, but he wasn't going into crying fits. He was a hard nut to crack. "I knew he was depressed, but I didn't realize the severity of it, because he was not a very talkative person about his own emotions. "He wanted people to know that he was OK and wanted to put on a front for everyone around him." Hungarian-born Miklos, who worked as a chemist before being discovered by the Kristen Bjorn porn studio in 1995, starred in 60 gay and straight films over his 15-year career. He was also voted Best Top Escort at the 2007 International Escort Awards." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkroomTaker Posted February 12, 2013 Report Share Posted February 12, 2013 That is sad, he was a great looking guy - loved his smile too. Bless.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bbikercub Posted February 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2013 And yet another within weeks! This time Karim from Colt Studios. Possibly suicide again. It pains me when people see suicide as the only way out, been there myself and know how hard you have to fight those feelings so they don't take hold. http://floridaagenda.com/2013/01/30/manors-tragedy-m-e-ruling-pending-on-popular-bodybuildermodels-unattended-death/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dickluva Posted February 23, 2013 Report Share Posted February 23, 2013 To anyone suffering from depression GET HELP! You may miss the best day of your life if you leave early. To loved ones of victims: Get help if you need it. Therapists can help you learn more coping skills, & improve the ones you have. It seems to me there have always been suicidal/self destructive porn stars/escorts. It is difficult for me to understand how a man (or woman) who is in the top 1% of looks, I mean gets paid just to smile, with or without clothes, can find no happiness in this World. I tried for years to be model or an actor, I couldn't even get an agent. It is sad whenever someone takes their own life, I've known several. $$$ talent & fame don't equal happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
straycowboy Posted February 23, 2013 Report Share Posted February 23, 2013 I personally have never believed in suicide,but that didnt stop me from trying twice when younger.It turned out I had some serious chemical imbalances, so it could have been any number of reasons. It's sad anytime it happens no matter what the reason. I feel for those close to him. Straycowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bbikercub Posted February 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 I've just started to feel better after what I can only describe as another of the worst weeks of my life. Why? No reason at all. I had a bad downer after parTying, something I think I won't ever do again now, and being on a reduced dose of my antidepressants. I went from feeling ok on Monday to feeling suicidal on Tuesday and Wednesday then to thinking I'd damaged my brain. After that I started slowly to get better, but only after going back to my original dose of meds. So I'm starting to think I may also have a chemical imbalance. I have also now found that relaxation and self-hypnotherapy work really well for me. If anyone has really bad downers, go see your doctor! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipesmokin'manfucker Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 Might be worth taking into account that people of Eastern European ancestry have a pronounced proclivity toward depression, alcoholism and suicide. Why people choose it is ultimately mysterious and inexplicable. It's a choice which leaves relatives and friends of the deceased scarred and traumatised. Truly, truly tragic to the point of devastation. Suicide sux. Medical help to choose life and hope rather than despair and death is available for people tempted toward suicide. And may Arpad Miklos' memory be for a mitzvah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bbosouno Posted March 6, 2013 Report Share Posted March 6, 2013 I'm extremely late posting regarding recent porn star suicides but depression affects everyone. I understand depression had a lifetime of it. Depressive minds think differently, interpret things differently, view things differently. In depression your mind starts "collecting " everything perceived as negative in your life present and past and obsesses about it non-stop until you go into the hopeless mode then suicidal. As someone posted earlier it takes a TREMENDOUS amount of personal work to change that thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belfast-Bottom Posted March 7, 2013 Report Share Posted March 7, 2013 I honestly think that increasing drug use in both the gay and porn scenes has a lot to do with suicidal depression. The porn scene has been rife with drugs for years. Bbikercub wrote "I've just started to feel better after what I can only describe as another of the worst weeks of my life. Why? No reason at all. I had a bad downer after parTying, something I think I won't ever do again" . I'm not a prude. I use alcohol and poppers in moderation. When people start using highly addictive drugs for fun, they pay in more ways than money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest slobbvers Posted March 7, 2013 Report Share Posted March 7, 2013 I'm not a prude. I use alcohol and poppers in moderation. When people start using highly addictive drugs for fun, they pay in more ways than money. I agree. I am the same with alcohol and poppers. Within the last two years I've quit pot smoking. Had to to look for work. I don't miss weed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NastyRigPig Posted March 7, 2013 Report Share Posted March 7, 2013 Keep in mind, alcohol is a depressant as well. I've never met someone mean on pot, but I've met several mean drunks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bbikercub Posted March 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 13, 2013 Sorry to have to report yet a other guys Wilfred Knight, actor for Lucas film took his own life two weeks after his husband took his. Another tragic end. I really wish people didn't see suicide as their only way out. http://www.queerty.com/death-of-porn-actor-wilfried-knight-confirmed-committed-suicide-two-weeks-after-husbands-death-20130312/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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